Chapter 239: Danny XXII—What Haven’t I Given You?
“You were what?” Danny exclaimed and he messed up his shot, spraying pool balls in all the wrong directions on the table. That didn’t matter; he stood up and peered at Cecile’s stoic face with its glittering eyes. “You were there?”
“Yup,” Cecile said in a mockingly nonchalant voice and the golden bracelet on her wrist sparkled in the dim lighting as she pinned her long hair out of her face. “It happened right under our noses.”
Danny dropped his stick onto the green expanse of the pool table and he circled it to Cecile’s side. He reached out and pressed his hand into her back, rubbing it up and down. “You’re not kidding me are you?”
Cecile half grinned and lifted and eyebrow. “Danny do I even know how to joke?” she said.
Danny smiled and she held up her hand, “No don’t answer that.” She winked at him and circled the pool table, picked up his stick and handed it to him. She wrinkled her nose, and bent over, closing one eye and picking her angle.
Danny grinned as he watched her long, silky hair fall from its fastenings and fall over her long arms. Was she aware of how attractive she was? She was in a pale fitted tee shirt and jeans that were modest but still clung to her slim waist and figure in a way that just enhanced everything on her. All around the room he could see guys glancing in her direction, letting their eyes linger on her, and girls gave her dirty looks. She wasn’t aware of it. She was so innocent she didn’t register the impact she had on a smoky room.
She was too
young to be here after
The balls smacked loudly and crisply against each other, Danny grinned as they seemed to, as usual, obey Cecile’s bidding and fall neatly into every available pocket. Cecile giggled and clapped her hands, she had won again. There were times when Danny had even thought of suggesting to Cecile that she challenge some of the other players for money, she was that good. But no, he didn’t think she would take to that suggestion very well.
“You win.. again,” he said, grinning.
Cecile narrowed her eyes and leaned forward on the table. “You keep letting me win don’t you?”
Danny shook his head. “Nope, I don’t put those balls in the holes, you do.”
Cecile winked. “Surely,” she said.
Danny shook his head and then remembered his original thought. “Hey,” he said. “You say you were at the museum today when the robbery happened?”
Cecile grimaced and held out her hands, “Not so loud!” she said, she then circled the table until she was standing in front of him. “Yes, I went to help Debbie and Michele out with the kids. I was busy with the twins and the other children wandered into the very room where I guess it happened. Both Debbie and Mimi don’t really want too much made of it, I mean the kids didn’t see anything, I mean I would tell the police but it isn’t my place to say anything. You know?”
Danny nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess not. No one was hurt?”
Cecile grinned. “Well just the mummy. I guess Jonathan destroyed it, leave it to those kids hm?”
Danny thought briefly of Jonathan’s flashing eyes, the hatred and anger. “Yeah.”
He felt Cecile’s cool hand squeeze his and her lips touched his very briefly. “Let’s get outta here.”
It was another cold night but there was no snow falling. There were no clouds in the sky, just the frigid placidness of dark pin pricked with only the brightest stars. He slipped his arm around Cecile’s waist, sunk it into the softness of her coat and he leaned into her, kissed her long, pale throat. He inhaled the scent of her, a fruity, lotion smell mixed with the taint of tobacco smoke. He felt Cecile’s arms wrap around him and she pulled him into a long kiss. Danny almost tripped on her and they leaned into the wall of the building kissing, and clinging. The feel of her fuzzy, mittened fingers pressing into his cheeks stirred him dizzy and he found his own hand, sliding up the inside of her coat, he hesitated at the fringe of her shirt before he slipped his fingers up there, touched the burning skin of her tummy.
“Danny!” she gasped and she pushed him back, but not very roughly.
He felt his cheeks redden. “Sorry,” he said.
He saw Cecile’s eyes close and she breathed in deeply, gnawing on her lip. “No. Don’t apologize,” she said.
They stood there, Danny looked away from her, watched the twinkling lighting lacing the trees up and down the street. He could hear Christmas music playing somewhere, he saw a few couples walking down the street and see the life in the glass windows of a restaurant across from them. “When is your mom coming back?” he asked.
“I don’t want to talk about her Danny,” she said, an exhausted tinge in her voice, “Please not while she’s gone.”
Danny looked at her. He hated making her do anything she didn’t want to do. Still, he knew it had to be addressed. “It’s important.”
“This week,” she said dully. “Maybe the beginning of next.”
Danny picked up her hand, kissed the back of it; his lips were tickled by her mitten. “Cecile, I love you. And we can’t just play like this forever you know?”
“I know,” Cecile said and she looked away from him. He looked at her profile, at her perfect, pointed little nose, her regal features. She wasn’t going to, was she? He felt hurt, almost heart broken.
“You’ll tell her when she gets here then, about us?” he asked and he grabbed her other hand. But she didn’t look at him. He felt terrified now, as if he were staring into blackness, a tunnel that had no end. “You will tell her? Won’t you?”
“When does the ring come in?” Cecile asked. She turned her face back to him but her eyes were downcast.
“In a week,” Danny replied, “Maybe a week and a half at the most.”
Cecile smiled weakly, her eyes pleading and glistening as she looked at him. “When I have the ring on my finger, when it’s there, holy and binding and indisputable, I will tell her. Please, when she comes back I will stay quiet as before but when the ring comes, when I can show her that then I will tell her.”
Danny felt a tearing pain inside. “You’re not going to tell her,” he said. The disappointment was clanging in his brain. “Are you?”
