Great Quotations

Random Quotes about Men in General

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

"A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't."

Women's faults are many. Men have only two:
... Everything they say and everything they do.

"Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
... Luckily, this is not difficult."

"Bitch Is A Compliment."

"Against Abortion? Have a Vasectomy."

"Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it."

"Why marry and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable."

"Explain to me again why I need a man ?"

Quotes by Women Celebrities

"Things you'll never hear a woman say:
'My, what an attractive scrotum!' "
~ Patricia Arquette

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country."
~ Elayne Boosler

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
~ Barbara Bush

"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
~ Marie Corelli

"Honesty is the key to a relationship.
If you can fake that, you're in."
~ Courtney Cox

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"
~ Linda Ellerbee

"I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house."
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them."
~ Sue Grafton

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
~ Erica Jong

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
~ Maryon Pearson

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome,
but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
~ Roseanne

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
~ Gloria Steinem

"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake whole relationships."
~ Sharon Stone

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man.
If you want anything done, ask a woman."
~ Margaret Thatcher

"I think therefore I'm single."
~ Lizz Winstead

Quotes by Men Celebrities

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life,
she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
~ Dave Barry

"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place."
~ Billy Crystal

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
~ Bob Ettinger

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men.
I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh!"
~ Conan O'Brien

"Instead of getting married again,
I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
~ Rod Stewart

"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same."
~ Oscar Wilde

"Ah, yes, divorce.......,
from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
~ Robin Williams

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth.
On the other hand, we can open all our own jars."
~ Bruce Willis