Hello, us again! Well, let's see what we got here tonight! Weapons, weapons, weapons! My expertise...that is of course, after the ladies...rowr...
Yeah! We return to kick some butt! Please, please kill me after this?
Stop that! We're only back because everyone else was partying so hard and I was at home playing magic cards with my little brother, Little Eugene! And you were trying to kill yourself. To no avail! Sucker! Nge! You're such a loser that you can't even kill yourself!
ARGHH!!! I'LL PICK UP THIS 'FANDANGO' WEAPON AND I'LL KILL YOU FIRST!!!
LightSoul: Eugene and Roger deem Ashley the winner of the first round!
Well, Ark's special slashes are like, so uncool compared to super magic playing Eugene's goblin artefacts. I will grant him twenty Eugene points out of a possible 1 billion. But only super magic playing Eugene is capable of that.
Nge.
Ashley's like...chaining and stuff is pretty cool. Plus, he kills big goblins and stuff.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT GOBLINS!!!
C'mon Eugene...keep a steady, clear head...I sure hope this is a mana card that I'm drawing...YES!!! You're in trouble now! Welcome to asswhupsville! Population: YOU!
I hate my life. And I hate you more. SUPER ARK MIRACLE ATTACK!!!
LightSoul: Eugene and Roger deem Ark the winner of the second round!
Hmm...Ashley's tormented memories serves as quite a thriller in this thrilling tale of thrilled people getting the thrills of their lives. Ark is a noble dude who gives life to the world, ya'll. Ai yi yi yippee yo yippe yay, Eugene says Ark rocks da day!
Well...I guess...but...
BUT NOTHING! NOW BOW BEFORE ME! KISS THE FEET OF SUPER MAGIC CARD PLAYING EUGENE!
............
LightSoul: Eugene and Roger deem Ark the winner of the third round!
The stupid NAME round again? I swear, Roger, once we get through this one, I am seriously going to kill you. Just kidding. Ashley Riot...that's cool...but ARK...Now there's symbolism, man!!!
What do you mean you're just kidding!? ARRGHHH!!! And Ashley's last name is sort of symbolic...I mean...when he fights, riots ensue...and he reduces his enemies to ash. Heh heh...NAME ROUND RULES!
Puh-lease! You're just saying that because you want your BOYFRIEND Ashley to win!
I......I......
LightSoul: Eugene and Roger deem Ark the winner of the fourth round!
Ah, yes...once again we stand in Eugene 'stud muffin' McNerd's field of expertise...the ladies...Ark's chicks don't stand a chance against that hot mama Callo Merlose. In the immortal words of Kenneth 'Silk' Hayes of Hang Time..."Baby shake that thang, baby shake that thang..."
You didn't think that Elle was sexy? I thought she was hot buttered!
Hot buttered!? Hee hee snort! What are you, like eleven? The word is hot like fiya, Eugene is your messiah, come on I will take you higha no, I am not a liar!
You crack monkey.
LightSoul: Eugene and Roger deem Ashley the winner of the fifth round! Congratulations! How do you feel, Ark, you won!!!
Ark: What the...? The last thing I remember was that I was on the john...and then someone hit me on the back of the head!
LightSoul: Wanna know why?
FOR BATTLE!!!
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