I wouldn't have a place to learn Satanic values if it wasn't for Lil' Devils Daycare.  My mommy and daddy work long hours trying to corrupt the souls of Christians.  They work on wall street.  They used to just lock me in a room full of rotting carcases and Republican literature and I had to learn Satanism on my own.  Now I have Lil' Devils Daycare to teach me the virtues of selfishness, lying, cheating, civil rights violations, laissez-faire economics, taking advantage of the poor, killing innocent Iraqi civilians, executing people, and maintaining a high profit margin at all costs.  Thanks to George W. Bush's aid to faith-based organizations, my parents were able to save up enough money to buy me a brand new bicycle.