M. S: Ah, my fine short friend! You shall be the first lab-rat. Please come with me.
Ringo: Touch me & you will experience pain.
M. S: I�ll just use this laser that reduces whatever it touches to about three molecules on you!
Ringo: Show me where to go & I will follow! Just don�t hurt me!
Paul: Use it on him anyway!
John: Maybe he will later. Not now though.
Paul: Dammit!
M. S: Kindly step into that chamber there for me Ringo.
George: Allow me, I owe him.
(George shoves Ringo into the chamber & slams the door.)
John: Now what�s this for? Suicide booth? Time travel?
M. S: Actually it�s a cloning chamber. We take a small sample of the short one�s DNA, then replicate it. I noticed that his finger was gone but the clone will have the finger, unless by some freak of nature, his genes were altered by its absence.
Brian: By the way, where�s the finger? I mean it�s funny the first day or so to keep it from him, but I think the joke is over.
M. S: Time to turn on the machine.
(The Mad Scientist throws a switch, the machine charges up, makes a depressurizing noise & Ringo�s scream follows, then an electronic �ZAP!� sound is heard & the machine turns off. Lightning & thunder sound from the window.)
M. S: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!
John: Where�s the finger, Paul? You had it last.
Paul: Um, lemme check my pockets�um�oh yeah, I gave it to George.
(George starts digging in his pockets, going deeper & deeper all the way down his pant-leg.)
George: Can�t�find it! Hey, I think I found a shoe!...It�s stuck!
Paul: George, that�s your shoe, attached to your foot! You have a hole in your pocket.
(Mad Scientist opens the door to the chamber & Ringo stumbles out.)
Brian: Oh, I guess Ringo found his finger. Looks healed & everything too.
John: Well that�s the clone, then. Where�s the original?
M. S: He�s still in the booth. He�s dead, see?
Brian: Oh, great, now we have to find a new drummer!
Clone: What? I�m your drummer.
(John, Paul & George stare at the dead Ringo slumped in the corner of the booth.)
Paul: What did you do, you crazy old miney?
M. S: Don�t worry, it�s only a side-effect of this cloning process. It�s easily reversed with this machine over here.
John: Well are there any side effects of that one we should know about, like more death?! Dammit man, you killed our drummer!
M. S: Only temporarily. Bring him over here. Put him on the platform.
(They put him on to the platform of the machine, which is basically an operating table with a huge motor attached to one end & wires coming out of the motor with long metal needles attached to the end of the wires.)
George: What are those wires for?
M. S: High voltage electrical wires. They should pump enough electricity through his body to start his functions working again.
Brian: Should?!
(The Mad Scientist shoves the needles into Ringo�s major arteries. The others watch in horror.)
M. S: Here we are. Flip that switch on the motor there, George.
John: Oh no, George doesn�t have good experiences with motors.
George: Yeah, I just keep burning my fingers.
Paul: I�ll do it. We want our drummer back, right?
(Paul flips the switch, the motor begins to whirr, then a huge bolt of electricity illuminates Ringo�s body into life, also causing him to scream & signifying his being alive.)
George: If Siobhan could see you now!
(Ringo sits up & realizes his hair is standing on end.)
Ringo: What happened? Hey, when did the impersonator get here? You�re just about the best I�ve ever seen! What�s your name, son?
Clone: What? I�m not an impersonator! How dare you?!
Ringo: Hold on, Mr. Scientist, what exactly was I in that booth for?
M. S: You have been cloned-
Paul: & murdered-
John: Explaining those wires coming from your arms & legs, which are really grotty-looking..
Ringo: Don�t remind me. It hurts.
Brian: Take them out then.
George: I�ll help!
Ringo: No! I don�t need to be bleeding along with it!
M. S: This has worked better than I thought! Now, I could become immortal & RULE THE WORLD! HA HA HA HAAA!!!!
Brian: No you won�t. Your machines are worth crap. You needing two machines to accomplish the total cloning procedure creates a marketing dilemma. See, I�m not only their manager but their salesman too. I know about selling stuff-
John: Like our souls?
Clone: Whoa, whoa, whoa�wait a minute, wait a sec! Who am I? Which Ringo?!
M. S: You are the clone. See, you have all of your fingers. That is the real one on the table.
Clone: Then I�m just some copy? Some insane parody?
Paul: Well not that�
M. S: Look, it is understandable you feel this way but you are still a separate person!
(The Mad Scientist takes out the needles from Ringo�s arms & legs, which don�t bleed at all since the needles were so narrow.)
Clone: What am I going to do with my life?
John: You can stand in for a while until Ringo gets his finger back on.
M. S: Well actually since the original has no finger & the clone does, & clones have no rights, we should do a transplant.
Clone: No it�s still my finger!
George (Aside to John): Which finger is the one the Mad Scientist would chop off of the clone?
John: Um, that one there on the end.
George: �Kay.