“You gonna be watching the game?”
“Of course,” Cecile said, “Of course.”
“I mean cause you said you didn’t see the last one
and...”
Cecile sighed. “Danny,” she said into the phone. “I’m real sorry about
that it’s just that my mom had some free time and she wanted to go out and you
know how it goes.” Pain between her eyes, a new pain, a recent pain. It flared
up on her at odd times.
“Well, we lost anyway,” Danny said.
“Oh I know I’m real sorry,” Cecile said. “I promise I’m gonna be watching
tonight and hey... look you’ll get a goal! Get one for me!” She giggled when she
heard Danny’s goofy “Awwww” and she strengthened her voice. “I demand a goal!
That’s all I want! You get one Danny Hinote!”
Danny laughed. “Hey don’t put too much pressure on me I might
crack!”
Cecile felt a smile so large it hurt. “Aw then what are ya good for if ya
can’t get a goal for a girl!”
“Yes ma’am!” Danny said. “And when I do I’ll send you a
kiss.”
Cecile smiled. Danny had such a soft and clean voice, a sweet smile. As
he began to talk to her some more, she found she wasn’t really listening to his
words anymore. She was listening to his voice. She was listening to his smile
and thinking of how soft his cheeks were and how smooth his hands were. He was
the reason why things were beautiful in the world. He was her reason for
smiling.
Ever since that first moment she had seen him. She had felt him first as
he had been running backwards to catch a football in the park. Like the clumsy
dog he had always been, he barreled right into her. She remembered the rosy
darkness in her eyelids as she hit the grass and squinting up in anger at the
figure standing over her, his hand extended to her, his back to the
sun.
“Gosh I’m sorry, are you OK?” he had said.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re running!” Cecile had snapped, feeling a
pain spidering from her tailbone to her shoulders.
“You’re crying!” he exclaimed and had sat down on the grass next to her,
grabbing her hand gently in his. “Did I hurt you real
bad?”
Cecile had covered her face with her other hand and just broke down
sobbing. She could hear the voices of his friends as they running over. How
humiliating was this? Crying in front of strange men, in a park full of
strangers.
“Shit, Danny!” One of the young men swore. “You dumbass you had to
fucking run the girl down? What the fuck is wrong with
you?”
Cecile dropped her face and pulled her knees up to it, trying not to
listen to that language. She never wanted her mother to be right and she always
was! It wasn’t fair.
“Awwww,” Danny had said and she could feel his voice at her ear and the
warmth of his arm over her shoulders, and it wasn’t unpleasant. “Look hon, I’m
real sorry. Are you hurt? I didn’t mean to honest!”
Cecile was crying so hard at that point that she couldn’t even
answer.
“Dumb fuck,” that young man said again.
“Hey!” Danny yelled and Cecile cringed at the sound of it. “Look stop
cussing like that, you’re scaring her! Look at her skirt, she’s a Catholic
girl!”
“Yeah, yeah,” that other man had said and Cecile heard his voice close to
her face. “Look kid, are you hurt or what? You’re balling hard
enough?”
Cecile didn’t know if she could just tell him that she was already on the
point of crying before he had hit her. She couldn’t tell them that she was tired
of sitting at home all day, she was tired of her mother’s paranoia about her
spirituality, her education, her manners, her weight. It had been another week
of doing nothing right for that woman, and Cecile just didn’t know where to go.
She had felt desperate and lonely and now here in this park where her mother
never wanted her to go because of dirty, strange men she was run over by one.
She sniffled and squinted at the man holding her hand, he wasn’t dirty at all.
He was pink cheeked with a pretty smile and large eyes.
That was her Danny.
That first image of him was always within her mind. It was burned within
her and she saw him at that park at every opportunity she could get after that,
telling her mother that she was going to the library to practice her French.
Danny was simply nice, and smart, and a gentleman. He would write her letters
that he would hand to her and she would hold onto them, waiting until the
“I haveta go now,” Danny said. “You’ll be OK?”
“Sure, sure,” Cecile said, “And I’ll be a lot better once you get me that
goal.”
