Meeting Jeff Varner
Well this is a pretty long story so yall should pull up a chair and make some popcorn. LOL I wanna include as many details as I can remember (with the help of a few other people & my trusty journal, this has turned out to be a pretty in-depth story). My goal with this is to make everyone feel as if they were there too, don't know if I'll succeed at that or not, but I'm gonna try! LOL I'll start at the begining. As everyone knows I'm a big fan of Survivor. It's a weekly ritual with me and a few of my friends, we sit around and watch it, then debate over it. This year, my favorite contestant from day one was Jeff. I liked him because he was so damn funny. And when he made those gagging noises at Tina to make her throw up, that just endeared him to me forever. LOL Coz that's something I might do! In any case, when he got booted off the show, I started going to Jeff's official website www.survivorjeff.com and posting on his message board. Then I started chatting with some people from that board and we all got along amazingly! I kept going back and going back, by the end of March we were all chatting pretty much every day. Everyone had such similar personalities and so much in common, just awesome. {:o) Then during the first week of April, they posted the link to the chat on Jeff's message boards and what do you know, Jeff came in to chat! I wasn't there, but the good people of the chat let me know that Jeff would be in Pittsburgh April 10th at a few different Pontiac car dealerships (they were having auditions for Survivor 3). Jeff filled us in with all the details of when and where he'd be appearing. Since that was only a few days before Jeff's birthday, some of the other people from his site (Lynn, Marsha, & DJ) sent presents for him, which I gladly agreed to deliver. {:o) Jeff came in and chatted with everyone a few more times over the next week. They let him know that I was bringing birthday gifts on their behalf. Myself, my mother, and my younger brother all went to Wexford (a suburb of Pittsburgh, it's where Christina Aguilera is from) to see Jeff. We arrived at the dealership a little early, so we waited around. They were giving out free hot dogs and Pepsi (that tasted suspiciously like motor oil). We started talking to a car dealer named John Bender, and I kept saying lines from "The Breakfast Club" to him. He had absolutely no idea what I was talking about and I'm pretty sure he thought about calling security on me. LOL I explained that I was repeating lines from a film (John Bender was the character name of Judd Nelson in that movie, the cool, badass dude), he still had no idea what I was saying. You'd think he would hear that alot, coz everyone's seen "The Breakfast Club" right?? We talked to that dude for a while about Azteks and Survivor and next thing ya know, we see a red Pontiac Aztek pull into the parking lot. There's Jeff, in the passenger side, talking on his cell phone. LOL Typical. We didn't want to run over and rush him or anything, so we all walked back to the car so I could get my camera. By the time we got back, Jeff was sitting inside the showroom. There was absolutely no one there! He was at a table in the corner all by himself, coloring his name on a yellow, plastic Easter egg with a marker. LOL I walked over to him and he said "Hi." Then I introduced myself as "the infamous Lilac." It took him a brief second for it to click in, then he was like "Oh my God!" He jumped up out of his seat and gave me a BIG hug. He kept asking how I was and saying that it was good to finally meet me. He couldn't have been nicer. I was a little concerned that he would think I was a weirdo, but that wasn't the case at all. He asked about my stomach injury (he remembered that from the chat), I was too embarrassed to explain to him that I tripped over my cat and made a four inch wound on my lower abdonmen with hair cutting scissors. LOL I just said "Oh don't ask! But it's feeling alot better, thanks." I asked how he was. He said very tired and that he was travelling nonstop and had picked up a sinus infection. Right from the get go he started asking about his presents. "Where are the presents." "I wanna see these presents." "Should I be scared?" "Am I gonna be embarassed?" "Can I open them here?" LOL He must have asked a dozen questions about the freakin presents! That reminded my of a little kid at Christmas time. Jeff gives off this really positive vibe and has a real child-like wonder to him. You can tell he's just a little kid at heart. So cute. {:o) We talked about Pittsburgh. He told me that he was going to have dinner with Amber that evening. I asked if she was buying. He laughed. He asked why there weren't more people at the dealership. He said that he had been to one dealership already, and there were at lot more people at that one. He also asked if I was going to try out for