Would she be there when he got back? Deep inside he knew that she wasn’t
a gold digger, that she hadn’t planned this. She would keep the baby she had
said and he knew that she was telling him her heart. And what had he given her?
Nothing. What would that mean now? It scared Peter to think how she might have
taken his desperate confusion. That might mean that when he came back, it would
be cold in his apartment, and he would never see her
again.
He could call her, and tell her not to leave. Not just yet. The problem
was that he didn’t really understand how he felt yet. He was angry and
disappointed that this had happened. He knew that was his initial feeling, but
what else? He couldn’t just call her and lie to her about being happy for her just to
make her stay. Still, Peter knew that he had to come up with his heart and
soon.
He wanted desperately to talk to someone about this. He didn’t know if he
was ready to talk though. He numbed himself in front of the television,
gradually discovering what a boring roommate Mike Modano was. At least Kaspar
would sometimes fall into loud giggling fits for no reason and then fall asleep
on the carpet. Now that was interesting! Creepy, but interesting. Modano, well
he didn’t even have funny stories to tell or jokes. For a man who went through
great lengths to convince everyone he was gay he was really quite
vanilla!
At least Deader... Deader!! Peter was about to pick up the phone to call
his dear friend. Deadmarsh would definitely give him some good advice! And then
he remembered. The Kings were playing
He felt agitated as he dropped off to sleep, seeing her pained eyes,
seeing the tears and hearing her sobs.....
“Hey Patty!” Peter called to Patrick outside the practice facility in
“Yeah?”
Peter felt a little intimidated suddenly; he didn’t know what to say. At
first he had thought of going to Joe but then what if Joe looked down on him in
some way. And besides it always seemed like Joey had too much on his mind. He
remembered that Patrick was a father before he was a husband. Perhaps he had
some insight to give.
“Yeah,” Peter said, glancing around the parking lot and scratching his
head before making real eye contact with Patrick. “Hey Patty can I talk to you
about something real quick?”
Patrick blinked and shrugged with a grimace. “Of
course.”
“Um... how did you make Jonathan?” Peter asked and then he cringed. That
wasn’t exactly how he wanted that to sound.
Patrick frowned. “Eh?”
Peter shook his head. “No that’s not what I meant!”
“Eh,” Patrick said with a slow smile. “The usual way babies are
made.”
Peter closed his eyes but he felt a smile. He giggled. “OK, that came out
shitty. I mean to say was he planned? I mean how did that
happen?”
When he looked at Patrick again he could see an almost distant look in
his blue eyes, a slight smile at his lips. Peter knew how much Patrick doted on
those children.
“Non,” Patrick replied. “The boy, he was not planned. It was a
surprise.”
“Oh,” Peter said. “And when she told you... I mean how did you
feel?”
“I suspected she was pregnant a week or so before she told me so it was
not such a surprise,” Patrick said. “But when I was certain that was the case,
yes, I was happy.”
Peter nodded. “And you weren’t say, the least bit angry with her? I mean
did you suspect that she was just trying to....”
Patrick’s frown stopped Peter. Had he said something
wrong?
“Are you trying to ask something about my wife?” Patrick asked with a
deadly glint in the words.
Damn goalies, Peter thought, always on the
defensive.
“No, no, no,” Peter said quickly. “No. I’m sure Mimi is fine and all what
I was trying to find out is....” Peter sighed and closed his eyes, pinching the
bridge of his nose. “Oh just forget it.”
“You know,” Patrick said and Peter could feel his arm over his shoulders
in a warm, manly way. “I have not met this senorita of yours, but she doesn’t
sound like a bad deal my friend. I have never seen you smile so large as when
you’re talking about her yes? Think about life without her, and then ask
yourself if you’re willing to believe that she’s deceived
you.”
Peter opened his eyes and looked into Patrick’s smile, into his warm,
sparkling blue eyes.
“And anyway,” Patrick said. “What’s so terrible about being tricked by a
gorgeous woman? What’s the use of pretty women if not to make us lose our
heads?”
With that, Patrick gave Peter a quick, soft little kiss on the tip of his
nose and he strutted into the practice facility singing a jaunty French song.
Peter stood where he was for a few minutes, rubbing at his nose and
scowling.
Eyes cool and gray-blue. Pale and cutting. Sakic’s gaze into his own
eyes, quietly sharing the power of the goal they had just scored, swirled into
Peter’s gut and brain and senses. What did they share every time they exchanged
this glance? Every time they pressed their foreheads to each other and gazed,
Peter could never recall any words that went through his head at that moment. It
was just a moment of being, of sharing a mystical
connection.
Damn it at that moment too, it had given him a hard
on.
Peter couldn’t understand it still. He wanted Joe so badly and he wanted
Josefina so badly. Both of them had power! He could see it in their calm gazes,
in their posture, in the way they smiled but didn’t lose themselves. And they
were both so calm with him. They both understood him. The difference had been
that Joe was with his family and there was a barrier. Josefina had been his
alone, and now she wasn’t.
Her voice and face kept cutting into his mind as they sat on the
bench.
“Peter come on!” he heard Joe say, and that aroused him anew just to hear
his voice. “Keep your head in it, we’re gonna win this
one.”
Peter looked at Joe and nodded. To just touch his face with his fingers,
to just taste his skin....
On the ice in overtime is when it bit him. Peter was about to pass the
puck to Modano when he glanced up and saw Joe and suddenly felt that kiss on his
mouth again, that night on the mountain. It inflamed his senses and then....
Peter could only watch in horror as Jeremy Roenick stripped the puck off him and
went skating down the ice with it. No one was close to catching
him.
Patrick scuttled out to cut the angle and Jeremey whipped the puck
through his five hole and into the net sending the
He ignored his teammates and shrugged his shoulders as they made their
exit off the ice into the locker rooms. He could hear them cursing and
grumbling. He pushed past all of them and went straight to Patrick, feeling like
shit. Patrick had been so nice to him earlier and this was how he treated
him?
“Shit Patty I’m so sorry,” Peter said not looking into Patrick’s sparking
gaze. “There’s no excuse for me to have done that.”
“There’s no excuse for me opening my five hole like that,” Patty said
sharply. “Don’t apologize, I should have been there as
well.”
“Is she gonna keep it?”
Peter yawned into the phone, just hearing Deadmarsh was
comfort.
“Yeah,” he said. “She’s gonna keep it Adam.”
“And you don’t want her to?” Adam asked.
Peter sighed. “I don’t know!” he replied. “I mean, I love her as she is
right now. There’s a reason why I do, and it’s... well it’s not cause I ever
imagined her with a baby.”
“You said it Peter!” Deader exclaimed with a joyous tone, “You’re
decision is made!”
“What?” Peter exclaimed sitting up in the bed.
“What?”
“Love!” Adam barked. “You said you love her! Baby or no you belong to
her, and just remember that when you see her again. Love is
powerful.”
Peter’s heart almost died at that point when he saw the truth of those
words. And Patrick’s words went through him too. Just imagine life without her
and then ask yourself if you believe she has deceived you. What did it matter
what he thought?
“Adam it can’t be that simple!” Peter protested.
“Peter,” Adam replied, “sometimes it is.”
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