The Long Way Home
The
sound of the shower wakes me and for a second I'm disoriented. Who the hell is in my shower? Oh yeah, Graham. Groaning I roll over and pull the pillow over
my head. The last thing I need is another
hard on courtesy of Graham Miller.
I
realize I'm being an idiot. I can
control this, I'm an adult for God's sake and I can control my body. Getting out of bed I go to the kitchen. Might as well make him breakfast. Yeah, that's all you're doing. Not hoping to catch another glance of him in
nothing but a towel.
As
I crack eggs into a bowl I keep one eye on the doorway waiting for him to go
past. Soon I'm graced by the sight of a
hard bronze body passing the door. He
doesn't notice me, which I realize is a good thing considering I'm standing
here open mouthed and practically drooling.
I
go back to the eggs, adding milk, salt and pepper, my body performing the task
automatically while my mind conjures up ways to dry him that don't include
towels. I'd start with his collarbone,
lap my way down his chest, each nipple receiving a through sucking before
reaching his navel. Using the hard tip
of my tongue I'd ferret out the water hidden in that shallow depth.
"So,
what's been going on in Sunnydale since we left?"
I
jump at the sound of his voice nearly dropping the bowl of eggs on the
floor. I hear him chuckle before
apologizing.
"Sorry."
I
look at him and it takes a few minutes for my brain to begin working
again. Have BDU's always been that sexy? The pants fit him like a second skin, hugging
his upper thighs and hips, flaring slightly at the bottom before being tucked
into the cleanest pair of boots I've ever seen.
He's left his shirt un-tucked and un-buttoned with the sleeves rolled to
his elbows. My eyes trace the sculpted
muscle of his chest, down the line of his stomach stopping at the waistband of
his pants.
Suddenly
I realize I'm staring and jerk my eyes back to his face. There's a slightly confused look on his face
and I can feel the blush creep up my neck to my face.
"You,
uh...you want breakfast?"
"Sure,
sounds good. You need any help?"
"Nope."
Setting
the bowl on the counter I pull the skillet out from the cabinet next to the
sink. After turning on the burner I pull
the butter from the refrigerator and scoop a teaspoon into the skillet to
melt. While it's heating I turn back to
him.
"So
Sunnydale happenings, you want the long or the short."
"How
much time we got?"
"Enough
for the long if you want it."
His
eyes sweep down my body and I can't help the shudder that races through
me. Is he, no, he can't be. When he speaks his voice is just a little
rougher and his eyes are just a bit darker.
"Long
it is then."
I
turn back to the skillet to pour the eggs in and to try to get my raging libido
under control. Graham Miller, US Marine,
is not checking me out. What the hell is
wrong with me? I pull the rest of the
ingredients for the omelet out of the refrigerator and start telling him the
story.
An
hour later we're sitting at the bar, empty plates in front of us. Graham's face shows his shock at the events
that have passed since he's been gone.
"Hostile
17 with a soul? Did he stick
around?"
"Nah,
he went to Angel. He's trying to deal
with it but I think it's making him insane."
"Like
he wasn't before."
"Yeah,
but you know, Spike is, Spike is different.
I guess he went back to Angel because Angelus taught him evil, I think
he's hoping Angel can teach him goodness just as well. I hope he finds what he's looking for."
Graham's
eyebrows shoot up.
"You
sound like you feel sorry for him. After
what he did I figure you'd still pretty much hate him."
Picking
up the plates I turn my back to him. I
think of Spike for a second. The way he
understood me, the way he kissed me before he left. The gentleness of his touch as he showed me
how good it could be.
"Like
I said, Spike's different and he, he helped me with some things and...and I jut
hope he can find a little peace."
Setting
the plates on the counter I turn back to get the rest of the dishes only to
find Graham standing just a few inches from me holding the glasses. When my fingers brush his I gasp and pull my
hand back quickly as I feel fire spread along my arm. His eyes close briefly before reaching past
me and placing the glasses on the counter.
Even
though I know what I'm about to do is wrong for so many reasons, I can't
stop. When he leans past me his neck
comes within the range of my mouth.
Licking my lips I place my mouth against his skin at the juncture of his
neck and shoulder. I let my tongue slip
out to taste to him. Licking slowly
across his neck I travel to his collarbone and place light bites across the
skin covering the bone.
His
head tilts back with a moan sending bolts of desire crashing through me. God he
tastes good. Clean, smooth, his skin is
so hot under my tongue. I can feel his
accelerating heartbeat every time my tongue traces over an artery. His hands tangle in my hair pressing my head
harder against him before his fingers tighten and he pulls my head back until
our eyes meet.
I
want to do cartwheels because of the need I see shining from his eyes.
"Xander,
don't, please. I'm leaving and we...we
can't start this."
I
try to keep the hurt out of my eyes and voice.
"Sure,
no problem. I'm gonna shower and then
we'll get to Buffy's."
I
try to push past him but he catches my arm and pulls me against him.
"I'm
only gonna say this once, so listen okay.
I want you."
His
eyes lower for a second and I open my mouth but he shakes his head. When his eyes meet mine again I'm shocked
silent by what I see. His pupils are
completely dilated and the skin of his face is pulled tight in need.
"I
want you enough that I had to get up in the middle of the night and change my
pants. But I can get sex anywhere. I want more than that, at least where you're
concerned. You deserve more than that. I'm leaving and I don't know when or if I'll
ever get back here but if I ever do and you're not gone or already with someone
else keep this in mind."
I
watch as his head lowers. His eyes fall closed seconds before I feel his lips
on mine. His tongue strokes across my
lower lip and I open for him on a sigh.
Wet flesh sliding together, searching every crevice, memorizing taste
and texture. His right hand slips down my back, his blunt nails raking across
my skin, pulling me closer, pressing our bodies together from chest to
knee. Both his hands fall to my ass
grinding our erections together as he sucks my tongue into his mouth.
I
moan into his mouth, my body on fire for more.
He backs me into the counter his whole body grinding against mine. I push his shirt off his shoulders growling
in frustration when the rolled up sleeves catch on his hands. Yanking hard I tug the shirt away and let my
hands travel across his chest and back.
I return the favor of running one finger roughly down his spine smiling
in triumph when his back arches and I catch his moan with my tongue.
He
rips his mouth from mine and takes a step back.
The only sound in the room is our harsh panting breath. I reach for him and he shakes his head.
"I-I
can't. Please understand. Go...go before I lose what's left of my
control."
My
brain knows he's right, my body thinks otherwise. I never was very good with one-night stands
and I know he wouldn't be an exception.
I nod my head and leave the room.
I need a shower, preferably a long cold one.