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10/14/02
I just got back from a wonderful trip home to Atlanta. The Jump Little Children concert on Friday was amazing. They hadn't seemed as personable here in Columbia a few weeks back, but in Atlanta they were the same ol guys, telling jokes, talking to the audience and whatnot. The totally acoustic version of Cathedrals at the very end was enough to make you cry. They played this one song that I've heard them play before....their "Queen song," but I don't know what it's called....anyway, I really like that song and I don't know what it's called. I saw this guy at the show that i KNOW I've seen before. Isn't that the worst feeling?! Not just that he's familiar but i know I've seen him somewhere. Maybe he's in some band that's opened for some other band i've seen. Maybe I've just seen him at other Jump shows. Either way, it's killing me. Had lots of ear piercings, a lip ring, dark hair with bleached streaks in it, wore all black...so...if you're him....or you saw him too....maybe I'm not crazy...
Anyway, I can't ever take anything for granted about home again. I actually took pictures of the Atlanta skyline at night. Pictures! Of my own home! craziness. There was just something really sad about leaving, more so than last time I was home. It's more than just missing it. I dunno, I can see how you could go crazy living in Columbia for too long. But it's cold here! Actually cold!! I wore a sweatshirt! Yay! I'm listening to the Tinkers Punishment cd from their website right now. They opened for Jump and I haven't made up my mind about them yet. They're not bad. Not bad. I have mucho amounts of studying to do. I have a feeling the Psych exam on thursday will NOT go well.

10/24/02
I've been so messed up with dates lately. I had no idea what today was. Jeez. Friday was kickass, Juli and I went to uncle doctors to see a bunch of bands play and we ended up hanging out with the guys from two bands all night and now we're heading to atlanta on tuesday to see them play! weeeee! it's gonna be SO much fun. 'cept for the part about driving straight there in time to see the show, then driving straight back in time for wednesday classes. talk about balancing of social life and academics. i could frickin TEACH university 101. yaaaay I'm so excited! SO. EXCITED. And by the way, Clay, you're my hero.

10/27/02
sometimes things happen that make you wanna do stuff like this. or make you feel like this. or like this, too.

10/31/02
It's cold outside. Happy Halloween!
The roadtrip to Atlanta was interesting -- all in all Jules and I had a grand ol time. No sleep for over 24 hours makes you all delirious-like. My birthday is in 29 days!

11/10/02
Caroline's To Do List:
1. go to russell (check mail, get food, etc)
2. study for ANTH
3. read some ARTH
4. do laundry
5. bash head against desk at least once because, although boys are very simple creatures, you will NEVER figure out what the hell is going on.

11/19/02
To transfer or not to transfer? THAT is the question on my mind every waking minute of the day now. Night, too, and I'm losing sleep over it.
BUT. I have my car now!! My dad is awesome and drove it over today. Oh, I'm so happy to be reunited with her!! Driving around today was the best feeling I've had in a while. I can't wait to go home for thanksgiving. It's gonna kick so much ass. Good food, friends and family, chiropractor, hair cut, sleep in my big bed AND THE LONGEST HOTTEST BUBBLE BATH IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!!!! I'm actually in physical pain because I haven't been able to relax in the tub in so long. SIGH. oh jeez, hearing big news now, must go.

11/24/02
Yeah, so I took a personality test in Univ. Here are the results:
"You present a calm, pleasant face to the world and are seen as reticent and even shy. You have a profound sense of honor derived from internal values. You seek unity in your life, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect. You prefer to value process over logic. At work, you are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, you are well aware of people and their feelings, and you relate well to most. As mates, you have deep commitment to your pledges, you like harmony. Your home is your castle and you do not budge from your ideals."
So I was skeptical before I got this back. I think it's pretty dead-on.

oh GOD only 4 more days till my birthday and only 2 more days till i go HOME.
I'm tired of being sad, so I'm just going to stop. Being sad, that is. They teach you in psychology that learned behavior can be altered and replaced. So it's time to think positive. So GnR's "Sweet Child of Mine!!!!"

12/1/02
Man, November flew by. I turned 19 on Thanksgiving, which added a nice touch to being home. Driving home today had its advantages (being by myself with my own music) and its disadvantages (3 bazillion cops crawling around out there). But the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, I do believe. I've been very touchy lately, maybe because I'm tired, but just being around people stresses me out. What I need to do is get my own apartment to which I can retreat whenever the outside world is too much. So I was thinking that if i did in fact transfer, I'd still live in a dorm...but maybe not. Went out for coffee with Joey Manguno last night and we had one of the best, longest conversations I've had with anyone in a really long time. Got 3 of my favorite movies in the whole world for my birthday. Not sure when I'll get around to watching them, but soon enough, I'm sure. If anything I'll just take them back home at Christmas. Lots of good food at home, nice big bed, super extra long bubble bath... Oh yeah, I may have an idea of what I want to do with my life.