the show. I told him that I'd really love to, but I can't until I'm 21. But when I do get on the show, I'm winning the million! {;o) We also talked for a little bit about some of the other Survivors and his appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell's Show. He said he might be going back on it sometime and that she was going to help him auction off the coloring books for charity. He also talked about the car Rosie gave him and how shocked he was. He told me he was starving and that he hadn't eaten anything all day. I told him they were giving hot dogs away at the other end of the lot and that there was a Wendy's across the street. I started joking around, talking really loudly and going "God, you drag this guy around all day and don't feed him! Would someone get Jeff a hot dog!" LOL I'm retarded. Any chance to make a scene...LOL We warned him not to drink the pop, that it tasted like Quaker State. There were other people in the showroom by that time, a couple trying out for the show and others that were on the second floor in offices looking down and pointing. I kept making faces at them, coz I'm weird like that. hehe We started talking again and Jeff pulled out two packages of M&M's from his bag, one crispy and one peanut. He was like, "Here have some M&M's, what kind do you want?" I said that I wanted the peanut ones and he was like, "You can have the crispy." I said, "I don't want the crispy." LOL He kinda cocked his head sideways at me and grinned then he poured me a handful of peanut ones. That was precious, he's starving and he shares his favorite M&M's with me, honestly, how cute is that? LOL I almost choked on the candy. hahaha Smooth. I told you I'm retarded. It wasn't from nerves or anything, I'm a really laid back person, and even if I had been nervous, Jeff was so warm and friendly that it wouldn't have even mattered. Trust me, if you ever meet him, he'll put you at ease immeadiately. He's extremely easy to talk to. You won't be nervous at all. He smiles alot, and has a really cool sense of humor too (and that laugh, which sounds even better, and more sinister LOL in person). Just a nice personality and all-around nice guy. In any case, back to the story, he started asking about the presents again. He was pretty anxious to get them. I went out to the car to get the cards and presents, I also grabbed a drink and my People magazine Survivor edition that I had brought for him to sign. When I got back to the showroom, a few other people were there. He was talking with a young kid (hahaha I'm one to talk, he didn't look too much younger than I am, he was prolly 16 or so). This kid had blonde highlights in his hair and Jeff was joking with him that their hair matched. The kid seemed pretty nervous at first but it didn't take him very long to compose himself and ask for a picture and an autograph on a Survivor t-shirt. While Jeff was signing it he told the kid, "I better not find you selling this on Ebay, coz if you do I want half." LOL The kid told Jeff about how his mother let him skip school to come meet him. LOL Cool mom. She was pretty quiet, she mostly just stood there, then she took a picture of her son and Jeff next to a big Survivor sign. The kid shook Jeff's hand and left. A 40-ish woman walked up and gave Jeff some coloring books for his charity. She also seemed really nervous at first, her hands were even shaking! He thanked her and told her that he really appreciated it. He also said that something like 17 Girl Scout troops in North Carolina were collecting coloring books and crayons for his charity as well. Then two 20-something girls came in. They auditoned in the morning and wanted to say hi, so they talked to Jeff for a while. I didn't pay attention to what they were saying coz I was talking to one of the guys that was overseeing the auditions. I know at one point Jeff asked the one girl, who was chewing gum, if she had another stick. She gave him one, he thanked her, then crumpled up the wrapped and threw it right at my brother, hitting him directly in the face. LOL Jeff laughed like a maniac. hahaha He really does have an evil laugh! (He's the devil! I knew it! LOL) He's not around us more than 15 or 20 minutes, and he's already picking on my brother. hahaha I love it! After talking to the girls, he came over and asked us to wait for a few minutes coz he wanted to help a couple people with their auditions. A bleach blonde lady wrote Jack Daniels down as her luxury item. She explained that you could use it to fuel the fire or have a drink when people get you stressed. Jeff was pretty amused at that. She also said that if she got selected for the show she'd like to move in to Jeff's house to train. He laughed and was like, "Yeah, sure, how's next week sound?" LOL He told her that she should use very desciptive words on her application to describe herself. He said