(They begin to walk into the institution.)
Siobhan: You don't want to go in there wearing tight pants with your hair up.
Sarah: Why not?
Siobhan: You look like a guy. Brian is gay. No reason!
Sarah: Do not! Fine, I'm lettin' my hair down.
(At the reception desk, Sarah pulls out her handy replica pistol and puts it to her head.)
Siobhan: Hello there, I'd like to commit my friend here. She threatened to kill herself unless I do so.
Sarah: I'll do it, man! I also tried to kill her, & I just blew up someone's car!
Siobhan: I can vouch for that!
Secretary: Well I guess that qualifies you for commitment. Just fill out these forms.(thought): Yeah, being a psycho gets you in, but being a Yankee bastard sure as hell isn't going to get you out!
Sarah(acting as if she's talking to herself, but actually murmuring to Siobhan): You wait out back & I'll be there with George, Paul & Brian, then I'll regurgitate my tool kit & open the window so you can replace me for the time being.
Siobhan: How 'bout this?
(Siobhan writes a message on Sarah's arm in a cryptographic language only they can understand.)
Siobhan: Okay then, bye bye Sarah!
Sarah: Bye bye, Bhan-bhan!
(Sarah drops the gun & is led off by a white rabbit.)
Siobhan(thought): Hope that message sorts things out.
(Sarah reads the message. It says, "I'll pose as a doctor and get you guys out instead." Elsewhere...)
Brian(thought): Dammit, this is crap! I'm so lonely I'd settle for a strange girl to talk to me about explosives!
(Enter Sarah.)
Sarah: What's up? My name is Sarah & I'm a wierd kid who likes explosives.
Brian: Sounds like a cross between my worst nightmares & <sigh> John. So what are you in for?
Sarah: Shit! Shut up, it's that fuckin' doctor!
Dr. Rubbit: Ah! They seem not to have interacted yet. Possibly putting them all together with this girl in the same room would keep them, um, let's say sanely content. I have other things to do, so take care of that for me. Goodbye.
(Dr. walks away, the white rabbits herd the others into the room, then wait to take notes again.)
Ringo: Oh, hello. That byrd who took me seventh ring said something about an accomplice, but she said she was in a hurry & didn't talk much.
Paul: What'd she look like? Is she hot?
Ringo: Why? Not like she wants you. She winked at me, you know.
George: Shuttup, me headache's gettin' worse!
John: Stupid damned drunk.
Sarah: Not like any of you are any better off in this position. God, you'd think-
George: Thanks, honeypie!
Sarah(thought): I always get the wierd ones...
All: Honeypie?! Yuck!
Sarah: Actually, she was in a hurry to help bust you out. I have no fucking clue as to how she found out about this room, but then again-HEY! HANDS OFF DRUNKIE!
George: That wasn't me, babe! John's just a sex-starved shit head!
Paul: Have you ever wanted to be normal, George? We could use some help with these damned jackets, & all you can think about is lying to keep on the girl's good side! So whatcha gonna do 'bout helping us out, oh freed one?
John: Or in other words, I'm gonna kill you if you don't untie this thing NOW!
Sarah: Is that the "smart" one?
All except: Yeah.
Sarah: I'm going to puke now...
Brian: In the corner, like we did with George.
Paul (proudly): So men, whatcha think?
Ringo: Bulemia. She's definitely starting to become bulemic.
George: I think he was referring to the girl who he had set his fancy upon.
Ringo: Oh, right. The byrd's fine, I guess. <sigh>
Sarah: Shit! Fuck! Piss! Crap! It won't come out.
John: What?!
Sarah: Chase away those crapped-up white rabbits.
Ringo: Got it covered. John, look, I have a match!
John: Match? Gimme!
(John begins to search Ringo for the match.)
George: So sweetie, why do you need only our private audience?
Sarah: I'm trying to puke up a tool kit I swallowed because I didn't need it after all. Go away, yer wierd, & not in a good way, either. Play along with what's going on. You know, start trippin' about the match or something.
Paul: They left, now what? They said something about sedatives, so hurry.
Siobhan(at door window): Hello, folks! Brought back that ring too. Sorry 'bout this stupid suit.
John: Is this "the byrd", Ringo, Paul?
Paul: She works here?
Sarah: No, but it is your way out, so shut up!
Paul(muttering): Damned Yank...
Siobhan: Got the keys, too! The ass by the front door is still too dumb to realize he's-
Brian: Never mind that, let us out!
Siobhan: Wait, white rabbit alert!
White Rabbit: Who are you? Are you new?
Siobhan: Uh, I'm the um, new doctor, Doctor, uh, Lenacartney. I need these people to be evaluated by me, personally, ASAP, meaning I don't care what Dr. Rubbit says. These are now my patients.
W.R: Okay then, but Dr. Rubbit won't like it...
Siobhan: Screw him, just open the door.
W.R: Right. But what about the irrational behavior they displayed just now? Don't you need sedatives?
Siobhan: Do I look like I have any? Duh!
(White rabbit hands Siobhan, or "Dr. Lenacartney" some sedatives & Siobhan jams the needle into his arm.)
Siobhan: Goodnight dumbass. Here, the door's unlocked now.
Paul: Can I call her "Sunny"?
Brian: "Sunny"?
Paul: Because she's still in a good mood, even after she pulls a stunt like that.
Siobhan: No, I will not be called "Sunny", "Love", or anything else your strange & twisted mind can produce.
(Beatles & Co. get up and begin to head out the door.)