~*~ Chapter 4 ~*~
Our first “conversation” lasted 1 hour and 10 minutes.
I knew it right there that he was gonna be the one. The one who’d make me stop thinking about the previous guy. The one who’d make me laugh as he already had so many times during our one-hour-and-so conversation. The one that could make me forget about all my troubles. The one that could suppress my needy feelings. The one that I could truly fall in love with. And fall hard.
He had promised to log in the following day, so… What did I do? I logged onto MSN as soon as I woke up. There was no one I was really wanting to chat with, so I set my status as “Away” and wrote next to my nickname: “Waiting For Josh”.
He logged at 10:44 p.m. He opened my conversation window and wrote:
“You’ve been adding too many Joshs, huh?”
There it was. My stupid silly smile again. As all of my other stupid silly smiles that came every time he’d start talking to me, I wasn’t able to control that one. It was kind of a reflex thing. As my heart skipping a beat whenever he’d call me up was a reflex too.
I had actually spent the entire day, while waiting for him, looking at his Orkut photo album, practically knowing by heart every detail of every picture there was. I had also looked through his Orkut Communities more carefully then when I first saw his profile. He was on one called 'I’m crazy about my girlfriend'. That thing stood in my head and I was kind of worried about it. So, when he went online, I tried to find a way to ask him about it somehow and he was actually ok with telling me he had a girlfriend but had broken up with her just 10 days before, so he hadn’t had time to unsubscribe to that community.
The conversation went on and we talked about so many things and it felt so easy. It was so easy just chatting with him. With his little jokes and his sweet compliments and the way he made me feel… I don’t know why, but he captured me too much too fast.
(Ok. Just a little pause here, because I need to wipe away these stupid tears…)
Ok! I’m back! (And here was I thinking it wouldn’t be that hard to write about it. Think again, Amy!)
Maybe it was the needy thing. But I prefer to thing it was something else. Something I can’t explain. Something he can’t explain. No one can, actually.
We talked silly about marriage arrangements even!
During my summer break, I stay at my mom’s house. I live in Sao Paulo, where I study, but I’m actually from a small town from the same state. So, during my vacations, I get to be with my mom, since I don’t work or anything. And at my house there, my sister had a webcam, and I borrowed it so I could “show myself”, even though I hate it. I think he was actually the only one who I felt like “showing myself” to.
This second time we talked, I sent him a webcam exhibition invitation. I was so shy, I just sent him a kiss through the cam and that was it. He said that, and I quote: “I think I’ll never ask for my mom’s Kiss goodnight again… I’d rather have yours...”
There. Sweet. Again. This was starting to get to me. He knew exactly how to get to me. I hated it. But I also loved it.
But then the next news he told me crushed me: he was going to the United States.
~*~ Chapter 3 ~*~
~*~ Chapter 5 ~*~
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