It was over and ruined. Josefina could already tell that. She had felt it
in the way his hand had left her body so quickly. He wasn’t ready for this and
she knew that she wasn’t really either. But this could be the last chance she
would have to give birth to a baby. Not that she was being fatalistic, she just
knew that there always seemed to be reasons for things. She wasn’t a
twenty-year-old girl anymore, she wasn’t twenty-five and she wasn’t thirty
anymore. This was something monumental.
But what about Peter?
He had rights, he had say, this baby was his just as much as it was hers.
What if he didn’t want it? She couldn’t force him to love it or care for it. She
couldn’t bring herself to tell her father about this. She didn’t want to hear it
from him.
She didn’t want to tell Phil or his wife.
Call me anytime! You can call me anytime!
Josefina didn’t know if she should. Was she after all, part of the group?
Was she really? Did the playthings of Peter Forsberg get say in the group? Had
she just been polite or was she sincere?
Peter had left for practice that morning and from there to the airport.
Jo knew she wouldn’t be seeing him until the weekend, if she were even around
for that. She took a shower, had a little breakfast, changed her clothes twice.
She stood in front of the mirror, imagining what her belly would look like
swollen.
Finally, she went to the phone and dialed the number scrawled on the back
of the card.
“Hello?”
Jo closed her eyes. “Hi... umm Mrs. Sakic?”
“Yes?”
“Yeah, um this is Jo, Um Peter’s...”
“Oh Jo!” Debbie exclaimed with a smile in her voice. “Hi dear! What’s on
your mind?”
Jo could feel her pulse racing as she asked. “Can I come over? Or are you
too busy?”
“Not at all!” Debbie said. “Not busy at all, come right over, here let me
give you the directions...”
Jo sat in the car for a minute before she even opened the door to get
out. The Sakic house was not a house it was a castle. A pale, white columned
mansion that took her breath away. The snow coating the roof and the lawn made
it almost disappear into the white skyline. The freezing air hit her as she
stepped out of the car. Men don’t buy these houses for themselves, she thought.
This was a Queen’s palace.
It never got this cold in
“Oh my God!” Jo gasped and she pressed her hands to her breast, doubling
over to get a better look. “How cute!”
“Isn’t he?” Jo heard Debbie’s voice. “Come on in, before you freeze! I made some coffee.”
Jo smiled at her, “How nice.”
“Oooooh Josefina, how sweet to see you!” Jo heard Mimi Roy exclaim to her
surprise. The French woman was leaning in the doorway of the dining room,
sparkling and smiling. She remembered everything Jacquelyn had said in the
bathroom, and it touched something inside Josefina to see her
again.
“Hi,” Jo said softly. Now she wanted to leave, she couldn’t talk in front
of both of them!
“Come on, come on,” Debbie said, peeling of Jo’s jacket. “Go on into the
dining room have some coffee. I’ll tell the crew to keep it quiet for a
bit.”
“The crew?” Jo asked.
“Oh,” Debbie said. “We’re redecorating some rooms
and...”
“Some rooms?” Mimi exclaimed. “The whole house!”
Debbie waved her hand at Mimi and went down a hallway. Jo looked at Mimi
and said, “Hi,” again.
Mimi blinked and went into the dining room.
“So finally you are lonely now that the men are gone?” She heard Mimi
say.
“No not really,” Jo said going into the dining room where Mimi was
pouring some coffee into a china coffee cup. “I mean, that’s not
what...”
“Is OK,” Mimi said. “You can admit it, you miss him. Milk?
Sugar?”
“Uh.. both,” Jo said and she accepted the warm cup into her frozen hand.
“Thanks. Where are the kids?”
Mimi sat down at the table, stirring her own coffee. She took a sip from
it, leaving a faint lipstick smudge on the edge of it. It kept running through
her Jo’s mind, what Jacquelyn had said about her.
We could have gone on all night!
“The little ones are upstairs with Cecile,” Mimi said. “In the
nursery.”
Jo nodded and blew across the surface of the cup and then set it down
onto the table. She didn’t know if she should be drinking it now. She knew
alcohol was bad. “Is coffee bad?” Jo asked.
Mimi’s eyes narrowed. “Pardon?”
Jo looked back at the cup, watching the steam swirl up and disappear into
the air.
“Sorry about that,” Debbie said as she came back into the room. “So Jo,
great to see you come around! We were waiting for Peter to let you go. In fact
Mimi was just saying that we might have to kidnap you!”
Jo didn’t know what to say other than that filled her with warmth. She
barely knew what it was like to feel wanted by another group of women. In her
experience groups of women usually ended up disliking her tremendously.
“Really?” she said weakly.
Both Debbie and Mimi asked at the same time. “What’s
wrong?”
Jo took a deep breath and she sat down. “I don’t know what to do, I want
to keep it.” She glanced at them and saw them exchange
looks.
