archives

16.11.o5

15.11.o5
absence makes the heart grow fonder stronger
as you can see, i'm still alive and not dead yet. so i dunno. but maybe that's just coz today was strike... so i guess we'll see what happens in the end.

since no one wants to hear an emo spiel... i will go on to tell you how awesomely awesome today was. =)

so strike yeah? first two periods hung out at f block with all the other early people, doing eco. =) hehe. then found out some interesting news... lolz. which would later affect latter parts of the day. =)

then recess, which i don't really remember...

then it was off to the now dreaded english... HOWEVER... guess what we watched??? =))) hehe. pride and prejudice... with THE original mr. darcy. =) hehe. awesome awesome.

eco... and it was actually kind of ok for once. kind of zoned in and out but yeah... ><"

maths and stocktake. lolz. haha. sooo much of a bludge. harshi, mel, beck, chris and moi. sorry to bore you with our talk chris! haha. and fudge. lolz.

lunch was majorly windy and then lots of talk about the thing we were talking about in the morning... *wink wink nudge nudge* lolz. =) hehe.

science and some random video about the brain (that isn't quite so random, considering all the other classes have watched it too..) didn't really pay attention, but the eco textbook is so hard to understand!!!! (hurry up!!)

maths and more bludging. =) honestly didn't do anything this time round... but mrs corfield was cool and gave us sudokus. =) much fun. haha. yeah... *nids*

then home... and major windyness... *sigh* eek. ><"

then slept. zzzz. =) so bad. but ah wellz.

and now i'm here. working on a new layout. colours anybody?

~xox

14.11.o5
guess what?
well, i won't even make you guess. i fudged up big time. so, you know how i said i was ok? now? i'm not. maybe it'll cost me season 2 (please?!?!?) but... *sigh* too bad.

anywayz... there's nothing else to really write. meh. lee got out. meh.

can she even be bothered to feel
when it seems like everything is crashing down
a world once so secure
now, with everything
falling, like there's been an
earthquake, shaking the
foundations of her life
nothing being spared
not her pride, her emotions, her heart
the walls are being built up
already, stronger, to withstand
the aftershocks, if they come
which they will
ghosts to haunt her
of the past
where things weren't as simple
but neither are they now
so she closes up
hiding behind the walls
but the fear is still there
maybe they'll ambush her
behind the steel walls
and trap her
until she starves
maybe they'll torture her
demanding more information
or maybe they'll just leave her
in silence
which could kill her
all she wanted was to
let it all out
and open up
somehow
and then the choice
she made
backfired
and now
she means nothing

i want to be angry, but i guess i lost the right to that when i put it up for all the world to see.

~xox

13.11.o5
sms _____ to nineteen ten ten
idol-ing... and it ain't so bad. i'm just sad that there isn't anyone that i'm really going for. though i guess

kate- heaven (suits her), like a prayer (not strong enough)

lee- faith (massively punked up), tainted love (he's getting the punk whiney sound...)

emily- hit me baby one more time (why?!?), i will always love you (suits her but a bit flat...)

my decision? the same as this morning. i like all the songs that they all did. =) but i just don't like any of THEM. so woulda gone with dan england though. =)

ok. hands down can officially be added to the list of songs that make me cry. ><" *sigh* maybe just coz it's the acoustic version. anyone wanna get me acoustic version of vindicated? his voice is good. and yes rach, he isn't too bad looking. ;) hehe.

can we kick them all out? like, seriously, can they all get voted off? three way tie? and then bring back.. dan and anne. =) and there you go.

thought i'd kick some boyziimen in here for a bit...

My heart belongs to you
No matter what I try
When I get courage up to love somebody new
It always falls apart �cause they just
Can�t compare to you
~ four seasons of loneliness boyziimen

interesting... anywayz. should prolly post.

hahaha. degrassi... muahahaha. =)

~xox

12.11.o5
late night art...
i should sooo be nano-ing right now. i did some this morning though... just have to type it up. meh. will do.

why do you need ribbon? huh? you confused me love. ah wellz.

icon shopping again... i get knocked down, but i get up again, you're never gonna keep me down... lol. amusing. as are gmail convos. =) hehe.

ooh. making some more icons. with my funny pictures... =) like the ones that i was attempting to do during SC when i had finished early (although i can't even remember the ones that i did, and the ones that i COULD remember, don't nearly look as good as they did the first time round... which means that they look shoody as shod right now.. *sigh*)

ok. it's been a while since i last wrote the above... like... 3 hours... but was gmailing with trish. and got to talking about things on the news... kind of in a round about i don't really want to say what we were talking about right here kind of way. and feel really sorry for her (not trish) and what she must be going through. and then reminds me of that other time... and recently as well... life and death and everything between and all that jazz...