Danny laughed again. They always felt better when they had a mission. She
knew that much about men. And as a girl, she knew she would feel better when she
saw a token of devotion.
Still, there was something else burned within her.
Cecile had to admit to being afraid to watch the game. She had sat
quietly on the couch with Debbie, her mother she knew was upstairs in her room,
reading.
“Oh,” she had said with a distasteful edge in her voice. “You’re going to
watch the “hockey game?”
Cecile had sighed and crossed her arms. “Yes, Mrs. Sakic asked me if I
would. She would like some company other than the kids.”
“Will that, Daniel be playing?” Her mother had
asked.
Cecile felt the burn in her tummy and she shrugged, fighting not to
blush. “I don’t know. He’s not a top player, he might not
be.”
“You don’t know?” she asked.
Cecile shook her head. “Nope, why would I? I haven’t thought about him
in, well in a long time.”
“Say, “no”, darling, “nope” is vulgar.”
As soon as Cecile had sat on the couch, Mitchell had happily crawled into
her lap while the twins roughhoused for a spot on Debbie. She rocked Mitchell
gently, feeling the warmth of the little boy. Would she have a son first or a
daughter?
She didn’t want to see him again.
The first time Cecile had really seen Patrick Roy was during a game.
Large blue eyes dancing inside a mask, a body lost in excessive trappings.
Twitching and squirming around, he was a confusing and almost disturbing figure
to watch on the ice. And then she had seen him as a casual man. She had been
struck by how small he seemed not in his gear, slender and quiet. It had been
burned into her and she didn’t want to think about it.
When she saw that David Aebischer was in net. She calmed considerably.
And as the game continued and the pace was quick, Cecile began to feel some
excitement. She recognized Mr. Sakic and Peter, and of course Danny. It was
easier for her to follow along she understood it better. And then Danny scored a
goal!
“OMIGOSH!” Cecile had gasped. “He got one!”
Debbie hugged her and as Cecile watched the screen, blushing all over.
She saw him point at the air and blow a kiss.
Everything seemed fine until she went to bed. It was that period before
dropping off and remaining awake. Sometimes she would jerk awake abruptly fast
forgetting some sort of sound or picture that would disturb her. She saw him; a
pale body, a slim waist and she wanted to touch it.
Cecile opened her eyes feeling a sweat prickling on her and she was
horrified. It hadn’t even been Danny. From the moment he had crawled on that
floor to find that hamster, there had been something in the slope of his back
and neck that had touched Cecile. She had thought she had tossed it from her
mind after hearing those terrible stories from Mrs. Foote. He was dangerous and
should be avoided. Of course many a poisonous thing comes in a pleasing
package.
And then he had dropped that towel! What sort of disaster was that? In
the large scope of that horrible day, she supposed that it hadn’t been much. She
didn’t see all that much either, he was turned at an angle so that at least she
was spared to compromising a sight. But she had seen a lot more than she had
ever thought she would, and outside of an artist’s painting or statue it really
was the most she had ever seen of a man in front of her. It had been an
exquisite sight too.
Cecile closed her eyes again and felt the tickle of his mouth on the back
of her hand. She wondered what it would feel like on her throat or her mouth
or..... Only after clamping her pillow over her face and praying feverishly was
she able to fall asleep.
“Oh goodness! Jacquelyn! How nice to see you!”
Cecile was in the process of chasing Mitchell around the coffee table
when she heard Debbie answer the door.
“Oh is terrible of me to bother you, yes?” she heard Mrs. Trepanier
breathe in a light French accent.
“Not at all!” Debbie said. “You shouldn’t be lonely. How awful of Pascal
to leave you alone here! Has he found a house yet?”
“Oh non,” Jacquelyn replied. “He takes forever at those things. And he is
living with a couple of young players, non, non I am not going to live in an
apartment with three men!”
“And you shouldn’t!” Debbie tutted. “Have a seat at the table, I’ll make
some coffee.”
“Hot chocolate if you have it, I can’t abide the bitterness of coffee,
merci.”
