Posted by John W. Wirtanen [JohnWWirtanen] on April 02, 1999 at 12:20:40 {ppHCdFLRUMmCpMHrVMyIEn.OK4kK/E}:
A group of us went to the Memorial at a local San Francisco area congregation. There were eight of us, some who had walked away, some who had disassociated, and some who had been disfellowshipped; half of us gay, half of us straight. We had gone for a variety of reasons. But, primarily, it was a way of bringing closure to the JW experience.
I had gone to the Memorial the year before for the first time since disassociating four years prior. I had gone to the congregation that I disassociated from to primarily show that, contrary to the usual JW predictions, my life had not unraveled AND I was actually a much happier person. Another member of our group had also gone last year for the first time in close to two decades. This time, both of us were there for moral support to the other six who joined us.
We entered, not with heads bowed sheepishly in the JW assumed role that an ex-JW should portray. No, we entered smiling, heads-up, in control, and sat in various places within the Kingdom Hall. I believe that due to our countenance we were not perceived as ex-JWs. As a result, no one ignored us. After all �fresh meat� for a prospective bible study.
The best thing that I can say about the experience for me, aesthetically/emotionally speaking, was the d�cor of the place. It was a lovely combination of soft greys, blues, driftwood stained roof beams, and, for a change, comfortable chairs. The outfits worn were the typical JW fare: Men and women in tired styles that defined nondescript, some youth trying to fit within the JW mold by dressing drably and old before their time, some youth doing what they could to rebel by either being overdressed or appearing as tarts. There was one very stylish, older �sister�. She could have gone to any social function and been perfectly in place. Not underdressed, not overdressed. Brava!
After the meeting started, I was approached by an attendant who got me a seat nearby my friend who was in a wheelchair. The �brother� sitting next to me kindly offered and I accepted to read along with him the cited verses and the songs. As the meeting progressed, I was able to look at it even more objectively than the prior year that I had gone. Then, I had gone for myself (and to obtain a subscription for my invalid JW sister whom no one in the congregation ever visits). This time, I came to truly observe. Findings: The same old, tired talk. (Except, surprise, no reference to 1914.) The same old, tired ritualistic prayer and passing of emblems. I thought, the JWs really have some gall to criticize the Roman Catholic church for its rituals. This was ritual, pure and simple, 100%. The prayers were unremarkable.
The other key point that I noticed was the use of scripture. When I was a Dub, I heard others criticize the faith for its only quoting of single scriptures, in a �scatter-gun� fashion, without really getting into the context. This time I was able to actually recognize this. Verses quoted only in part (i.e., �let�s turn to the �b� part of the verse�), singly, or at most, about three verses consecutively, bouncing around from Hebrew to Greek Scriptures.
To the speaker�s credit, he used excellent props of life-size stakes like those that could have been used in the impalement. It brought back memories from the films �Ben-Hur� and �The Last Temptation of Christ�. I thought as a prior TM Overseer, I�ll mark him �Good� on illustrations. When he spoke about love, I thought �how hypocritical�. I thought of my sister and how no love is shown to her. And of so many others I have come to know that have had similar experiences. Hmm, I think I�ll have to have him work next time on the point dealing with useful information, clearly presented.
I looked at those sitting in attendance. Very few, truly smiling, happy looking expressions (except for us!). I thought about how sad that they have to �buy into� everything without question, how they can�t openly read the well-documented facts about the Organization�s past and present. Some in our group partook of the emblems, others did not.
Afterwards many of us were able to get into interesting discussions with �The Friends�. The speaker�s last name was Russell. One in our group who�s very knowledgeable about metaphysics and Charles Taze Russell�s involvement with pyramidology got into an interesting discussion with the speaker, leading in with the similarity of the speaker�s and the JW founder�s last names. Another from our group, very knowledgeable in cults and their tactics, was able to field a number of questions to others, getting them to think critically about the teachings. Just about all had some interesting tid-bit.
At dinner afterwards we laughed, joked, and recounted our experiences. For me, it had brought back pleasant memories of how nice
the association with others in my old congregation had been. But, not worth the price that one must pay: Bondage to thought/belief patterns, many of which run counter-intuitively to human nature, love, and compassion. But, I always will
remember the delightful d�cor of the place. Must have been done by a closeted gay �brother�.