drops of jupiter... sweetness. and sidewalks... man. love it. =)

back after a while... eep. i'm in trouble.

i feel like i've lost everything when you're gone...

randoms... *sigh* so i've... i have the urge to swear right here... but i won't... i've screwed up. and it's because i was selfish and wanted to think about myself for once and sort myself out for a while. but now it gets complicated. no amount of apolgies can make it up.

trust is like a crystal vase. once it's broken it's gone forever.

wrong? or right?

i'm just a damn hypocrite.

damn me for thinking of it in the first place. damn me for writing it. damn me for wanting something for myself. damn me for doing the spontaneous thing in my life for once. damn me for just trying to sort it out. damn me.

written and sent
into something so untangible
wondering who will find it
friends at first
no complications.
then craziness
insane, writing, over and over
everything, feelings and such
then exposure
and then falling apart.
and JG gets forgotten.
hurt, pain and distrust
for once not on my part.
for others
and it's my fault.
so i've become just like one of them.
hating myself for it.
apologies over and over again
won't change it all
and now the wall is being built back up
fear closes in
until someone else walks by
with a key
to her heart that will let the walls
crumble back down
and open up, vulnerable
to the outside world
vulnerable to feeling
the pain, hurt, distrust
like she caused other people
not so long ago.
but for now, the wall has been rebuilt
and JG is no longer.
for herself, she comes close to tears,
closing a part of her
that she was just getting to know
but change occurs
and she has to just
let it
go.

enough.

~xox

11.11.o5
season 2!!!
and so now season 2 is kind of within grasp, no? =)) (so desperate it's not funny....)

writing. but some people have found it. but i'm glad that they didn't not tell me about it. so that's good. =) ><" *sigh* ah wellz.

maid in manhattan. jlo. haha. it's amusing. sweet too. =) hehehe. happy feelings. =) hehe. sweetness. =) "the first lunch was a mistake. the second would be complete torture." hehhee. =) "what defines us is how we rise after falling." =) lionel is awesome. =) *chokes* *tear* omg... he just found out... and they're talking... waaaaah. :'( catching tear drops in my hand... you'll be on my mind forever...

awww... it's over.

now better go back to that chinese... ><" *sigh*

~xox

1o.11.o5
scattered excerpts...
i'm back to writing sequel. =) hehe. and thought i'd put some randoms throughout this post..

this was amusing. =) some randoms there...i only got 6/8... *shrug* ah wellz.

She apologised to me too, but I don't know, I just couldn't find the sincerity that I used to try and find so that things could be ok.

ooh. interesting. lol. but if you know it all, you'd know exactly what i'm talking about.

stuff was bludgy today. i hate this weather. hot hot hot. then rain. when i'm walking home. just peachy. ><" *sigh* ah wellz.

things seem weird lately... and i'm not sure why it's making me so... like i am. *sigh*

hey YOU: comment. or tag. one or the other. don't shock me by bringing up stuff in msn convos! =) hehehe. like now!

christmas carols. =) hehe. reminds me of old times. but sad... remembering old christmas parties. and they were every year. and i haven't been for a while. and i still remember singing christmas carols. the spoken: that i never did. hahaha. yeah. awesome fun sometimes. and now... not sure.

Ok. So maybe I kind of built it up into something a little too big for my little heart to take when it didn't come through.

again, if you know me, you should know.

you know what is awesome? beauty and the beast. all i want for christmas... =) hehe.

this is very fragmented... you know what else rocks? grease! pya, do not even comment about this. i already know what you think! hahaa. and save the last dance... or more specifically the song from it. hehe. =) i love it.

OOOH. almost forgot. you want my snapshot of icons that i did during SC procrastination? they're not that good... but enough to satisfy me.

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MB is awesome. =) hehe. sweet + soulful. sometimes. lol. other times just jazz. =) feel good mix. [haha. told you i'm a 106.5 baby.]

this has been long and pointless enough. i'll let you guys go. and 3000 words? nowhere near. *sigh*

but before i leave... [i do NOT mean this, just simply repeating what dulak said this morning.] "i hate eeyore. he's such as ASShole."

that almost comes close to my moo joke! =) hehehe. [admittedly, i cracked up for a bit all into roll call. hehee.]

almost had you... and now i'm destined to spend my life missing you... ~ almost bowling for soup

~xox

o9.11.o5
take a ride to the boardwalk...
playing monopoly with pya. YOU'RE GOING DOWN! *shrug* pause. or maybe it won't be for as long as we expected...

anyway... bludgy day today. maths and english are like... ><" do they honestly expect us to absorb anything?? but damn eco man!! ><" *sigh* ah wellz...

no fair. chris downloaded 3.05!! lol. the script isn't up yet!! =(((( *sigh* i can't even remember what happened the ep before... oh. right. something about ellie yeah? *shrug* ah wellz. i think i'll just rely on pya to tell me when it's up. =) hehe.

anyone want to ask me how my nano is going?? =) hehehe.

jay told me to get lyrics. while i'm there, i might as well post them...

