~*^sUgA bAbi^*~

- poemz -
-5/11/03-
i'm missing ur smile,
n even tho were apart by milez,
i ken see ur face,
n im alone in this empty space..

i reallie wanna tell u how i feel
but how can i get the courage to reveal?
the only thing missin in mai lyfe iz u
n i can't stop cryin, im all confused..

how do you feel about meh?
iz this the way it'z alwayz gunna be?
cuz i can't take it anymore..
deep down inside mai hart i have a big sore..

i've waited all year, all night
n i ken no longer see wut'z right..
cuz i feel i've waited too long
but i noe dat waiting any longer iz juss wrong..

cuz i've endured 2 much pain to express in wordz
n i'm living a lyfe dat seemz absurd,
cuz u're not in da picture of mai lyfe
n 2 meh, dat makez everything seem unright...
~tAmMiE

-5/08/03-
wen i thot i didn't care 4 u
my feelings fer u came bak all da way thru.
i'm ready to tell you exactly how i feel
but i need to knoe exactly wut'z real.

do you care for me?
cuz life iz weird, you see?
wen u think u don't care,
it hurtz more to think about sumthin u thot wasn't der..

cuz the feeling i thot waz gone came bak stronger this tyme
n it'z stronger than any other feelingz i've had all combined..
n although u're not who everyone expectz to be,
i've got mai eyez on u n there iz no other dat i see..
~tammie

-5/01/03-
once upon a bright summer day,
i spotted ur smiling face within a small crowd,
n i looked at u w/ dis feelin in sum special way,
as someone yelled ur heart-stirrin' name aloud.

wut exactly was this feeling dat i had 4 u?
cuz wen you walked by, i tried 2 act cool,
but reallie, deep inside, i felt a longing.
i felt that it waz in ur armz dat i belong in.

i felt empty inside and i wanted 2 cry,
cuz even tho i tried 2 get close 2 u,
i felt lyke u juss put me aside.
n now i feel lyke i have no clue
of whether or not i styll like u, n if i do, den why?

do i styll care for you?
iz this relationship really thru?
cuz i reallie want our special relationship 2 start,
cuz even if u dun think u do, u've got mai whole hart
~tammie

-4/23/03-
does anyone ever tell u how lonely i get?
sitting alone watching a beautiful sunset?
to see something beautiful is a beautiful time..
but to see it alone is alone a crime..

im always wanting you to be near..
im wanting you to hold me tight,
hold me close, my dear..
fer lettin u go iz mai greatest fear..

n i really want to keep u,
but im too afraid to lose u
so wut'll i do?
n how am i gunna finally cum thru to u?
-tAmMiE..

-4/15/03-
i wonder if you've ever looked in2 my eyez
to see how many timez i've cried..
wut do you see when u look at me?
do you c a shallow grl smiling bak at u?
or do u see a grl with a difficult life she'z going thru?
to see the real meh, you have 2 look past my face
n look into my heart, to see an empty space..
cuz i'm waitin for u to fill it in
and it'z ur heart that i wanna win..
but if i just grab it, will it hurt?
or should i wait for the feelings to just insert?
because my heart'z telling me i've waited too long
but my mind'z tellin me that if i force it,
my hopez for you and me will all be gone..
-tAmMiE..-

-4/5/03-
i just wanna let out all my secrets unfurled
cuz i know that some day i wont b in this world..
no one lives forever...
n i know that it'z either now or never..
cuz i just wanted u to know how much i care for u
and that if anything ever happenz, ill b there 4 u

but right now, in dis world, im still here
painfully wantin u to alwayz b near..
when will i be able to tell how i feel for u?
how can i tell u that i want u to be my boo?

no matter how i try to show u the truth,
sumthin'z alwayz standin between meh n u..
cuz der's only a gap to tell u how i feel
n i only have 1 chance to tell you what's real..

-tAmMiE ~juss in case anything ever happenz 2 me (like gettin da sars disease), i wanna tell u dat i LuV u...

-3/29/03-
im feelin a litto depressed dese dayz..
n im wantin 2 hold u in many wayz
buh y iz it dat wen i need u da most,
i call out ur name n u're not der?
sumtymez i wunder if u even care..

it hurtz 2 care about u in a special way,
n to get no response in return..
buh yet i styll pray and pray..
that maybe sum dai, u'll understand me..
cuz iun luv u fer ur lookz..
i ken care less..
n i noe dat out of all da guyz in da world, u're da best

buh itz scarez me 2 think
dat even if u got feelinz fer meh,
u're not feelin wut i want u 2 b,
cuz all i eva wanted waz juss fer u 2 alwayz b der 4 meh...

