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| The Cast |
| Baron von Yauch Full Name: Baron Dah-veed von Yauchhhh (the extra 'h's are for pronunciation). Occupation: Baron of Yauch canton in Switzerland and somewhat-feared meglomaniac. Height: 5'8" Hair: Buzzcut to dissuade evil Black Forest Lice. Favorite Gadget: His obsolete Motorolla pager. Favorite Movie: My Best Friend's Wedding. ** The Baron prides himself as a force to be reckoned with when it comes to global domination, and he has proven himself since childhood. As a young boy of 8 years, The Baron single-handedly turned his rundown ophanage into the multimillion-dollar Swatch company, reknowned for its designer watches and SMART compact cars. Living now in deep seclusion in Northern Switzerland with his patsy Seig Kyle, The Baron continues to pursue his last remaining goals: complete control of the world's governments and a finding out if the lightbulb in refrigerators really do turn off after you close the door. |
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| Seig Kyle Full Name: Kyle Anderson. Occupation: Henchman of Baron von Yauch, part-time web designer, and movementarian. Height: 5'10" Favorite Gadget: Combination cell phone holder/wallet. "I most envision myself as a...": Dolphin. They're intelligent, playful, and ticklish. ** Seig Kyle first met The Baron through mutual friends in high school. The quintessential band geek, Kyle relished in the opportunity to expand his horizons. Always the dabbler, Kyle was the founder, leader, and demigod of the Feel the Flow movement that swept America and Canada in the last decade. Unfortunetly, a crackdown on organizations considered to be "pointless and idiotic" under the multinational What the Hell...? Accord of 2010 abruptly ended Feel the Flow. Angered that he no longer had a write-off on his tax returns, Kyle expatriated to Switzerland to work with The Baron in seeking his revenge on the world. In his spare time, Kyle enjoys playing outdated video games, drawing cartoon chickens, and flirting with beautiful, but accessable, women. |
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| Colonel Dreggors Full Name: Lieutenant Colonel Brian Dreggors, USAF. Occupation: Commanding officer of the 14th Special Combined Coalition. Height: 5'8" Noteable Feature: Youngest Lt. Col. in the Air Force. Vehicle of Choice: 2000 Pontiac Bonneville SSEi Biggest Accomplishment: Bringing OJ Simpson to justice. ** Brilliant, bright, and charasmatic, Col. Dreggors rose quickly through the ranks after his graduation from the USAF Academy in 2007, plateauing, unfortunetly, at the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. However, he insists everyone refer to him as Colonel to satisfy his ego. By taking the position as the C.O. of the 14th SCC, Col. Dreggors hopes to finally get his full-bird Colonel status. If he doesn't, he'll stop by a local Army-Navy store and get said rank. He is also mysteriously single. |
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| Robot Torres Full Name: Krupp CoffeePRO 5000. Occupation: Spunky robotic companion and CIA double agent. Height: 5'9" Most Resembles: Desi Arnez from I Love Lucy, or Bender from Futurama. Composition: High-tensile tungsten-aluminium alloy Most Embarassing Moment: Having quarters deposited in his memory slot by thirsty high schoolers. ** Durable, versitile, and affordably-priced, Robot Torres hails from Uncle Jose's Robot Factory and Tractor Repair in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Originally ordered by the Kingston Police in anticipation of the Wars of the Metal Ones that was much foretold by Jamaican mystics, Robot Torres is now an espionage-agent-for-hire for whoever has the fuller pocketbook. He sports a Puerto Rican flag and a dual tape reel for some reason. And even though he's a robot, he still needs glasses to see. |
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| More cast members! |