that's one of the most important parts of the application. She suggested the word "agile" and he said, "Yeah, wait..." then he asked me, "What's that mean? Quick & flexible, right?" I said ya something like that. After that lady got up to tape her audition, he was like, "OK where's these presents?" LOL He asked if I knew what they were (ya) and could he open them right there (don't see why not). He opened the various presents to much amusement. He knew right away who sent which gifts, remembered things that were said on the message boards and he even remarked that he had seen Marsha's picture, and asked if I knew how old she was, whatever that means. *ahem* LOL Luv ya Marsha! Anyways, they were mainly gag gifts, rice, peanut butter, key chains, a crappy CD with terrible music on it (not to mention any names LOL). He read our wacky card and it made him laugh, he said, "Yall are funny." LOL We also made donations to his charity and someone (Lynn, you rock!) gave him a "Wild Thornberries" coloring book, almost the exact same coloring book he had in the outback, and that psyched him out. He was like, "Oh my God!!!!! This is it, this is the same one I had! No wait, it's a little bit different. Oh wow!" He eagerly leafed through the book. He told me that almost everyone colored in his book and that he asked that after he left that everyone would continue to color in it. He told me that Kimmi would color every picture with a turtle in it, coz she loves turtles. My brother cracked, "She loves turtles? Well, I love chickens." Jeff went to say something, then realized what Chris said and busted up laughing. He high fived Chris and said, "Geez yall are funny," again. LOL Thanks Jeff. Back atcha! Jeff also said that Rodger spent alot of time coloring and that he had no real concept of colors, he'd make purple hair and green skin LOL things like that. Jeff said he liked coloring the pictures with the teenage girl in them (to anyone familiar with the series "The Wild Thornberries," she's the one with the curly hair combed over half of her face) becoz he thought she looked "funky." He loved all the presents, but he was really enthused over that book. {:o) It was cute the way his face lit up. LOL I wish yall could have seen it. Still kicking myself for not bringing my camcorder. In any case, he hugged me again and thanked me for the presents. I asked him what he was planning on doing for his birthday and he said that he was going to Alisha's house and that her mom was baking him a cake. I don't remember everything we talked about. I know that we talked more about Survivor. He said that he was upset he got kicked off when he did, he wanted to do more suffering and go through the worst of it. He went out there to challenge himself and come out of it a stronger person. He also mentioned that he heard they (don't know who he meant, exactly. CBS? Mark Burnett??) were talking about doing a Survivor-type show for kids, but that it was just talks (in other words, only an idea they were considering). A couple people were taping auditions and Jeff got up and helped them out by appearing in their tapes. Then he sat back down and started talking about his own audition process. He said that his tape was 12(?) segments that he had spliced together. It was mainly him just talking. He also showed himself in a bunch of different "looks." He said it was very basic, and at one point he was even spinning around in a circle to take up time. LOL I have no idea whether or not he was kidding so don't ask me. {:o) He grabbed my Survivor magazine and started flipping through it. He signed every single picture of himself in the book (excuse me, he missed one photo at the back, damn him! LOL) nine total. As he was going through looking for pictures to sign, Jeff grumbled something about Richard Hatch, then asked if I would mind if he wrote over Kimmi's face in one picture. I said, "No, please do!" He laughed. He also groaned at the sight of himself in the magazine. "Oh no, these are my fat pictures." I said, "No, no, no, you looked good." He said, "Ugh! Look at that gut! I'm gonna sign over it." I was like, "Knock yourself out!" LOL He also stopped at a picture of Alicia, one of her body building shots. He said, "Wow! Look at Alicia. Doesn't she look pretty?" My brother was like, "She's so hot! Say 'hi' to her for me! And Elisabeth. And Amber." {;o) Jeff said Alicia is a really cool person. After he got done signing my magazine, he started writing a note for us on one of the little cards they gave him (it's like a 4x6 card, with one of his CBS promo shots on it & the Survivor 2 logo). He wrote, "Thanks for everything. You're AWESOME!" awww {:o) Thanks! Earlier, I had told Jeff that I was originally going to bring three of the kids I babysit with me to meet him because they were big fans of him and the show, but they wouldn't behave for me so I didn't