-tHe dEpReSsEd tAmMiE.. i'm wantin a guy dat'll alwayz b der wen im needin him..

.:3/18/03:.
the road to life can b a litto bumpy once in a while
it'z the major test of truth n luv dat extendz a thousand miles..

the problems u face now prepare u 4 problems later on..
n the mistakes u make now can prevent u frum goin wrong..

but no matter wut choices u make, alwayz keep 'em wise
n no matter how much pain u get, u ken alwayz cry..

but wen the final test cumz upon u n u happen 2 b next,
u've only got urself to lean on, w/ no otherz 2 help u..

n now iz all u hav.. w/ no promised 2morrow,
so now'z the tyme 2 trust urself b4 nething else u do..
~by (meh) tammie

::3/14/03:: - title "mai motto.."
wen i don't want it 2 happen,
it happenz 2 meh
ev'rything cumz accidentically..

thingz u try,
juss mite work,
so keep ur hopez high
n never giv up..
cuz no matter how u live lyfe,
time goez by..

so live lyfe 2 da fullest
n follow ur heart
so dat ull never hafta ask urself
"why didn't i..?"

~tAmMiE (aka mEh) - ..dedicated 2 da fact dat lyfe ken b tuff.. but nuthin ken ever defeat da hopez dat u hav in ur heart..

.:3/12/03:.
it hurtz 2 want u w/out havin u
2 think about u on rainy dayz
n wantin u in many wayz..

i mean, lyfe iz hard enuff..
buh livin w/out u makez everything more tuff
n every nite i long 2 b holdin u
but instead i get a heartache 4m thinkin ov u

y doez it hafta b this way?
there'z so many thingz i wanna say..
i wanna tell u everything about meh..
how im wantin u..
how im needin u..

y do we hafta b so afraid?
y iz it dat even tho i wanna tell u,
in da end i can't..
bcuz im afraid 2 lose u if i tell..
~tAmMiE (aka.. mEh)
"lyfe iz hard.. esp wen u noe dat da wun u luv ain't gunna luv u bak.." - meh.. =)

3/6/03
y doez lyfe gotta b so painful
wen az a child everyding waz so simple..
either u were happy or u were not,
but now, growin up iz hard
der'z so many feelinz dat mix up n dun combine..
so many questionz asked but never replied..

n az fer luv, it'z complicating..
sumtymez it helpz u grow
but most tymez, itz so hard,
dere'z a need to let go..
but u'll neva noe wut the other iz feelin,
u'll neva find out da secretz dey're conceilin..

n it'z hard 2 b able 2 hear wut u wanna b told,
cuz da one u luv iz fearing da possibility of bein left cold
but deep down inside both of u
u feel fer each otha buh den u're afraid 2 tell..
~tAmMiE..

.:2/26/03:.
lyfe ken b a pain,
lyke every day u wake iz anotha dai ov rain..
no1 wantz 2 b alone
no1 wantz to b left cold
..but dat'z wut tru frenz r 4
dey're here fer u ferevermore
thru all the good tymez n da bad..

dey're da reason y i wake up each mornin
to face a anotha day ov pain..
n even tho dere'z lotz ov rain,
dey're alwayz der 2 keep meh sane
n wen im needin luv n care
i noe dey'll b da 1st tah hear..

quote i made up 4 it: "sumtymez lyfe ken b so beautiful, u can't believe it.. but other tymez, it ken b so painful.. u juss can't take it nemore...."

~by meh (tAmMiE) - tRuLy fRuM dA hArT - dEdiCaTeD 2 mAi fReNz n written on a rilly bad day fer meh.. but mai frenz were dere, n dat'z all dat matterz.... =)

.:2/8/03:.
i wanna noe..
every nite i long 2 hold u
realizing dat in da end i cant hav u,
spending every moment of mai lyfe waitin fer u
2 cum face 2 face wid meh
confrontin da fear of da possibility
of meh not acceptin u fer who u r..
2 hol ur hand n walk w/ u
cheering u on in everyding u do.

i noe ur feelin wut im tryin tah reveal 2 u
it'z a hard thing 2 do but im sharing it w/ u
so y cant u cum n sho 2 me
wut i ken feel buh ken not c?
im only asking u plz,
2 sho me da luv dat spreadz frum u 2 meh...
~by tAmMiE

