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| The memories keeped flowing now. Every once in a while she was able to stop and think in her head of what she thought of these memories. He was there. Always there. He hurt her the more then any one ever had. She didn't know why. Every thing was suppose tobe pretend right? RIGHT?! She mentally screamed. She started to feel dirty. The filth consumed her. She started to hear it's voice. "See? See what things you've done? Your a horrible, horrible person. Not fit to live on this earth. Your suppose to feel this way, it's your punishment for allowing it to happen. It's all your fault. EVERYTHING is your fault! You need to stop this pain. Just one slit down the arm. It won't hurt. I promise you, it won't hurt. Your be safe with me, and then pain will stop. Com'n. Just one slit. That's all it will take and then it will all go..." The voice sounded to nice, comforting, and gentle. Despertly she wanted to believe it. Do what it told her to... but she didn't have anything to do what it said with.... suddenly small razor appeard in her hand. So nice. Shiny. Clean. Umbleshed. Should she use it? Half of her was screaming to use it. The other part was screaming not to. Which part did she listen to. Her past started to consumer her all over again while she thought about it. Her arm hurt her. Every thing hurt. They always stopped as soon as they heard some one comeing. Never could tell. It would be bad to tell. But it was a game.Why are games suppoes to be bad? None of the other games she had done were bad. She was always able to tell some one about it. But not this. Who told her not to tell? Or was it just her imagination? When ever she thought about it years later, she thought about it as if it was something in her life that she had done. She had done it. Not him. He didn't hurt her at all. It was allllllll her fault. Her idea. All of it was her fault. But why? She didn't know.. was it her fault? was it her idea? She felt as if some one had gone into her head and deliberlty messed up her memories. Just so it would be to painfull to remember. Another boy was in her head, but this was a man she had loved. Loved him so much, but yet he had hurt her. Why had he hurt her? She could still feel him holding her under the water untill she stopped struggiling. Feel the marks were she had been hit. She never understood why he would allow others to touch her. Especially when he knew how much those things had botherd her. She rememberd coming home one day, and having to tell her mom that one of the bruises had been from getting hit from a ball. Her legs were black and blue, and so was her arms, stomack and back. They had been playing around. Wresiling. He had gotten mad, cuz she was actually doing a prettyg good job. So he had wanted to prove that he was stonger... and it had gone out of controlle. Another time, they had been in the pool, he had gone after his brother, wanted to punch him in the head, the kid was only like 7 years old, and no matter how obnoxious he was, she still wasn't going to allow the boy to get hurt, she grabbed him and pulled him behind her, the brother got angry, and grabbed her by both her wrist and pushed her up against the wall of the pool, pinning her. Telling her never to do something like that again. He held her wrist so hard that they hurt. She laughed it off. Like it was a joke. The thing was.. it wasn't a joke. It was real, and it botherd her. Couldn't let any one see that thought. Held it all in. Thought that he cared about her, but when she thought about it, she was just one of his possesions. Never ment anything to him. She let him do what ever he wanted, becuase she loved him, and felt that he would keep her safe, and loved her back. If only he got what he had wanted. He had gotten all most everything.. but what if she had let him go that finiall way, maby he would have stayed. Maby he actually would have loved her. It was a stupid thought though cuz she knew that he never really would. So many memories. And all of them scared her. She couldn't take them any more. They hurt just to much. She started to scream out loud for them stop, her guardian appeard. "Have you come to grips?" "Yes.." was the quite, simple reply. "Good, I was going to take you into your dreams,like my master had wanted me to, but I'm not sure if we have time. It's running out, and quickly. Instead, I'm going to quickly take you into the room of futur, and then return you. I'll expalin about the dreams once we have left." "Ok." She couldnt' say much more. She was in to much pain to say anything else besides just a simple answer.It felt as if some one had been choking her. Her body could feel the bruises like they had just happend yesturday. "Good, I am glad you agree." The room around her changed. They were in a simple, white room, with nothing in it. IT was bare. "This is your futur. If you choose to continue your life the way you are now, you will not have a life to live. You will die, by your own hands, no one will mourn your death, cuz no one ever cared about in to begin with. But if you have truly come to grips with your past, and you truly want to live, you will, you will live the life your Father has given you. You can use your life to help others.Close your eyes." Doing as she was told a sharp pain penitrtated her skull.'' Do you feel that? " "Yes..." That is only a little bit of the pain you would have felt if you had listend to what that voice had told you to do.Don't ever listen to it. It's eveil!" "Ok....... i'll try..." The women looked at her. Disaproval spreading on her face, becuase she knew that the girl, wouldn't hold out much longer against that. Knowing that there wasn't much more this room could offer the child, she decided it was a good time to go. Taking her hand they once again asended into the sky. Deciding to make one more stop before returning to the forest.. Sitting high above the castle, fields, garden, and caves, the guardian waved her arms toward the far west. Indicating for the girl to look in the direction. "Do you see that?" unsure of what she was suppose to see, she asked what she was looking at. " The clouds! Do you see those clouds?" Yes, they were dark. Only thunderclouds though. Nothing to worry about. She voiced her opion verbally. " Nothing to worry about? Dear child. Those are not just storm clouds. That is evil. Pure evil. It is coming for you, That is why we are leaving sooner then expected. It doesn't want you to find out the thruth about your life. It wants you to live in doubt. Do you understand that? If you want to get better, you must realize the truth.' You shall now the truth, and the truth shall set you free.' That is the only way your get out of that forest. The only way you will live a normal life. Once you accpet defeat though.....once you denie everthing, then that evil owns you. Controlles you. You can NOT continue to denie your past like you have been for so long.That darkness.... it wants your soul..... " With that said. She took her hand, and the sky disappeard. Every thing started to fade... |
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