12/15/02
Hey hey hey look who's back in the ATL. It gets weirder every time I come home. Columbia, as much as I hate to admit it, is becoming home. Not that I really want to live there after college. Yeah so tomorrow I go back to high school for a day to speak to all the juniors and seniors (who don't give a crap) about college decisions. Well here's what I noticed once I left high school: the world is full of a bunch of idiots. I mean I had a sneaking suspicion all along that humanity was lacking in intelligence, common sense, and the like, but once i left my little bubble, i was slapped in the face with the truth of that. Watching the news again is so weird. I don't watch tv at school much at all. and the only newspaper i get a chance to pick up is the school paper. I finally heard about all this nonsense with Trent Lott (SEE???! didn't i tell you people the man was an idiot when i did my gov't presentation on him last year?), Al Gore not running for president, and the stuff (that's specific, isn't it?) happening in Venezuela. I met two Venezuelen guys last weekend and they said they couldn't go back over the break because of 'the situation at home.' I nodded, not knowing what they were talking about. Right, so anyways, I ran into Emily Steinichen at the Lettuce Lounge. How weird was that. It was cool, is what it was. It was just so good to see her. I'll have to pay her a visit in Charleston sometime. Must go Christmas shopping soon. Going to see Jump at Eddie's Attic on the 19th. I've never been there. Should be awesome. Megan left USC for good. She's transferring to a school back up in NYC. I miss her fiercely already, and hope hope hope she does well. She better realize that I'm coming to visit. Uh, sometime. I've fallen hardcore in love with Bright Eyes. 'Oh you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet' is my new favorite love songish song. I don't have any good music on my comp here at home, maybe you could send me some? And take me to a movie while you're at it. Buy me some coffee too, dammit.

12/18/02
It's technically the 19th now, but bugger off. I just saw Lord of the Rings and it was so kickass!! Oh! All the battle scenes!! And the glorious part at the end when *coughcoughcough* oh it was great!!! And Orlando Bloom, I'm in love with you. Either you or you as Legolas. Either way. If you'd like to take time off your busy acting schedule, I'd be more than happy to show you around either Atlanta or Columbia, or hell, I'll show you around anywhere, can I just touch you? And can you wear the blonde hair? Yeah....wooo. No, but really, the battle scenes were amazing, total eye candy, and orlando bloom really is hot, eye candy as well. i'm tired and beginning to ramble. jump little children is tomorrow/today at eddie's attic!!!!! be there!!! charles left me a message from jump's concert tonight in columbia @ senate park, which was cool, and matt left me 2 text messages, one of which said his fish ran away. right. so today i watched that double dvd set "An Evening with Kevin Smith." It's possibly one of the funniest things I've seen lately. 194 solid minutes of Q&A with Silent Bob. He tells some of the greatest stories, especially about Prince, Jason Mewes, and some 'kooky' producer -- and on top of that he makes fun of Tim Burton, once referring to him as 'artsy fartsy,' which, in and of itself, is hysterical. And he's intelligent, so when he mocks others, it's twice as amusing. Who knew silent bob could talk for so long? i watched wet hot american summer last night with cory. that movie is hysterical. mainly because most of it leaves you asking 'what the hell is going on here?!?' yeah, janeane garafalo, paul rudd, david hyde pierce, and some other great people are in it. i'm saving stripes to watch at a later date, as it's not one of the two due back tomorrow before noon (curses!! i was going to sleep in! this will be one of those ugly mornings during which i roll out of bed and stumble to the car in order to get the movie in on time, promptly returning home to bed for another few hours before society demands i shower).
forgive tonight's poor writing skills. puhleeeease!
oh...and scroll down to 11/24's entry....on that day, this here lil website turned a big ol' two years old!

