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Or Click the pic è to also enter the site. We don’t
care….just enter!
WARNING CL!!!
THIS IS THE SITE YOUR MAMA WARNED YOU ABOUT, THAT IF
YOU WENT TO, YOU'D GO TO HELL!!! HOW DO WE KNOW SHE SAID SUCH A THING......WE ASKED HER!!
AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!!!! We cruised hundreds if not ten(okay, maybe just one or
two) news sites and we decided, you know what, we could do that(if we really wanted to,
which we don't!) and from that moment on, the concept of Lesbian Lunch was born. We not
only report the news like those OTHER sites (*Cough* CNN *Cough*) do, we make the news(up
sometimes, when we're bored!)!!! So welcome to the only news site you will ever need(if
you're a reculse!). Our lawyers told us we needed to put in a disclaimer
right off the bat, to protect the sweet, the innocent, easily offended. First off, Lesbian
Lunch is the kind of site your mama warned you about. There's talk about *CENSORED FOR
YOUR PROTECTION* and enlarged *CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION* SO if you're offended by such
talk, our lawyers suggest you go to like CNN.COM or maybe even dare we say it,
DONKEYPORN.COM!! Hahaha!! Just kidding, don't go to either site, just go to Yahoo.com and
search for fluffy clouds and puppy dogs. God loves you(not really, he just sorta likes
you, you know, cause he has to! We didn't want to tell you but our lawyers made us!!
Stupid lawyers!!!) Also, our lawyers wanted us to say that Elvis did
NOT eat my alien baby really(yes he did) nor has the Elvis Presley Estate endorsed this
site(boo hoo hoo!!!) Also, CNN does not PHEAR OUR MAD SKILLZ(they do so!!
Bahahahahahahaa!) nor does Al Roker, Kathie Lee Gifford or even Regis know we exist(but if
they search for us, we hope they write...cause......WE LOVE YOU!!!!!) Okay, now that that's out of the way, we can say,
WELCOME, please, come on in, we've been waiting for you(not really, but lets pretend for
awhile!!)
Our Counter has Pizzazz!! |
WELCOME
We decided, to revamp the old Lesbian Lunch, with more porn than you can shake a stick at. Ha-ha. Just kidding, it’s still the same crappy web site you’ve come to not go to, you see us on the search engines but you’re just too afraid to click the link, well damnit, click the link!! Anyways, we haven’t updated this site in a long long time, just this front page, isn’t it wonderful what you can do with Microsoft Word?? Hurray!!! Anyways, we, mostly, me, a 37 year old recluse living in his parents’ basement aka The Editor, have decided to try once again to get back into the spirit of things, why, we’re still thinking about having t-shirts and g-strings with our faces on them to sell to you, the loyal fans of Lesbian Lunch. Won’t that make your lover swoon? Or your mom take away your computer privileges? She’s such a bitch sometimes. Anyways, hope you enjoy our little site. And remember…
WE LOVE YOU AL ROKER!! AND YOU TOO KATHIE LEE!!!!! AND ALSO REMEMBER, ELVIS ATE OUR ALIEN BABIES!! (it must be true, you’re reading it right here on the Internet and if you can’t believe the Internet, who can you believe? That’s right CNN!! And CNN says……
SARAH PALIN WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T READ
LESBIAN LUNCH!! Our lawyers told us we needed to say that she won’t really kill you if you don’t read us, but Dick Cheney might shoot you(okay, again, not really!!! Please send us money so we can stop writing lies and half truths about people we don’t even know. If you’re a celeb, even one of those Reality TV show peeps or hell, even a politician, we want to slee…I mean, speak to you and get your interview on our site. Remember, even if you don’t speak to us, we’ll still have your interview on our site, we’ll just call up someone like E! News and ask them for their throw away stuff and you don’t want that now do you?!) We’re just filling space now, so you can stop reading, unless you want to read our pleas for Conan O’Brien to have us polish his desk before every show. We’re not really fans, we’re just going for cheap hits and hoping and praying that some day Craig Ferguson will call us dirty media whores on his show. Please? We’re needy! I think it would also be cool if someone like Barbara Walters, who happens to be our friend over at Myspace.com(check us out there as well, add us, we need friends!!! Just go to http://www.myspace.com/lesbianlunch and add us!! OH PLEASE, WHY WON’T YOU ADD US? BARBARA WALTERS DID AND SHE’S COOL FOR IT!!!!!! Yeah, we’re desperate for a life, so sue us!!!) would say on her show, LESBIAN LUNCH IS A BUNCH OF COOL DUDES. You know, if she ever gets to this site and like wants to you know, make us feel special. Jay Leno could do that too, even though, we don’t have him on our Myspace page. We suck. Thanks…..
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