~*~ Chapter 40 ~*~
NEW YORK CITY, NY – HOTEL – JAN. 15TH, 2001
“Man, I have to talk.” Ashley said as Erik opened the door to his room.
“What’s going on? Have you been crying?” Erik asked all worried while Ashley sat on the bed.
“Yeah…”
“What happened?” Erik sat next to him
“Kirstin…”
“Oh, the dress fitting. Oh God, what happened?” Erik said, rubbing his forehead already.
“I…” Ashley started crying again “She was wearing this amazingly gorgeous dress. I don’t know, but all I kept thinking was that she wasn’t marrying me. That I should be the one marrying her, but I am not gonna be. Just kept thinking how much I love her and how much I need her by my side and she doesn’t even know half about my feelings for her. I said some stuff when she dropped me off here, but that’s not even half. Oh man, I love her so much and she’s making the worst mistake marrying this guy that doesn’t deserve her. The waiter boy doesn’t love her half much as I do.” Ashley was crying his eyes out.
“Ash, just calm down, alright? I know it’s not easy, but you can’t be like that. You’re a mess. Just look at you.” Erik pointed to a large mirror that was in front of the bed and Ashley stared at it.
“Oh God, I am a mess.” Ashley looked down and shook his head.
“Ashley, I knew it would be hard for you to see her on her wedding dress and you knew it too. You could have said no. Why did you go in the first place?”
“Because if I can’t have her as my girlfriend, I have to, at least, have her as my friend. I’ve already lost her as my friend once and I don’t wanna go through that again. Ever. So I thought that, going with her, I’d be the friend she needed right there and it would be only that. I didn’t know it would be this terrible, me, coming from the fitting crying like this.”
“But you knew it would be hard! You said it yourself!”
“I know, but not that hard! I don’t know how I thought it would be. I thought it would be hard, but I would be able to control myself. But I see now that my love for her is even bigger than I thought it was. If that’s possible.” he looked up at the mirror and shook his head again.
“Ash, I don’t even know what to say. I always have nothing to say when it comes to Kirstin. You know I don’t like her that much, that I think she’s only here to hurt you and I can’t understand why you can’t let her go. All I can say is just… I don’t know… just stay away from her for a while. Maybe the feeling will go away. I don’t know. You should try at least.”
“I don’t know if I can stay away from her. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like it’s best to have her friendship than having not even that, you know?”
“Yeah… You wanna be close to her.”
“Exactly!” Ashley exclaimed “That’s exactly it! I wanna know she’s gonna be next to me. I can’t let the feeling of being next to her go.”
“Yeah…” Erik only had that to say.
“Listen, Er, I know you don’t like her that much. I know you think she hurts me. I don’t really see it like that. She only hurts me because I let her do that to me. It’s not her fault. She doesn’t know she does that. I’m sure that, if she knew, she wouldn’t. She actually makes me pretty happy. Because whenever I’m around her, I’m the happiest man on Earth. We can be doing nothing, just sitting by each others side, her closeness is enough to make me happy.”
“Well, that’s love right there.”
“Yes, it is.” Ashley had already controlled his tears and was no longer crying “Listen, I’m gonna go, but… Thanks. Really.”
“Well, I actually didn’t help much.” Erik said, getting up next to Ashley.
“You heard me. That’s enough.” Ashley smiled and hugged his friend.
“I’m always here, bro.”
“Thanks. Let me go to my room now. I could really use some sleep.”
“Yeah, go. We talk tomorrow, alright?” Erik said as Ashley stepped though the door.
“Thanks, man.” Ashley said and entered his room, that was right in front of Erik’s.
Inside the room, he took his shoes off and striped to his boxers.
He made his way to the bed and collapsed on it, turning off the lights. He
then laid looking at the ceiling, not knowing how to treat Kirstin the following
days because of what he had said to her earlier. Then, when he was almost
asleep, he heard a knock on his door.
“Oh, man. Not now.” he said all grumpy “What?” he said angrily, rubbing his eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m gonna go.” she said, feeling bad for waking him up.
“Oh, no, no, no.” Ashley grabbed her fist when he noticed who it was “It’s ok. I thought it was one of the guys.”
“Oh…” Kirstin said, looking down the whole time.
“Are you ok? What happened?” he asked, not knowing why she was there “Kirstin?” he asked again when she didn’t answer “K?” she still didn’t answer and was still looking down. Ashley then pulled her chin up and could see her eyes all red “What happened?”
“It’s just that…” Kirstin started, but Ashley cut her off.
“It’s not about what I told you earlier, is it? Because if it is, I don’t wanna see you like that, I just told you that because I couldn’t keep it anymore. But I don’t wanna pressure you to do anything. Don’t worry, K, I really didn’t…”
“That’s not it.” Kirstin said really low.
“What?” Ashley asked her, frowning.
“That’s not it.” Kirstin said, looking at Ashley.
“What is it then?”
“Can I come in?” Kirstin asked, looking inside the room.
“Yeah, of course. Come in.” Ashley motioned for her to get in.
* Thanx Stacie for reviewing and correcting the grammar errors *
~*~ Chapter 39 ~*~
~*~ Chapter 41 ~*~
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