“Mon Dieu!” Mimi was the first to say. “You’re
pregnant?”
Jo looked at Debbie who had a hand over her mouth. “Yes,” she said. “I
don’t know what to do! I don’t know what Peter thinks about it. I told him this
morning.” Suddenly she felt calm and safe. She knew she wouldn’t be crying
again. What will they think of me now?
“Oh honey!” Debbie said. “Don’t feel scared OK? What did Peter
say?”
“Baby?” Mimi said, Jo could see tears actually wobbling in her eyes and a
smile on her face. She was enwrapped in a baby powder sweet scent as she hugged
her gently and patted her tummy. There was tenderness there that completely
whirled Josefina senseless. Her lips tickled at her ear and trembled her heart.
“And Peter will belong to you forever!”
Jo jumped out of her seat and away from Mimi’s touch. “No!” she cried. “I
didn’t plan this myself! NO! I’m not trying to trap Peter I would never do that
to him.”
“We’re not saying that honey,” Debbie said, coming to Jo’s other side and
clasping her hand in her own. “You don’t seem the type.”
“I’m not,” Jo insisted. “I don’t know what Peter feels though. He seemed
so scared and it looked like he hated me.”
“Oh no!” Mimi gasped. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It’s sudden,” Debbie said. “Of course he was...surprised but he’s so
sweet, I can’t imagine him not loving a baby. He’s so good with Mitchell when he
has him.”
“Really?” Jo asked. “I... I don’t know what he thinks about babies, I
don’t know him... Oh God how embarrassing is that? I don’t even know him that
well!”
Debbie smiled such a large, pretty smile. How old is she? Jo thought.
She’s young! “Don’t stress about it! If you’re keeping it then enjoy it love it
now. Peter’s gone and he’ll have time to think about it. When he comes back you
two can work it out and anyway we’re here for you. Aren’t we
Mimi?”
“Of course!” Mimi chirped. “Oooh I love babies!”
“Mrs. Sakic!” it was the voice of that nanny, Cecile. “Chase is really
crying for you!”
“Oh!” Debbie exclaimed and she left the room.
Jo watched the doorway and then she felt Mimi’s gaze upon her. Blushing,
she looked at her. “What do you think? I mean really?”
Mimi closed one eye and then quite bluntly, she picked up Jo’s purse and
began to root through it.
“Hey!” Jo exclaimed.
“I think,” Mimi said, “That you need to feel happy! And how can you when
you haven’t taken care of yourself?”
“What?”
Mimi procured Jo’s lipstick, uncapping it and peering at it. “You’re so
pretty,” she said, “even without make up you do not know how many women would
love to be you, yes?”
Jo couldn’t answer.
“The first mistake we make when we feel a little sad or worried is that
we do not make ourselves up,” Mimi said and she sat on the edge of the table,
reaching forward and wrapping one hand around Jo’s waist. It caused a twinge of
something intangible in Jo and she allowed Mimi to nudge her forward until she
could feel her knees pressing against her. “When we are upset we get pale or
splotchy and then we look into the mirror and say, yes we are sad. And then we
feel terrible, and haggard. Is not good, not good. We mustn’t let our men see us
so.”
Jo frowned and she leaned forward, obeying the nudges from Mimi’s hand.
With quick, delicate strokes, Mimi applied the lipstick onto Jo’s mouth. Her
cheeks were burning, she could feel her palms breaking a sweat and the same with
her neck.
“Bon,” Mimi whispered. “There you go.”
“Really?” Jo whispered back, afraid that her heart was beating loud
enough for her to hear.
“Oui,” Mimi answered and she quickly kissed Jo on the mouth, a fast, dry,
kiss.
“Completely kissable! See?”
She picked up Jo’s purse, pulled out her mirror, and held it up to Jo. The
difference was obvious! The blush on her cheeks and the color on her mouth made
her feel human and pretty. “It makes a world of hurt go away to be just a little
vain when we’re feeling down. What’s the use of being pretty if you can’t enjoy
it when the world feels almost unbearable?”
Josefina couldn’t help laughing and she took a step back from this woman.
She was dangerous; it was in the air all around her. It was like standing near
something beautiful and poisonous. And her mouth, she could still feel it almost
burning from the kiss. “Thank you,” she said softly.
Mimi winked. “Just be a pretty little mother, a happy little mother. You
will see it will be the best thing to ever happen. And Peter, oh he will love
you forever. How could he resist you? Is impossible!”
“Back!” Debbie sang as she came back into the room. “Oh Jo you look
sweet! So much happier!”
Jo pressed her hand over her stomach feeling warm and glowing. It was
true! Mimi had just made her feel beautiful and valuable. What would happen in a
few days was inconsequential. What mattered now was that she actually had
friends, and they cared. She belonged with them.
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