Situation: The Beatles, having been found just setting fire to their flat, were hauled off to the nuthouse for evaluation, & now they all sit in a room constrained by straight-jackets. But before anyone can find out they're all a bunch of psychos...
John: Fire, fire, fire...
Paul: Where did we go wrong?
Ringo: I think it might have been SETTING OUR FLAT ON FIRE!
Paul: We'll die in 'ere. I'll never shag another groupie again! DAMMIT!
Brian: Hey, will one of you loosen my straight-jacket? It's a bit tight.
Ringo: They're supposed to be tight for restraining psychos like John & keeping George from throwing jellybeans!
George: I'm not touching you, Brian, <hiccup> in fact, I think I'll throw up now...
Paul: In the corner, drunk!
(Paul kicks Geoge in the direction of the corner.)
George: <RREEETCH!> <BLLEEEEAAAAAHGGHHHH!!>
Brian: Eew...sick!
John: Fire, fire, fire...
Paul: Oh, sharrup John! There's no fire!
(Paul looks around at everyone else.)
Paul: Didn't we snap him out of it? Didn't we?
Ringo: Calm down. As long as you don't act like a fucking psycho, they just might let us out.
Brian: Look, the window.
(There is a psychiatrist and five white rabbits [or guards] looking at them through the window.)
Ringo: Oh good, actual people.
(Psychiatrist and white rabbits enter room.)
Psychiatrist: Hello, I'm Dr. Dick Rubbit and this is Sunny Nut Psychiatric Institution. Can you tell me your names?
John: Fire...
Paul: Paul McCartney.
George: <hiccup> George.
Ringo: Richard Starkey.
Dr. Rubbit: & a gay guy, I see. Aren't you guys in some kind of group?
George: We're the bloody fuckin' <hiccup> Beatles, man!
(Ringo manages to stand up and face Dr. Rubbit.)
Ringo(quietly): Look, George is piss drunk, John's a bit mad around fire, y'know, Paul an' me are alright & Brian's a little flitty, so could you just cut us a break or somethi-
Dr. Rubbit: No. Absolutely not; all of you must be evaluated at once and kept in separate quarters, especially Brian.
George: He's our manager, & our friend! <sob>
Paul: We're not insane! I promise!
(The Beatles and thier manager are dragged out & put in separate quarters.)
Ringo(thought): People aren't born psycho. They're made psycho by being alone in a creepy little padded room with a straight-jacket restraining your every movement.
John(thought): Fire, fire, fire...
George(singing elevator music): Doot doot doo, do do do doo, do do do doo...
Paul(in his mind): Paul...Paul; this is yer Dad speakin'!..Hands above the covers!
Paul(out loud): Sharrup! I don't need you anymore! I can see John if I want to! You're not the boss of me now! I don't want to be you! GO AWAY!
Paul's Dad: Someday, you'll be ugly like me & the girls won't like you!
Paul: SHUT UP!
(Silence, then a tapping sounds from the window.)
Paul: SHUT UP!
Muffled voice: Over here, Paul, your window!
(Paul stands up, & looks out the window that faces the garden.)
Muffled voice(American accent): Paul!
(Sees a girl with green eyes and long brown hair through the window.)
Paul: Hello, luv.
(Paul seems to regain some of his sanity.)
Girl: We're gonna get you out of here somehow. Where's the rest of you guys? Where's Ringo?
Paul: In the other rooms, next to me. Wait, don't go yet. Who's we? Who are you? What's yer name?
Girl: The name's Siobhan and you'll find all that other crap out later.
(Paul hears another American muffled voice say something about her shoulders hurting.)
Siobhan: See ya-AHH! Sarah, you dropped me!
(Paul still gazes out the window, trying to get her and her green-haired, brown eyed-friend to come back.)
Dr. Rubbit(looking at Paul through the door window): Talking to himself. Put that down in the notes & first thing tomorrow, Paul gets evaluated.
White Rabbits: Right boss.
(Outside with Siobhan & Sarah...)
Sarah: What're we gonna do? This might be one of the lower security institutions, but it's damn near impossible to breach!
Siobhan: You're the one who likes explosives!
Sarah: Well I wouldn't want to damage it too badly, even though blowing it to Klorh would be neat.
Siobhan: Wait! Idea, but you can't laugh.
Sarah: What?
Siobhan: Call your alter-ego Sid and tell her to wear a bikini and nothing but.
Sarah: She might steal Ringo; she's shorter than he is. She's also not one to be prancing around half-naked & she's always trying to get money to buy things for her creepy little island, anyway. You wouldn't want her to steal Ringo, would you?
Siobhan: Okay then, never mind. Wait, idea number 2 has arrived!
Sarah: Spill yer beans.
Siobhan: I'll be back...
(Siobhan runs into the building.)
Sarah: Siobhan! DAMMIT!
(10 minutes later...)
Siobhan(giggling): This might help! It's a ring from you-know-who worth enough to bribe the pants off anyone in that nuthouse!
Sarah: I don't know, Dr. Rubbit's prob'ly got a mind-control thing over the guards. Maybe I should call Sid & ask for some explosives...oh, but we'd have to wait 'till tomorrow. Hey, we could commit ourselves!
Siobhan: How 'bout just one of us? Or one on either end of the building so we each get 2 of 'em. & you get Brian.