| Everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby Only I knew about this place. It was a small nitch in the corner of the stadium, a forgotten room that had a view of Las Vegas in all it's glory and unused janitor equipment. I usually came here to study when I needed some place quiet or just a place to get away from it all. But today it was my refuge. Slamming the door, I slid down it until I hit the floor, bringing my knees to my chest, burying my face in them. 'I can't cry,' I told myself even as a few tears had begun to travel down my cheeks. 'I want to get away from here, from you...but I can't...' "Goddamnit!" I screamed outloud, sobs finally overtaking my will, racking my body with the force of my heartache. A hawk called from outside as it flew past and I ran my hands through my hair which was a mess, ponytail long forgotten. 'I wish I had wings...then I could fly away from all this...' And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me. I guess I need you baby... Grissom awoke from his sleep with a start, surrounded by the paperwork the littered his desk. "Natasha..." I whispered softly, the sounds of the surrounding crime lab distant, muffled. 'It was so real...' I blinked, sitting up, rubbing my hands across my face. 'I don't dream...are you trying to tell me something?' "Grissom..." a voice said from the doorway and I looked up to see Sara, face conserned. "Grissom, we need to talk." Closing my eyes, I nodded but barely heard her. 'I can't forget her...I have to...I don't want to do this...' I drug my eyes open and stared at my co-worker and on again-off again lover. 'Sara...I have to let you go...this time, I think for good...' I make believe That you are here. It's the only way I see clear I didn't make it to practice, I fell asleep in the small and dingy room, alone. When I awoke, I walked down to my coach, making apologies that he waved off. "You look like crap, Steward," he observed and I shrugged. "What else is new?" I answered. After a few minutes, I left his office with the order to take a week off, that I was needed for the rest of the season, that preseaon wasn't that important. Sighing, I opened the door to my apartment, falling onto my couch, not even bothering with the bed. 'How long has it been since I've slept?' I wondered. 'Really slept; not cried myself to sleep for someone I can never see again...never touch again.' What have I done? You seem to move uneasy Same day the next week, Grissom was on campus again, walking the same path he had taken before, only to see the object of his desire and advoidance. But it wasn't the same person he had seen before. There was a shuffle to her step, a stoop to her short, powerful frame. Natasha's eyes stared off into nothingness as she walked, oblivious to the world around her. A baseball hat covered the untamed mess that was her hair. I stopped again, sitting on a bench this time, placing my notes on the ground. 'Have I done this?' I thought, rubbing a hand across my forehead. 'Does she even know what I feel for her? Does she even remember 4 months ago?' As she disappeared into a building, I stood, walking past a group of students who were talking. "Natasha can't come to practice for the next week too," a blonde girl said and her shorter counterpart shook her head. "What's up with her? It's like she's...I don't know, fading away from reality," she replied. As I hurried away, one of the other girls added, "I think Natasha's heart sick..." before I was out of earshot. Setting my jaw, I pushed on. "This isn't happening," I told myself as I pushed the door into the lecture hall. "All of this isn't real..." Next |