.:1/29/03:.
da last tyme i held u
da feelin of u n meh juss fell rite thru
im tellin maiself it cant b tru,
cuz i styll cant b-lieve i fell fer u

i keep askin maiself
"wut should i do?
where do i get dis feelin
dat mai luv fer u juss mite b tru?"

cuz da way i feel juss wun let loose
n i cant live mai whole lyfe
w/out tellin u
how secretly i fell fer u
w/out the courage of tellin u

how i reallie feel inside
n how fer many weekz ive cried
longin 2 hold u in mai armz
n dat instead of sittin lonely at mai window
holdin mai fluffy lil pillow,
i wanna sit holdin
mai preshious litto yOoH..
-by mEh.. w/ <3, tAmMiE..

.:written on 12/14/03:.
wen u were gone
mai whole world turned upside down
cuz wen u were here
u were alwayz der 2 turn it around

wen u came bak
mai world went bak 2 da way it waz at..
n mai hart bgan to thump again..

ur da air i breathe
n w/out u, der wouldn't be meh...

u shine down on me at mai sad tymez
n ur der fer meh so im makin dese rhymez.
wen im missin u at nitez
the emptiness within me bitez

cuz wen ur not around
a part ov me'z styll bound
2 u n it will ferever hold
cuz mai luv fer yooh will alwayz stand bold...
- tAmMiE

.:written on 12/01/02:.
altho i neva told u
im telling u now itz tru
mai hart beatz faster
as closer i cum 2 u

i don't even hafta look
i alreddy noe u're there
n even tho i c u
i pretend dat u're not dere

but surely sumwhere buried
deep within our hartz
iz a new luv 4m meh 2 u
dat slowly beginz 2 start...

-wRiTtEn tRuLy fRuM dA hArT- w/ luv, tAmMiE

wRiTtEn oN : 12/1/02
wen da world turned on meh
u were der 2 comfort meh
wen i was feelin down
u were der to turn dat around
wifout u in mai world
wut would i do?
if i were 2 live w/out u
i'd feel lyke a fool
cuz wen everything iz goin wrong,
ur der to keep me goin on
wifout u, everyding in mai lyfe would b gone
cuz ur all dat matterz
ur da one dat makez life worth livin
n ur da one dat makez me worth bein..
-by meh.. tAmMiE

wRiTtEn oN : 11/19/02
i can't help luving u
every tyme i c u
everything wrong becumz rite,
u take me frum da darkness 2 da lite
i wanna tell u how much i want u
n if i could, i would
but i can't, so i wont..

rite now'z not da tyme
cuz iuno if u reallie want meh
u gotta show meh luv
gotta show meh da ur were sent frum abuv
u gotta show meh care
cuz i noe i wun find better luv anywhere...

-by meh.. tAmMiE =)

wRiTtEn oN : 11/14/02
last week i looked in2 ur eyes
i thot i waz in heaven
da last tyme i heard ur liez,
u noe dat u were trippin

but even tho u hurt me
u noe ill never ferget u
fer all da tymez u helped meh thru
n a whole new world u made meh c

today i looked into ur eyez,
n onlee felt lonliness buried deep within
im sorry but i dont think i ken luv u once again..
i've tried n tried.. ive cried n cried..
buh i juss can't seem 2 trust u w/ a broken hart..
-by meh..

quote dat goez w/ it: "..i'm not supposed 2 luv u, im not supposed 2 care, i'm not supposed 2 live mai lyfe wishing u were there. i'm not supposed to wonder where u r n wut u do. im sorry i just can't help maiself, i fell in luv w/ u.. -unknown"

wRiTtEn oN : 11/6/02
if i think bak at our special tymez
n i remember dat u were mine..
i think of all the possibilitiez..
lyke a day wen we're meant 2 break up..
wut would i do w/out yooh?
how could i live,
wut would i do?
2 tell the truth i don't noe
n neva wanna find out
so imma cherish all da tyme i have left w/ yooh
n hope dat ull b w/ meh mai whole lyfe thru..

-by mEh (tAmMiE)

wRiTtEn oN : 10/29/02
uNtiTLeD.. (=
despite da pain u put me thru
i will keep on luving u
since da dai i laid eyez on u
i just couldn't stop thinkin of u

every time i c u
mai heart skipz a beat
every tyme i hear ur name
i want it 2 repeat

boy u noe u turn me on
n dat'll never change
cuz no matta wut i'll b there for u
no matta wut u do

ur eyez r lyke da starz
ur face iz lyke da sun
n every tyme i look at u,
i noe u r da wun.