12/27/02
Well how was Christmas, kiddies? Get any good stuff? Turns out I'm heading to florida [tallahassee] for new years, should be interesting. oh who will i plant a kiss on when the clock strikes 12??? OH WHO? hehe. i swear i have the potential to be deep and insightful. sometimes. apparently the city of atlanta now has its very own urban outfitters. i must go there. too bad it's at a faraway mall that i never go to. actually it's just at lenox. but the 'i never go there' part still holds. la femme nikita reruns are being shown on oxygen. how cool is that?? i've been watching. worsipping. i loved that show. more so in the beginning. oooh but the episode i saw today was the one where nikita has to fight this other chick to the death in a big tank of water and michael comes in and shoots the bad guys. woooo. not much else is going on. i must drag myself to the mall to blow my gift certificates, and tomorrow is as good a day as any. i hate the mall. michael, reid, park, and michael's little bro stopped by today. that was cool. those guys are endlessly entertaining. park looks like such a cool boston cat, i hadn't seen him in a long while. michael's still michael, only skinnier, which i didn't know was possible. reid's still WACKO, hehe. And michael's little brother insisted on telling us 'jokes' about 'cubic hair.' it wouldn't be funny if he wasn't 8 years old. or...maybe it would be.

[several missing entries here because my computer hates me sometimes.]

1/19/03
um. i've been bored lately, and somewhat lonely, to tell you the truth. downtown's not fun anymore, really, and even the house party last night was boring as crap. i wouldn't mind just cuddling with someone, as retarded as that sounds, and watching a movie or listening to some good music. i'm ready for something big and important to happen. i feel like something's about to happen, i just don't know what. maybe i can just sense the massive amounts of work i'll be doing this semester. well, whatever it is, i'm ready for it. maybe...

1/20/03
Are you from Georgia?
Are you from Atlanta?
Are you still from Atlanta?
Are you really from Atlanta?
Are you still really from Atlanta?

those are all basically the same, they just each have a few different points.

1/25/03
ezrae268: going to the show last night did something to my head
xxxxxxxxxx: are you going to dye your hair black caroline?
ezrae268: hahahahaahaha!
ezrae268: yeah.
ezrae268: and cut it really short
ezrae268: so that parts stick up to make it look like i didn't really spend 20 minutes gelling it
xxxxxxxxxx: see you already know so much
ezrae268: and instead of just wearing my messenger bag as my bookbag, i'll wear it all the time
ezrae268: even tho nothing will be in it
ezrae268: and i'll buy some converse all stars
ezrae268: and sew patches all over my bag
ezrae268: and i'll stop liking all music that anyone else has ever heard of
xxxxxxxxxx: and start crying instead of laughing
ezrae268: and ooh! i'll wear my thick-rimmed glasses all the time too instead of just after i take my contacts out at night
ezrae268: and stop wearing all makeup except for maybe lots of black eyeliner
ezrae268: and i'll try to be as apathetic as possible
xxxxxxxxxx: this is quite a to do list caroline
ezrae268: yeah
ezrae268: i better get started on that
ezrae268: first, the hair
ezrae268: it's way too light and way too long
ezrae268: it must be emoed!

2/4/03
Men who drive Miatas: either gay or going through a midlife crisis and can't afford a real sports car.
There's nothing like walking around campus and suddenly hearing, "Hey Shawty! Shawty! Can you give a brotha a ride to the stadium?" I looked around, thinking, Surely he can't be talking to me, I'm a hapless little white girl. "Look at her, looking around, yeah I'm talking to you!" I said, Well maybe if I had a car!
I'm such a liar.
Scary, scary rain when I woke up. Beautiful, beautiful day when I emerged from my bio lab. Why are so many sorority girls skanky bitches?
Went to Dunkin Donuts with Lu last nite, but alas it's Columbia, and they closed at 10. Not even McDonalds is open then, either. So went to Krispy Kreme. Then to Adriana's, where I saw that someone had keyed my hood. Went to the post office today and mailed a package.
I'm about ready to boycott waking up.

2/9/03

2/17/03
Why can't I ever like anyone conveniently? I always manage to pick the most inconvenient people...oh well, it's still fun, right? right.