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
~ i will follow you into the dark death cab for cutie

so there you go. lol. so many covers jay! hehe. but awesome stuff. =) acousticy good too. hehe. =)

bowling today. did not so good, but meh. anywayz... better get back to writing... ><" it's not going so well... *sigh*

~xox

o8.11.o5
like al pacino's cash...
gone! and is pure bliss. =)

now i go to visit people. should have before but scary. ><" tis all good now though. =)

anyway... it's all over... and i dunno what to do with myself anymore. workiong on a new layout, trying to nano, and making oth icons. maybe i'll post soime up laterwards... =) hehehe. they're... interesting. love animation pro. or whatever it is. but yeah... *nods*

my newest song obsession? *scrunches face up* hands down shush you! *grumbles* promise matchbook romance... this calls for a lyric post!

What would you say
Would your forget everyone, forget everyhting
And start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Well promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like good bye
And these memories can't replace
These wishes i wish and dreams i chase
Well take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like i've lost everything when you're gone
Left remebering what it's like
To have you here with me
I thought you should know
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please dont, well please dont leave me

...

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go
Promise me, you'll never let go
Never let go, never let go
You'll never let go

Make this last forever

...

I'll fall asleep tonight
Cause that brings me closer to you
~ promise matchbook romance

sweet... =) hehe. anyway, i'm off.

~xox

o7.11.o5
get a hole lot more out of life... LIFESAVERS
or sour skittles... but that's just what floats my boat. hehehe. =) anyway... yeah....

this brief moment of procrastination...

nano is going horrible.

studying is going horrible.

SC? well, it could be worse. like... having to do geo and history tomorrow.

i am so dead.

please excuse me while i go scream in the corner.

ok. back. bye.

~xox

o6.11.o5
and i walk freeeeee
hahaha. i love it when aunty joyce leads. she's so hilarious. and i walk free today was just a reminder of everything that we did... all the effort and all that. *nods*

i want to make an icon that says that i'm a 106.5 girl. =) hehe. listening ot it on the way home from church today, and jewel is awesome. =) hehe.

so my major procrastination of the moment? nanowrimo. tis going to be AWESOME. =) hehe. chick lit meets rich bitch for the 50 billionth time. =) i dunno how it's going to work out though... we'll just have to see. gimme a buzz if you decide to do it and then i'll add you as a friend. or if you just want to see my profile to see how i'm going. =) meh. wth. i'll just post it up here anyway.... here ya go.

so school cert tomorrow, hey? ><" grr... i hate this whole SC idea. it's freaking me out. so hence i should probably be studying, yeah? well... *shrug* history is scaring me with all the extended respoinse questions, for which i have no idea, and same goes for geo. for science i think i'm gonna be ok... i just need to read up on some of last years stuff, like the microbes unit and... the whole universe bit. ><" *sigh* sooo majorly iffed.

so anyway... back to nanowrimo-ing... as of now shortened to nano. =)

~xox

o5.11.o5
words alone can't fix me
but they can always help. writing again. writing just a little bit of everything, and i'm finally updating one of my OLD old stories. =) thanks to that productive session on the bus pya. =) haha.

got this of nick... so you all have to do it. i got 11... see how you go! =) [i made a semi-grahpic thing for it too! ok ok. it's just a print screen but STILL!]

anywayz... sc and it's going ok. not amazing. but it'll do for now.

finished reading all the scripts today! =) they were SOOOO good! SQUEE!!!! so i can't wait to watch second season! hahaha. =))))

anywayz... nothing else to blog. i just have to get back to SC-ing. ><"

~xox

o4.11.o5
< insert love here > is love
icon shopping is so yesterday... *launches into song* now it's colourbars ALL THE WAY! =) hehe. anywayz... i might post some up here laterwards... but they just put the whole layout out of whack.. ><" and i hate that

i'm impressed. matchbook romance sounds like a stupid name. but they're good. =) i thought that they were gonna be screamy and such... but turns out that they're not. =) so i like. muchly. =)

soul today was good. like... yeah. i really think that i should get back to going... *sigh* must remember...

omgoshnes... i swear that sandra bullock has alyssa milano eyes...

anyway.. back to where i was before... power of your love. makes me just... sit back and relax, kind of? just to know that He's there... but *shrug* i dunno... sometimes i forget, i think, and just take it all on board myself...

