I'm sorry for any abrupt subject change, incorrect word use, or any other problems this may include. I wrote this late at night, so I was not in a sufficient mental state to correct all my errors.
Robert Smith made his way from a middleclass college student to a mutli-billionaire from writing several books, screenplays, sitcom scripts, and various other things, mostly comedic and/or satirical.
Then he starts donating to funds for sick, disabled and underprivilaged people. He is the richest and most widely-loved man in the world. That makes him influential.
Suddenly he dies. The world mourns his death for two years. Then, one day, everyone's televisions and radios cut away from their regularly schedueled programs to convey a message from Robert Smith. He is still alive, and is living in a barricaded fortress house in the country.
To put this simply, I will be taking over your lives. Fear not, for as you well know, I act in the best interest of the people. Now I got where I am today because I understand people. I understand them well enough to know just what sets their emotions off, and I used that to my advantage. It made me a very rich and powerful person, and I am using the power I have now attained to give more to the people. To give to them what they could never have gotten from someone else. To give them the gift of true happiness.
I realize this will take time to get used to, and many organizations will try to stop me. That is why all area and airspace within a ten mile radius of my livingspace will be completely off-limits. Fear not, though, for I selected a very convinient location for approximately 314 square miles to disappear from. It shouldn't hinder you at all. Just add it to your map and stay away. If you do not, you will pay the price.
This may seem brash, but it's only to protect me, in which I will be protecting my ability to give you the gift of true happiness that I mentioned earlier.
By manipulating the people he knew so well, he convinced them all that he was still a good person, and got enough followers to be able to really change things using the naive system we call "democracy" to hide the fact that we're indecisive and need an excuse to be able to continually change our minds.
Stop being so weak. Stop letting yourselves be pushed around by greedy people who are fortunate enough to have been endowed with a status that's widely accepted as deserving special treatment. Homosexual, African-Americans, in general they are no better or worse than the average white straight man.
I know you're all concerned with making yourself and others percieve you as a good person, but by giving minorities special treatment, you're actually being discriminant and racist. If you truly want the world to be fair and accepting, you mustn't take any more or less trouble from a minority group than you would from a normal caucasian.
It's easy to spot greedy people, and if you're not one, you can stop them. In courts, on the streets, involved with important corporations, anywhere.
One last thing in this broadcast: Religion. I understand that many of you have to believe what you have to believe, because you've been force-fed it from birth and there's nothing you can do. I don't blame you and I don't want to change the way you feel about that. I do, however, want to enforce that, no matter what you believe, there's no way to actually prove it. Any firm religious standpoint--even atheism--is absurd and, by associating yourself with a certain religious group, you're setting yourself up to be easily manipulated by people who will tack fascist religious ideals onto their own that you can't help but accept.
Several groups try to stop Robert; mostly government-funded assault forces. They learned quickly that they couldn't go within ten miles of Robert's house lest they appreciated eating hundreds of armour-piercing bullets from one of the many machine gun auto-turrets stationed around the perimeter of his property.
They also discovered that airstrikes would be ineffective, as anti-air missiles would destroy any flying object within ten miles of Robert's livingspace. He'd warned them. Why hadn't they listened?
Even missiles of their own were destroyed by Robert's defense systems when detected in close enough proximity to his livingspace.
Robert Smith is powerful. Many of the things people do by his influence are not accomplished by his raw firepower, but by his logic of ideals. Is Robert Smith an intelligent man? Or is he just another one of you?
Or is he all of you?
Now you will see the entirity of my plan. I have given you all a life of solace. Bliss. Problem-free. Before, all you'd do would be complain. Nothing was ever right. Now it's all perfect, and you'll find that you are happy.
But chaos is human nature, because chaos is nature, and humans are part of it. Humans are a natural aspect of his earth, and chaos is their destiny. Now that you've all been nestled between your cell-walls, I am going to do the unthinkable.
I'm going to take them away.
This will be your divine state: complete chaos, dropped into a confusing world without the support you're so accustomed to. Why do I know this? Because I understand people. That's how I got to where I am today, remember?
Yet amidst this chaos, you'll find that you miss the peace and simplicity of my rule. You'll want it to go back to the way it was, and this is exactly what I mean: Nothing is ever right. People always need to change something, and they invented the concept of freedom to be able to do it; to be able to be chaotic and yet feel like they're more advanced and civil, that they're better than nature, their heritage, their ancestors.
Today I have given you the gift of knowledge. The knowledge that you are not great, and that your problems stem from your uncontrollable nature that drives you to create them. Knowing this, you realize that you can't escape your archaic nature, and if you'd go about things more barbarically and less "fair," you'd get a lot more done. Productivity is the ultimate goal of the human race, but you're weighing yourself down by constantly coming up with new ways to fight amongst yourselves.
Forget about treating every person fairly; humanity lives to better itself as a whole, and you should give yourself that right. The better humanity gets, the more likely the occurance that it will be able to finally take care of all its people at once.
Happiness is the personal drive of life. You should always be happy, and with this new knowledge, you can let yourself accept what's going on around you and be happy that you're helping mankind better itself for a greater purpose that one day may benefit it in its entirity.
~Robert Smith~
Back to more greatness.