"That's great sweetie" she replies. "Do I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
"Who cares?" he replies. "JUST **** OFF!"
As soon as he got home, he told his wife about the purchase he just made.
"Olympic comdoms?" she blurts. "What makes them so special?"
"There are 3 colours" he replies. "Gold, silver and bronze!"
"What colour are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course!" says the man proudly.
"Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change!"
He says to him "Isn't this a coincedence, we both have black eyes! Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says "I got it in a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the the most massive breasts in the world was there. So instead of saying "I would like 2 tickets to Pittsburgh, I said I would like 2 tickets two Tittsburgh!" So she punched me."
The first guy replied "Wow, this is unbelievable, mine was a tongue twister too! I was at breakfast this morning and I wanted to say to my wife "Please pour me a bowl of frosties honey" but I accdentally said "You ruined my life, you evil fat slag!"