3/4/03
OK, OK, I'm updating! Happy March Fourth, Dad!
if ever there was something that brought my childhood flooding back to me, it would be the song "Your love is lifting me higher" by Jackie Wilson. I just remember dancing in front of the jukebox to that and being totally happy.
Had quite the fun weekend this past, uh, weekend. Thursday I saw Jump Little Children for the 13th or 14th time. Friday, Lauren, Juli, and I drove to Carrboro, NC to See Rilo Kiley, which was AMAZING. But that show made me glad I'm not really in that scene, I just like the music. The majority of the people in there were assholes who were too cool to sing along or even move the slightest bit. So naturally, the three of us stood out. Jenny saw us singing along to every word, and she watched me sing with her for the longest time! We smiled at each other at one point and I could feel myself glowing!! haha So during With Arms Outstretched, she comes offstage and walks right up to us, leans in, and the four of us sang part of the song. SCREW THE SCENE KIDS. hahaha. we talked to her after the show, got our picture taken with her, and told her that we were from Columbia. Juli told her that she and I had been at their show at NBT and Jenny said that that had been an awesome show and Columbia kids must be really bored and get no good shows because they'd been going nuts. So then we spent the night in a ghetto-ass HoJo. Think miscellaneous stains, no knobs or labels on the heater, no toilet paper...but hey, I'm not complaining. We got up the next morning and drove to Charlotte, where I saw Jump Little Children for the 14th or 15th time. We'd planned to walk around Charlotte to kill time (we had a LOT of time to kill), but alas, it was cold and rainy, so we sat in Starbucks for a few hours watching a crazy homeless lady wave an unlit cigarette in the air while reading each other the Cranium cards. Ask us anything, we know it all. Jump was awesome, but their show in Columbia last thursday was still way better. The crowd had more energy than I've ever seen at one of their shows, and that's the sweatiest I've ever been at a jump show. I've also never danced and thrashed around quite that wildly before, but it looks like it's a new tradition, as i "danced" like a maniac in charlotte, too. Sunday night was Maroon 5 here in columbia, a great show, really fun. Another sweaty show. We were 2 people back from the stage, which allowed for the HOTTT singer to have eye sex, yes EYE SEX, with my roommate the entire time. I was so proud. I've brought my Lauren not only into the world of live music, but into selective groupiedom as well. You wouldn't believe this guy (the singer). Holy crap. you know the phrase 'sex in high heels'? well he's sex in, uh, a shirt. wow. and we've all agreed the singer for tinkers punishment is more than easy on the eyes as well. lauren didn't believe me before she'd seen them open for jump, but i'd talked to the guy outside senate park one night and woooo boy, i assure you he's not too shabby. what else is not unmentionable? hm. well i have my english 285 midterm tomorrow and have yet to read frederick douglass's biography.
everyone should be so lucky to get a phone call at 2 AM from michael, clay, and andreeeew.
ok time to read that biography!

3/30/03
Oh for the love of god i'm updating, i'm updating! Mostly for Matt, because he won't stop bugging me otherwise. Bugging me in a good way, of course. My life's been going along, with its obligatory ups and downs. I love the word 'obligatory.' This past weekend was awesome. Friday was the phi sig toga party. saturday was the infamous Carolina Cup. Lots of horses and people in nice clothes, among other things. Grrrreat brownies. Almost got to witness a fight between Juli's ex boyfriend and this big ol' dad, which would have been awesome had we not been leaving at the time. I rode in a truck bed for the first time in my life. Apparently living in the suburbs of Atlanta, I get denied basic human rights such as truck bed riding. Who knew? Saturday night was the semi formal. Well, it WOULD have been the semi-formal, had we not run into one small problem. Lauren and I both got back to the dorm with just enough time to wipe the dried sweat off, put on some fresh deoderant and perfume, run a brush through our hair, get our dresses on, and tear outta here. Hell, I still had my sunglasses on top of my head. God I looked GOOD too haha. We hopped in the car and followed the sketchy directions to where we thought this place was, but ended up on some godforsaken dark windy road. i looked at lauren and asked how badly she REALLY wanted to go to the semi formal, because i had NO idea how we got on the road we were on, had no idea how to get BACK to the road we started on, and the ramp to the highway was right in front of us. So we went back to the dorm and fell asleep at 1030. Woke up this morning around 11, ate breakfast, went back to bed until 3. The weekend before I was back in Atlanta to recover from some bad luck here in columbia and to see Jump Little Children for the 16th time at the good ol' Variety Playhouse. Great show of course, but the Atlanta crowd was pretty reserved compared to when I'd seen them here in Cola Town. So I jumped and flailed and sang and screamed and jumped and fell in love with them again just like I do every time I listen to/see them. After an entire school year of shows at New Brookland and Senate Park, the Variety Playhouse looked HUGE. Like, stadium huge, haha. I got to see Cory, Jessica, and Clay at the post-concert Waffle House run. I'm getting the last of my NYC pictures back tomorrow. Oh,that's right, I went to NYC over spring break which was so unbelievably kickass. Walked around a ton, went shopping, saw ANjali and Megan, went to the Museum of Sex. Staying at Emily's apt in the village was AWESOME. I would be in serious debt if i lived there, she has way too many awesome stores aound her. We ALMOST got into see Conan Obrien, but not quite. Brandon snores like a mofo. Philip, Emily's cat, has conversations with us. And Mike was happy to discover a new way to tie his scarf. Tomorrow morning, Lauren and I have to get up around 6 to pick up Krispy Kreme donuts to deliver to people around our dorm for the phi sig fundraiser we did. UGH. Thank god i slept till 3 today! hahaha. Man am I sunburned from the cup. holy crap, i can't really lift -- or move -- my arms. Nicely baked to a pinkish purple. Jeez, what have i left out? Lat week was the week from hell, as was the week before. I had three exams. Yuck. But the weather here is beautiful now. It's harder to hate Columbia when everything is green and it's warm outside. But of course, in a complete reversal, today was 45 degrees and rainy. What gives?? My dad retires at the end of April and we're going to Florida to celebrate! WOOO!!! warm weather and a bathing suit at the pool. As my body has not reached 'bikini status' yet, pray for me that there's nobody worthy of trying to impress. hehe. mm sun. pool. nice hotel. that'll be great. Just to let you know: if my website's been crapping out on you lately, it just means that the traffic is heavy or something, i don't know, geocities has stopped emailing me notices to let me know that the site's been shut down because it happens all the time. try looking at it in the morning or something, i don't know. Ok, i'm outta here.