bring them. He also wrote them a little note that said "BE GOOD!" and told me to use it for collateral the next time I watched them. By that time we had been there about 40 minutes or so. Jeff took a picture with my mom and Chris in front of the big Survivor sign. Then he moved the sign over towards the windows and the two of us sat down on the window sil to take a couple pictures. We chit chatted a bit more, but it wasn't long before we had to leave. Jeff said, "Thanks so much for coming. I don't know what I would have done the whole time if yall weren't here." He also thanked us for the birthday gifts and asked if I knew the e-mail addresses for the other people that gave him gifts. So I wrote them down for him and he asked me to say thanks to them in case he didn't get a chance right away. He also wished my brother a happy birthday (they both have the same birthday, April 16th). My mom said her second thing of the day, which was, "It was great to meet you." Until that point, the only time she ever opened her mouth was to offer to get Jeff some food. Later she admitted she was too shocked to say anything. See, I hadn't told her what we were doing beforehand. She thought we were just going down to talk to the people that were auditioning for the show. LOL Let's just say she was kinda caught off guard by it all. She really enjoyed meeting him too. {:o) Jeff told me to e-mail him the pictures when they got developed and asked if he could use one for his site. I said, "Are you kidding? Of course." I told Jeff to be on the look out for Lezlie and he said that he hadn't seen her yet but was looking forward to it. I said to say "hi" to her for me. {:o) Right before we were supposed to leave, they brought Jeff a hot dog with mustard and relish on it (I think, at least that's what it looked like to me). He took a few bites, then we told him we had to go. We took one more picture, of him giving me a hug. hahaha Ya I know, lucky bitch. {;o) As I was leaving he kept thanking us for coming and to tell the others "thank you" as well and that he appreciated everything. Just as I left he hugged me again and gave me a little high five and a handshake and told me to take care and that it was nice meeting us. I said the same. Overall, it couldn't have been a nicer time. We probably spent around 45-50 minutes there and a good majority of that time we were talking to Jeff. As I said before, he was so easy going and funny. No problem carrying on a conversation with him, it was just like talking to an old friend. He's got a great, charming personality and seems like the kind of charasmatic person that, when he walks in, he just lights up the room. I can't really explain it, but he's got an energy that you can just sense. He's just a normal person without the slightest hint of arrogance. After I got home, I promised everyone in the chat room that I'd give them all the details. So my brother helped me remember as much as possible. I just wish everyone could have been there too! I felt guilty that they weren't able to meet him. {:o( Some day guys! When I got my pictures developed I e-mailed them to Jeff and he put one on his site in the Pittsburgh section and wrote about being in Pittsburgh on his message boards (thanks again Jeff, you're too nice! {:o). In the Pittsburgh section, the first picture is of the aforementioned Lezlie, who is a total sweetheart! She also loved meeting Jeff. You can read about her experience here and here on the message boards. She also made a webpage so you can view the photos of her & Jeff - Page 1 - Page 2 - Page 3 (my fave, look at his smile!). She got a kiss though, and that made the front page of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette (click to read the article and see the photo), but I'm not gonna hate on her, she's too "precious" for that. {:o) LOL I also posted a brief recap of my meeting with Jeff on his message boards. Alot of people e-mailed me or asked me what he was wearing. Well, to the best of my memory, he had on a dark navy blue Reebok t-shirt, blue jeans, Reebok sneakers, a red jacket (which he had tied around his waist most of the time), his silver thumbring, a blue tribal-type necklace, and sunglasses on top of his head. Also people asked me what he smelled like, and, well, I didn't exactly run up and sniff him or anything. I'm weird but that's just ummm creepy. All I could say was that whatever it was, it smelled good. I chatted with Jeff not too long after that in the chat room and I asked him that question. He said that he usually doesn't wear cologne, but the day he met myself and Lezlie, he was wearing Armani and that he sometimes wears Vetever (sp?). Okay, that's pretty much it. Thanks to everyone for making that happen and to Jeff for being such a nice guy. I wish him all the best. You rule! {:o) ~Lilac~
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