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| 1. Large, loft style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not. 2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, do not worry which wire to cut - you will always choose the right one. 4. It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will patiently attack you one by one, by dancing around in a threatening manner until you've knocked out their predecessors. 5. If you are pretty and blonde, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission by the age of 22. 6. Honest and hardworking policeman are traditionally gunned down three days before retirement. 7. During police investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least one. 8. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach armpit level on a women, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 9. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 10. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there's someone in the control tower to talk them down. 11. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 12. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it is not necessary to speak the language - a fake accent will do. 13. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 14. A man will show no pain while taking a ferocious beating, but will wine when a woman cleans his wounds. 15. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises while wearing revealing underwear. 16. Word processors never display a cursor on screen, but will always say: Enter Password Now. 17. All bombs are fitted with an electronic timing device with large red readouts so you know when they are going to go off. 18. A detective can only solve a case once he's been suspended from duty. 19. Police departments give officers personality tests to ensure they have a partner who is their total opposite. 20. Foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English. |
| THINGS IVE LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES |
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| A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." Thee dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear." |
| A Woman And Her Husband |
| A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back... "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!" |
| A Man |