Because I'm thinking about
a brand new hope
the one I've never known
cause now I know
it's all that I wanted
~ macy's day parade greenday

maltesers are love. =) haha. yeah. someone should make one.

I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free
~ beautiful letdown switchfoot

i've never listened/noticed the words to this properly... they're good. at my SF boys are awesome too. =) "SF" reminds me of savind francesca... THAT boy is awesome too. =) hehe.

almost finished reading season 2...

LUCAS: And Hansel said to Gretel, let us drop these breadcrumbs so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the most cruel of things. This year� I lost my way.

NATHAN: And losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But, losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel.

PEYTON: The journey lasted eight months. Sometimes I travelled alone, Sometimes, there were others who took the wheel and took my heart. But when the destination was reached� it wasn�t me who arrived it wasn�t me at all.

BROOKE: And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely.

MOUTH: Because, sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you�ve been. And remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are.

how true... this year has been crazy. SC and i'm not studying. does this worry me? apparently not...

oh. it's the JEW ep...

All I can say,
I should of said,
Can we take a ride?
Get out of this place,
While we still have time.
~ work jew

man. i am so addicted. hahaha. mouth and erica! haha. cuteness. =) everyone loves mouth. =)

hahhaa. i just found a OTH is love. =) weeee...

OMGOSHNESS!!! HAYLEY IS A COOOOOW! and OMG... JAKE!!! eee...

JAKE: (Desolately) You know, I coulda held you in my arms forever. (Pause) It still wouldn�t have been long enough.

awwwww... =(((( i don't want to watch these last eps... i'm already on the verge of tears... =((( and cried reading another one...

well, it's past 12... so i think i should go to sleep... but READING!!!... when i'm done then. =)

~xox

o3.11.o5
since when was 9 a late night?
late night shopping to look for shoes, but expensive, ugly and waaay to weird. *sigh* ah wellz. i hate shopping.

eco was... good today. i think i'm actually beginning to like it, which is a bit weird. maybe that's just coz i'm actually understanding it now. lol. ><" but yeah. isn't so weird anymore...

since when is nathan doing the literary quotes? huh? stupid... and woah. what did i miss?~!??! PYA!! here... and search for... wife... dan and karen?? huh!??!?!??! oh. ok. i think i get it. AU? yeah? like... that buffy ep where thingy wished buffy had never come to sunnydale?

anywayz. bought some bargain bin singles. =) vindicated, lostprophets and alter bridge. no idea. but they were cheap. =) so yeah... now have an acoustic version of hands down.

anywayz. not much to blog.

~xox

o2.11.o5
no labels?!?
australian princess is such an amusing show. i dunno... it has like... all these random bits. and jackie o is weird in it too, but ah well. some of the stuff sounds so outrageous... elimination time... oooh...

anywayz... something. oh, right. today, wasn't as bad as i had expected it to be. but people seem to have changed. it's interesting, but yeah, i dunno what's going on. it's kind of scary how people can influence other people... and sometimes it kind of worries me. *shrug*

i fall asleep with my friends around me
only place i know, i feel safe
i'm gonna call this home
...
don't it feel like sunshine afterall
the world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are
~ the world we love jimmy eat world

it's been a while since i've done lyrics. watching house... when is the date episode going to be!?!? hum... next week apparently..

scripts! *sigh* ep 13 of season 2... so... emo. =) but brooke's speech was gooood. she replaced lucas' usual literary quote. interesting... and woah. OMG... did it all happen... omg... pya, dez. one of you. get online... NOW! grr.... (obsessed? i'm not obsessed!!) and yay for mouth who saves the day! =) hehehe. you gotta love him.

uh... hello. i have eco homework...

~xox

o1.11.o5
as was said last almost summertime...
summer lovin' had me a blast, summer lovin' happened so fast... awesome grease. =) such a classic movie that. =)

double english today... and this is what i got...

The future, a time so uncertain
Where no one can see what happens.
There are those who claim to see
Through crystal glass balls
And cards with mysterious figures.
Movies show us a future of robotics,
A life full of new scientific discoveries
And cars that fly through the air, like the Jetsons.
Thoughts of world issues: global warming, terrorism.
And what about the end of the world?
Maybe that is our future, and after that
There won't even be a future.
Maybe we should just leave it to our own imaginations,
Form our own ideas of the world to come.
Then maybe the future will laugh at our ideas,
As the world moves on,
The nature of change progressing.
And for me, what does my future hold?
I don't know.
And I think I kind of like it that way.

somewhat bleak... but it's the only thing i've written that i actually semi like...

today was... i dunno. actually on a high. but i reckon that by tomorrow it'll be gone. *sigh* the whole rec sport didn't turn out quite as ok as i thought it would... not that it's BAD... just... it could have been better.

stalker boy? hahaha. =)

~xox