~Me~

I was brought up by my parents in a small kampung in Kedah. You could access Suka Menanti by crossing the Kedah river using a Sampan, or you could make the longer trip to use the bridge at Pantai Johor. My father was a clerk with the RIMV and later transferred to the High Court. My mother was a housewife with a handful twelve siblings to her care. 

I attended the Iskandar Primary School, named after the father of Prime Minister Mahathir. After completing Standard Six, I went to study at the Sultan Abdul Hamid College, an icon institution established in 1908. Mahathir studied there in the 1940's and so did my father.

At home, I was made aware of the importance of education and was discouraged from having friends. It was only after I left my parents to stay with my Grands in nearby Kampung Alor Merah, was I able to roam more freely the padi fields of which I love so much and make friends. 

My early exposure to the world must have been from the many story books that I read, from Enid Blyton to abridged Dickens and  Shakespeare. My father used to bring home the Islamic Herald magazine, a publication of the Malaysian Muslim Converts Association, and occasionally a copy of the Illustrated Weekly of India. Through these early materials, I saw the world as being bigger than the village and the fields, albeit dimly on prints and pictures.

I was also brought up in an environment where I became conscious of my Islamic and Malay identity. We loved Quranic recitations, especially those by Ustaz Ismail Hashim; the Burdah; the Berzanji; and my Grand Ma's Nazoms. On Fridays I would go to the mosque for Friday prayers in my Sarong, shirt and white skull cap. 

My contacts with people of a different race was, for the most part, confined to the schools. There was my favourite Teacher, Mister Teh Chin Teik; the English Master, Mister Ching Chin Eong and the aloof Assistant Head Master, Mister Sheshadri. Not to mention the many friends that I  made during the twelve years of Primary and Secondary schooling. Not for a moment during those innocent years did I harbour any ill feelings that could be construed as racial and I could not recall any conversations with my family that the subject of race and race relations came up. At least not anything significant. 

You could say that I was too much of a universalist to be bogged down by the race issue. In addition to the various books that I enjoyed, I also have a soft spot for Indian and Arabian music, and in the field of the arts found satisfaction in admiring Ming dynasty "Mohammedan" blue ceramics, Dutch Maestrich pieces and the paintings of Van Gogh, to mention a few.

It was under such happy circumstances that I made my way to the University of Malaya to do  my degree. I still remember the bus ride one late evening from Alor Setar to Kuala Lumpur. And how my father insisted on me wearing the black Kopiah at the bus station. I was the only one from among the Kedah contingent that arrived early the following day at the University with my Kopiah on.

The year was 1978.

~Anwar~

After the euphoria of the first few weeks of orientation, it was time for the classes and settling down. And that's when I got my first glimpse of the racial "gap", inperceptibly at first but slowly taking on the ugly head that it soon assumed. The worldview that I brought with me from the Kampung was in stark contrast with what followed. There was of-course the expected courtesy, the smile and the participation in activites but I could sense that the soul was missing. There was the blue die and the elaborate motifs, but the admiration was simply missing. It was like a broken Ming with badly glued pieces.

What followed then was a long search for a kind of philosophy, if you like, one that could accommodate my woldview. In this context I soon got to read books on Pan-Islamism, Maududi, Maryam Jameelah, Ismail Faruqi and a few others, but never in any great detail. I also heard about Anwar Ibrahim, and on one occasion was in a lecture hall with a lot of people to hear him talk. However, I decided to leave when the crowd got to be too noisy for my liking. Anwar then was just a name to me, associated loosely with Islamic revival, the greater Ummah and his notorious Baling student demonstration. Signals from home told me to be wary of those turbaned and bearded orang dakwah (the preachers) and orang ABIM (Muslim Youth movement) and their strange ways. Much of the concerns were really unfounded.

I do not know what compelled me to visit Christian gatherings in the hostel where I stayed, but that I did. I guess, on the hindsight, it must have been the urge to seek the harmonious unity in all the diversity. I honestly thought that Islam was the answer. And I was hoping that Pan Islamism and the greater awareness of Islam, which to me was universal in character, would finally fulfill my need for a philosophy that equated with my own worldview.

It is important at this juncture to mention that it was at about the same time as all these things were happening to me that I bought my first book on Sufism. The book was "What is Sufism" by Martin Lings (Abu Bakr Sirajuddin). Sufism would eventually, after many more years of "journey", become the real answer to what I sought - my raison d'etre.

I had mixed feelings when Anwar decided to join the United Malay Nationalist Organization (UMNO) in 1982, for that looked to be out of character with what I believed he stood for. Pan Islamism transcends the boundry of race and UMNO was like the other end of the pole. I remember writing him a letter enquiring about the truth of his statement as reported in the daily a few days after that decision. In it he was quoted as saying that he will strive for the betterment of his Bangsa, Agama dan Negara (race, religion and country). I thought he meant Agama, Bangsa dan Negara in that order. Anyway, I received a short typed reply saying that he was misquoted. The letter ended with a hand written signature and a short supplication, if I remember right. Anwar believed that UMNO which headed a  multi-racial coalition could eradicate poverty, curb corruption and promote progressive Islamic values.
 

~1998~

It was with a heavy heart then that I received news of his sacking from UMNO and the grounds for such action. I remember my wife passing to me the newspaper on that fateful morning while I was about to go to work. The initial dissapointment and sadness soon gave way to an acceptance of the possibilities of human frailties.

I do not know exactly when I got to know about Anwar Online, but it must be just a few days after. With the Bolshoi Ballet Theatre Orchestra of Tashkent's rendition of P Ramlee's Bunga Melor, Getaran Jiwa, and others in the background, I was soon scouring the web for more news on Anwar. That was how I got to know about the conspiracy theory, his subsequent arrest by the SB and the horrendous beating while in police custody.

The beating proved to be the turning point for me. Whichever way 
I looked at it, it was all wrong. It was a langkah sumbang 
(bad stance) in the broiling Silat. The assurance by the IGP that Anwar was safe and sound and Mahathir's "self inflict" whining soon gave way to scepticism.

And as they say, the rest is history...the quality of the witnesses put forth by the prosecution and the amendments to the dates of the alledged offence were all too easy....

One other important point was Yusuf Qaradawi's precious reminder of the Quranic dictates with regards to unsubstantiated allegations.
 

~IN IT, WHAT IS IN IT~

The Sufis say, IN IT, WHAT IS IN IT. 
You get what you can extract from a given situation.

To me, the Anwar saga betrays a wanton neglect of Quranic dictates and an abuse of power of the highest degree.

I am reminded of a quotation from the Bible :
"What does a man gain if he has the world but loses his soul"

Islam is both body (Sharia) and soul (Haqiqa)
Haqiqa is personal, Sharia is public

It is my hope that this country of ours will witness a reflowering of all that is noble, addressing less the building but more the "man in the building". I believe Anwar's vision of masyarakat madani (civil society) is our best hope yet.

~Salim (10/4/01)

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