“Danny,” Cecile said, her voice was desperate, almost childish, “Of course I will. I made my decision and it’s you but… I just need that ring; it’s something I can show her. Just wait until the ring comes and you’ll see, I’ll come clean, it will be fine, I know it. She’ll see it and she won’t be able to deny that, and she’ll love you. Just wait only this little while longer, a week and a half, you said it yourself.”
Danny was angry, he couldn’t explain it, but he was angry at her. He wanted to yell at her, he wanted to make her hurt the way he was this moment. He didn’t want her calm and confident, optimistic. Was it the beer he’d had? Why was he overreacting? “No!” Danny snapped. “Cecile, Goddam…,” he stopped himself. He took a deep breath. “Cecile, it’s been years and it’s been the same excuse. You want another month, another year, you want distance, you want time to make peace, to square things on your own terms and honey, I’ve been patient. I’ve been here for you and I’ve done everything to make you comfortable and I’ve danced around this apparition of your mother, walked on friggin egg shells for this ghost of a woman whom I’ve never met.”
Cecile was crying now, he saw the tears sliding down her cheeks. “Danny!” she exclaimed. “A week and a half, just give me that!”
“What haven’t I given you?” Danny cried. “What?”
Cecile’s mouth opened and he knew that angry curl to her lips that insulted intake of breath.
“I’m not sneering at you,” he said, “I didn’t mean it like that I wasn’t implying that you were greedy, but the fact of the matter is that I’m human, Cecile, I am human! I get tired just like you do, I worry, I wait and I worry more. I do it for you and I don’t mind, if I could I would grant you ever single wish you ever had. But I can’t. I can give Cecile, I can compromise, and you can’t have everything on your own terms darling. Not everything is for granted, maybe you’re too young to see it still, but that’s how it is.”
Cecile wiped the tears off her face and crossed her arms over her tummy. She looked away from him but she didn’t say anything. Danny sighed. He knew he wasn’t going to force her to tell her mother, and he was willing to bet she knew that as well. “Please, take me home, Danny.” She said, “I don’t want to fight.”
He nodded, kissed her on her damp cheek. She knew it then, she would have her week and a half. It was for granted after all.
As they drove in silence, as they apologized to each other when she kissed him and crawled out of the car, Danny felt a turning point. This was the first time he had ever noticed it, but there was a small part of him that resented this situation, and in resenting the situation it meant he was resenting her.
“Hate her?” Michele’s eyes widened in horror, he could see hurt, fear. “Mon Dieu Daniel what has happened? Hate her?”
It was the next morning and Danny had made sure to call first. He needed to talk to someone and he couldn’t believe what Jacqueline had told him about Michele. She had to be mistaken. So he had called and Michele with her usual sunny charm had told him to come right over, after all she was just doing the family laundry, she would love some company. Patrick was not at home, as usual.
Danny handed her the empty clothes basket he had been holding for her and watched as she set it down in front of the dryer. She leaned on the machine, frowned briefly. “I don’t hate her,” Danny said. “I mean I love her, I just can’t do this anymore, you understand? I never thought I could ever get tired of it but dammit Mimi I am! I am tired of this game, obeying every single fear and phobia of hers and waiting. Sometimes I feel like she is just toying with me, that she’ll make me wait and string me along forever.”
“Penelope’s tapestry,” Mimi said and she smiled.
“What?” Danny asked.
Michele nodded. “It is a tale. Penelope, her husband was away on war for many years and the men everywhere wanted to force her to make a choice, she had to marry one of them. And Penelope says she will make her choice when she is done with her tapestry and they see her sewing it. They are confident she will finish and make her choice, but every night she picks out the stitching and starts over the next morning, so she will never finish the tapestry or make a choice.”
Danny cringed. “Really?” he asked. “Cecile’s always making excuses and…”
“Daniel she is a baby still, only nineteen!” Mimi said. “She is not like that, I am certain she loves you but she is still scared, she is still innocent. If she wants the ring, then give her the ring, and it will be real for her. I have said this before Daniel, you know this.”
Danny sighed. “It just hurt so much when she said it this time. I almost felt like maybe she just doesn’t love me enough to make a stand to her mother, you know? It was like we had taken a big step backwards.”
“Oh pssh!” Mimi said with a smile and she reached forward with her smooth, scented hand, pressed it into his cheek. “You babies are so melodramatic! You want to see her mother’s bleeding heart in her porcelain hand before you are convinced of her love, yes? How barbaric Daniel!”
Danny blushed. “What do I do?” He asked feeling meek.
Michele smiled. “Persevere. And do not be shy, remind her over and over again so that when she gets her ring it will be so much simpler for her yes? Flowers and chocolates and whispered endearments and write her a poem.”
Danny laughed. “A poem!” He exclaimed.
Michele smiled. “Yes even if it is a bad one. She will treasure it. Every girl would be fortunate to have a man who would write her poetry.” A chill passed through. Danny saw it on her face almost as if a frost had settled on her eyes and smile. She closed her eyes and her mouth twisted briefly. “Or maybe I’m just describing myself,” she said quietly.
Danny felt his heart twist. “Mimi,” he said and he reached out for her, and encircled her in his arms, he didn’t know what he was doing exactly. He could only think of her silence, her strength, her capacity for love and enduring her marriage, keeping her goodness from being trampled by it. And here she was helping him, and here he was asking from her, taking from her, just as Cecile took from him. He took her for granted. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and he kissed her cheek, “I shouldn’t be here like this.”
“We’re rarely where we should be, Daniel,” Mimi said and she slipped out of his arms, reinforcing his belief in her chaste interests in him. “Now go home and write that poem. I want to see it before you show it to her, promise me.”
Danny nodded solemnly, “I promise.”
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