The girl stayed with the wolf pack for a few days, content with playing with the cubs during the day, which was also her source of happyness. She sleeped out side at night if it was warm. She didn't like staying in the cave. Even though it gave her a peacfull feeling, she didn't like it for the soul reason that when ever she enterd the cave the wolfe asked her if she would abide by his rules,which she would have to agree to do if she wanted to come in. She didn't have a problem with obeying the rules, if only she knew what they were. He never told her, this seemed strange to her, and confussed her even more. If he wanted her to abide by the rules, why didn't he just tell her what they were. This troubled her.
One night when it was raining very heavily out side, and she was seated next to the fire,were the fish caught that day was cooking. She decided to ask him about it the issue of rules. " Why do you make me agree to follow rules, when you never tell me what those rules are?" With out looking at her he answerd "For two reasons.
1) it is a test to see if you are willing to listen if we feel the need to have you listen and
2) there are things in this cave that you have not yet discoverd, and when you do, you will need to listen carfully, and not disobey even for a second or else you will be destroyed. There will be nothing I could do to prevent it, because you had agreed, and the power that you will find is more powerfull then any that I posses." Starteled by this new twist in things, she asked "Why would I be destroyed?"
" Beacuse of you disobediance, and bcause the power that would kill you is the power that has been beckening you for years. It is after you. Wants your soul, and will look for an opening to do so, and when it finds that opening, you will be taken." "Why does it want me?" "Beacuse it likes to hurt people for a hobby. It wants to take you into an everlasting life full of pain. It is called hell if you are not sure of what I'm talking about."
"Oh.......is there a way to prevent this from happening?" "Yes." "Can you tell what it is?" "You must give your life over to God." "But i've done that!" She exclaimed! "Yes you might have done that, which means you can not go to hell, but it can make your life a living hell on earth if you allow Satam to rule instead of Abba. It will be almost like the everlasting pain you would recieve if you were not coverd by His blood." The girl was unsure of what to say. She knew she had been saved, but she also knew that she had done many terrible things in her life, and did not feel as if He could possibly love her or want her in His kingdom. The wolf , knowing what she was thinking said " He loves you, and nothing you ever do will make Him stop loving you. " Her responce was quite, alsmost like a childs voice " I wish I could believe that." With that she got up and went out side to think.
Once out side, away from the others, she sat by the falls. A light drizzel was coming down. Her eyes started to fill up with water, but instead of letting the tears fall she rolled her fist up into a tight ball and put them up to her eyes. Closing her eyes tightly , so that the tears wouldn't start. She didn't like tears, To her, even thought she knew that they weren't tears of weekness , she felt as if they were. When others cried, so felt that was ok, but for her, It wasn't ok to cry. They, her friends had raised her that way. If she cried it ment that all the people that wanted to hurt her, wanted to make her fall, and week, had won. She couldn't allow them to win, and so the only defence that she had against them was her tears. Her tears would be how they would tell if they had won. They had won so many times before, she just couldn't allow them to win. Not again...
She despertly wished that she could belive what the wolfe said, but she couldn't. How could God ever
forgiver her for what she had done? She had destroyed His temple. His body, she had scared. So how,
could He love her? The wanting for Him to love and forgive her was so great so was almost tempted to believe the wolf. But something held her back. She felt it. Was it her heart? She thought so. In her mind she knew God would forgive her, but in her heart....... she didn't have a chance. Her heart started to acke for the love that she wanted, but the love that she wanted was a love she had felt so long ago. It was un-like any love she had ever felt on earth. It was love from her heavenly Father. In the back of her mind she vaguly remember feeling a love like that from a family that had spent time with her, showing her scriputer, helping her... She wished that she could go back to that family. They had made her feel so safe. But now...she just felt vulnerable, used by friends, hurt, and an emptyness deep down in her soul that would not leave her alone. She wanted to get out of this world. Out of this house. She didn't want to stay with the wolves any longer. More then anything she just wanted to find her angel, find out the reason why she was called here, and then left. That was what she wanted.
Starting to rock back and forth to try to calm her self down, she hardly noticed the mist that started to rise up around her. Only when the rain started to come down harder did she look up and to her surprise there, stood her guardian angel.
when it was blond, but it was flowing gently in the breeze . For some reason when ever the women appeard there was a breeze . The mist rose up around her, as if it was almost part of her. The birds flew to her as if they had found a long lost friend, and sung with joy. The girl was delighted to see her again and almost hugged her, but reframed from doing so. "Your back! Why didn't you come sooner?" The women slowly walked towards her, cradeled her face into her hands, looking her directly into her eye. " I warned you that it was unwise for you to stay alone, beacaus of your disobience I could not attend to you until you truly wanted my help. Now that your heart does want my help, I have come back. But I tell you now, if you disobey again, I will not be back. Is that clear?" The girl looked her for a moment, and then quitly said " Yes, mame, it's clear."
