Snappy Comebacks

Quickies

Husband: "Want a quickie"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"

Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it."
Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"

Pants

After sex one night, the husband threw his pants at his wife. "Here," he said, "try them on." The woman did so.

"They're too big," she complained.

"You got it," her husband replied. "I never want you to forget just who wears the pants in this house."

Scowling, the woman reached down, grabbed her panties, and tossed them to her husband. "Try them on," she ordered.

Studying them, he snickered. "Forget it! I'll never get into these!"

"Until your attitude changes," she smirked, "that's absolutely right."

Stanley

Stanley was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of I.Q. and common knowledge. He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

Stanley's wife replied, "Why thank you, dear!"

TBA