-by meh... tammie =)

Da Beginnin 2 Da End
this is da road,
this is the start,
this iz da beginning
where i giv you mai hart

here we stand
im waiting for you
im waiting to live my whole life thru
come to me and wait for me
cuz u noe id so the same for you
-by meh written in jAn '01

- [- DiS bE mE 'n u -] -
Written with a pen
Sealed with a kiss
If u love me plz
Answer me this.
Do u love me? or do u not?
You told me once but I forgot
So tell me now and tell me true
So I can tell u I love you
Of all the boys I ever met
Your the one I won't forget.
If I die before u do
Ill go to heaven and wait for you
If your not there on valentines day
I know u went the other way
Just to prove my love is true
I'll go to hell and be with you.

u'Re mAi eVeRyThIn
YoU mAkE iT a PeRfEcT dAy
YoU aRe ThE mOrNiNg I lOnG fOr,
YoU aRe ThE oNe WhO lIgHtS mY dAy,
YoU eNcOuRaGe My HeArTaChEs To Go AwAy,

YoU aRe ThE rEaSoN i Am LiViNg,
YoU mAkE tHe StOrM cLoUdS cEaSe,
My hEaRt SwElLs WiThIn Me,
As A gLiMpSe Of YoU i SeE,

YoU mAkE mY gRaY sKiEs BlUe,
As YoUr SmIlE iS mY cUe,
It'S sO wOnDeRfUlLy PrEcIoUs,
In YoUr PreSeNcE tO bE,

ThE dAy iS nOw FlEeTiNg,
AnD sOoN wIlL eNd,
NoW i Am ReVeAlInG mY lOvE fOr YoU
nO lOnGeR tO pReTeNd.

So HoLd Me CloSe, My DeAr,
AnD nEvEr LeT mE gO,
I wAnT nO oThEr,
FoR i LoVe YoU sO!

nOw u NoE eVrYtHiN aBoUt mEh
If I tOlD yOu I lOvEd YoU,
wOuLd YoU pUsH mE aWaY? oR
wOuLd YoU lEt Me FaLl InTo YoUr ArMs,
WhErE, fOrEvEr, I wOuLd StAy?

If I tOlD yOu I nEeDeD yOu,
WoUlD yOu FeEl ThE sAmE?
cOuLd yOu LeT mE nEeD yOu EvErYdAy,
FoReVeR aNd EtErNiTy?

If I tOlD yOu I hAtEd YoU,
wOuLd YoU bElIeVe ThE wOrDs I sAy?
WoUlD yOu TuRn YoUr BaCk On Me
AnD lEaVe Me AlOnE tO pRaY?

iF i ToLd YoU i WaS cRyIn',
WoUlD yOu Be RiGhT bY mY sIdE,
tO pUt YoUr ArMs ArOuNd mY sHoUlDeRs
UnTiL tHe FeElInGs PaSsEd Me By?

If I tOlD yOu EvErYtHiNg,
CoUlD yOu StIlL fEeL tHe SaMe?
NoW tHaT yOu KnOw ExAcTlY wHo I aM,
wOuLd YoU sTiLl Be MiNe To ClAiM?

iF i ToLd YoU...

LuViN u W/ nO rEtUrN
dA sKy wuZ dArK
dA rain still here
but yet so clear
r da wrds shown here:

"I luved you
But u dun luv meh.
A year passed by,
'n to luv u i still try."

bUt nOw, dA sKy iSh bLuE
aNd dErE's nO wAy i kEn sTiLL LuV u
Another year passes by
So now I don't try
And now you luv me
but i hate you.

The way u made me feel
wen I looked at u
felt so real
felt so tru

but now dat i noe u
i feel like a foo
cuz u didn't luv me
wen i luved u
-by meh

-::Cryin in dA NiTe::-
I hate u
for dA way u make me feel,
for all dA thingz u put me thru.
All nite 'n day i longed for u
but den u made me promise u
dat i wouldn't even think of u.

even though i tried
u made me wanna cry
4 da feelins wouldn't pass me by
n i wished dat u were by mai side

so dat i could tell u
dat mai luv 4 u was tru
n dat i ken neva 4get u....

"it only takes a min to hav a crush on sum1, an hr to like sum1, and a day to luv sum1, but a lifetime 2 4get sum1..."

- | all poemz �~*^sUgA bAbi^*~ | -