More play and dramas from my freshmen class.

The Story of White Hair

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful maiden named White Hair. She lived with her mother and father in the Chinese countryside. The family was poor and had very little money for the rent. The Landlord (played by a gal) was a ruthless man who would smoke his pipe all day long. His brown-nosing Servant (played by a gal) was equally tyrannical.

One day, the Servant went to the Poor Man's house to collect the rent. The Servant was very happy. He was singing a beautiful and lyrical song. Then, when he got to the door of the house, he yelled, "Poor Man, come out!"

The frightened poor man came out and welcomed the Servant, "Servant of my lord, what brings you here?"

"Poor Man! I have come to collect the rent. Bring the money now."

"But I have no money," responded the Poor Man and his hunchback became even more hunched.

"Poor Man! My Master will not be happy. You must come back with me and have a talk with Master."

So the Poor Man went back with the Servant to the Landlord's home. There was the Landlord, lying back in his chair with his feet up. The Servant instantly grovelled and started massaging his master's legs. The Landlord whispered something into his Servant's ear.

The Servant stood up and pointed viciously at the old man, "Poor Man! My Master has an offer to help you."

"My lord is too kind."

"Poor Man! You must allow my Master to take your daughter, White Hair, as one of his wives.

"But lord, I cannot do that. She is my one and only precious daughter. I cannot do that."

The Landlord whispered more into the Servant's ear. The Servant took out a sheet of paper with writing on it. "Poor Man! My master is a generous and merciful man. If you put your fingerprint at the bottom of this sheet, he will give you more time to pay the rent."

The Poor Man was overwhelmed with thankfulness and instantly put his fingerprint on the sheet. The Servant started laughing. "Stupid Poor Man! This sheet is a contract that requires your daughter to marry my Master! Ha ha ha!"

The Poor Man is simply crushed and rushes back home ahead of the Landlord and the Servant. He begs for his daughter's forgiveness and asks her to leave this place and to never return. White Hair is a filial daughter and forgives her father. She quickly picks up what little belongings she has. She leaves home with tear-filled eyes never to see her parents again.

Twisted Excerpt from Journey to the West

The Buddhist priest, Sanzang (played by a gal), and his three disciples have travelled a long distance to the Kingdom in the West in search of the Buddhist Sutra. His disciples include Pig (guy), the irritating but playful one, Friar Sand (gal), a hot-headed monk, and Sun Wukong (gal), the Handsome Monkey King.

The foursome are able to gain audience with the Queen of the West. Instantly, she admires the lovely, manly features of Sanzang. She, indeed, has the precious Buddhist Sutra in her possession, but she wishes to have a private audience with Sanzang.

The disciples are left to their own devices and end up getting drunk, especially Pig. Sun Wukong and Friar Sand are curious what has happened to their master. He had been gone for a long time. Pig could barely care less; he wanted to drink more and then sleep. So Wukong and Sand go off in search of Sanzang.

At the same time, the Queen is really laying the moves onto Sanzang. However, because he's a Buddhist priest, he has a vow of celibacy. He tries his best to fend off her intentions. Then the lights go out and the Queen is scared and is soon in the priest's embrace. Sanzang tells her not to be scared and that he will protect her. The Queen is ecstatic.

Soon, Sun Wukong and Friar Sand are heard calling out for their Master. They stumble into the Queen's chamber and finds the Queen in the arms of their master. The two disciples are obviously very confused.

The next day, the royal wedding takes place. Sanzang informs his three disciples that he will not be able to return home with them and deliver the Sutra to the King. The disciples are happy and disappointed for their master and soon journey back home.

After many months of travel, the three arrive home and present the Sutra to the King (played by the gal who played the Queen). He is grateful for their service to him and offer them all the pleasures of the world. They, however, all want to go home and have a new master. On the side is standing the Goddess of Mercy, Guan Yin, and the King suggests that the three become her disciples. Guan Yin is simply horrified by the prospect of teaching the three. She screams and exits stage right.

William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

Juliet (gal with short hair) is sitting in a cafe or restaurant sipping on a chocolate Vitasoy drink box and minding her own business when Romeo (gal with long hair) plunks himself down right beside her. Juliet is offended at his arrogance and vanity. Her brother (guy) calls her to get away from that Capulet scum and come home.

Enter the narrator. He explains that even though Romeo was offensive and undesirable at first, Juliet began to fall in love. Soon, they were getting married. The priest was there, Romeo's friend was there, Juliet's mother was there, but ... hey ... we're missing someone.

They were about to say the vows when Juliet's brother crashes the wedding. He expresses his true love for Juliet which really boggles my mind since he's supposed to be her brother. Mother scolds him and tells him to go home and rest. Being the obedient son, he listens to her.

The wedding continues, but then, brother comes back into the church. He says he changed his mind. He draws out a gun and lodges cold steel into Romeo's bosom. He drops the gun and starts to walk away, but then Juliet won't let her wedding be upstaged. She grabs the gun and kills her brother. Then, in the predictable tragic Juliet way, she turns the gun on herself and lives ... er ... dies ... uh ... is dead with Romeo forever.

That's the end of it all. The whole session took about 1.5 hours and was a lot of fun. Let me also add that I have embellished some of the student's stories. I take no responsiblity for their accuracy or content. 'Nuff said.