Mitchell smiled and looked at Cecile. “I like Mrs. Trepanier! She always
gives me candy!”
Cecile ruffled Mitchell’s hair. “Well then, let’s go see
her.”
“Mommy! Mommy! I want candy!” Chase and Camryn exclaimed as they ran out
of the living room and to the dining room.
Cecile walked calmly next to Mitchell, holding onto his warm, tiny hand.
Jacquelyn was sitting at the end of the table, in impeccable clothes; her slim
legs crossed as she peered at herself into her make up
mirror.
“Hello, Mrs. Trepanier,” Cecile said brightly in
French.
“Good morning!” Jacquelyn replied in English. “So lovely to see
you.”
She then leaned over and smiled at Mitchell with her perfect mouth. “Oooo
Mitchell, angel, would you like a piece of candy?”
“Yes please!” Mitchell grinned as she dropped a Butterscotch drop into
his palm. “Thanks!”
“Mommy! Mommy!” Cecile could hear Chase and Camryn crying in the kitchen.
“Wanna play outside!”
“Oh!” Cecile said. “Mrs. Sakic I’ll take them outside, come on Mitchell
you want to go outside?”
Mitchell nodded as he sucked on the candy.
“No, Cecile it’s OK,” Debbie said as she came out of the kitchen. “Cecile
can you finish the hot chocolate? I’d like to spend some time with the babies
outside.”
Cecile nodded and Debbie giggled and hugged the twins to her frail body.
“Let’s get our jackets on and make some snow angels!”
Cecile watched them leave and then she smiled a bit nervously at
Jacquelyn. She didn’t know her too well, but she felt a bit awkward. Jacquelyn
fell into that category of women that had that air of something gorgeous and
they knew it. Peter’s paramour had that same quality and it always threw Cecile
a bit off. Jacquelyn smiled, her blue eyes sparkling and for an instant, Cecile
was reminded strongly of Michele Roy. There was that same glint in the
smile.
“So, Cecile,” Jacquelyn purred. “How are you? A nanny to two families,
hiding an amour with a young man, must be so tiring!”
Cecile frowned and looked quickly around to make sure her mother wasn’t
there.
“Oh!” Jacquelyn grinned and held her finger to her mouth, “So stupid of
me! I will not speak anymore of that yes?”
Cecile nodded. “Um... yeah.”
“Well then, let us speak of other things shall we not?” Jacquelyn
replied. “How are you handling the new family?”
“The Roys?” Cecile said.
“Oui,” Jacquelyn replied and then she shaped her lips around it. “The
Roys. Oh Jonathan is such a sweet young boy, so smart!”
“He’s nice enough,” Cecile replied. “I like Frederick the most, he has
the most generous temperament but between you and me I think the children are a
tad spoiled.”
Jacquelyn laughed. “Too true! I’ve had three skirts ruined by the sticky
hands of that blond little girl... eh what’s her name?”
“Jana.”
“Jana.” Jacquelyn said. “Oh but I do love that little Roy. Jonathan he is
so much like his father!”
Cecile smiled tightly. Jacquelyn blinked, “Have I said something wrong?
Oooo you do not like Patrick eh?”
“Oh he’s a great...” Cecile exclaimed.
“But you do not like him I can see this!” Jacquelyn replied. “Has he done
something terrible to you?”
“No!” Cecile said quickly not wanting to start something she shouldn’t.
“He’s never done anything it’s just that...”
“Ooooooh,” Jacquelyn cooed again and Cecile was feeling a bit helpless.
This woman was really beginning to remind her of Michele. Was it a quality in
French women? Maybe Danny was right after all and she just didn’t get along with
the general breed. How unsettling! “Have you heard something terrible about
him?”
Cecile frowned. Something wasn’t right here and she couldn’t label it.
She felt like she was in the middle of a stage and she was waiting for her next
line while the lights shone on her from above. What was wrong? “Heard? What
would I have heard?”
Jacquelyn grinned and her eyes narrowed. “I don’t know, why don’t you
tell me.”
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