4/13/03
I have a rather large english paper due tomorrow, hence i'm online updating my website. All the slats just fell out of my closet door. *sigh* Man, what a weekend. All the Phi Sigs went to Athens for a great old time. Some of the highlights include.... FRIDAY: changing in the gas station bathroom, the Phi Sig PRIVATE PARTY (hahaha oh jeez), me puking behind some apartment complex, Bethany leaving Broad St Bar & Grill with some creepy dude in transitions lenses (if you're gonna go home with somebody from a bar, pick somebody hot!!), walking around athens forever trying to find mike g's car, driving around for about an hour trying to find the apt we were going to be staying at all weekend after squeezing about 10 of us into a waffle house booth and making friends with some random guys sitting behind us, then eventually getting to the apt and falling uncomfortably asleep on the floor curled up next to the computer. SATURDAY: woke up feeling unpleasant only to have to go and stand outside for a few hours for 'field day' type activities, i watched everyone play kickball while praying for shade, ate two hot dogs while thanking whatever merciful power that i had worn shorts, played a kickass retarted game of volleyball (yeah, i still gotz the skillz), went back to the apt and slept through Clerks (so it's STILL the only kevin smith movie i haven't seen), took an ICE COLD shower (way too many people for the amount of hot water available) while thinking to myself 'this is so warm, this is so warm, it feels so good' and almost convincing myself that was the truth, putting on my awesome dress and going to the semi formal, dancing for a while, coming back to the apt and watching in open-mouthed amazement "Talk Sex With Sue" on the oxygen network (it's this old woman giving graphic sex advice,....that's somebody's grandmother!!!), then heading to the after party at this little guy's house. That's where the real fun started. Let's just say that my roommate and i can now officially and honestly say that we have jello wrestled and showered together!! haha. they filled up a baby pool with jello and lauren and i tore it up. my clothes are still stained and soaking wet in a plastic bag. my skin was bright red, but hey, the jello made my skin shiny! "One Phi Sig's body jello is another Phi Sig's body jello!", came back to the apt, went to sleep immediately and planned to get up sunday morning for the big breakfast at 9. BUT..... SUNDAY: woke up around 11 after sleeping in an awkward position on the couch all night. So much for breakfast, but YAY FOR SLEEPING!! Lauren, Bethany, and I tore out of there only to circle the black hole that is the highway surrounding athens for what seemed like forever. I ate an entire pint of Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream on the way, and i'm not even PMSing!! 'If you eat half a pint of ice cream, you're a pig. Eat the whole thing and you're a CHAMPION!!' I certainly felt like it. Ok, well here i go to start that english paper and order some dinner (i'm sorry, i just don't want to eat bates food right now....).

4/14/03
Ok, so mission: giant english paper was accomplished, granted at around 11 this morning. My allergies have officially returned with a vengeance. My head felt like it was gonna explode today from the sinus pressure. I carried around a roll of toilet paper all day to blow my nose with. Fun times. Technically I should be studying for bio, but who's keeping track? Man, athens is a cool town. I'm such a dork, i'm already planning out how i'd like to decorate where we're living next fall. i'm gonna hit up junkman's daughter (and every other place in little 5) as soon as i get back to atlanta this summer. i wasn't planning on going home for easter, but apparently i am now, because my baby cousin is getting baptized on sunday. i can't miss that! thank god we don't have school next monday. jesus this year is almost over, can you believe it? where did the time go? i'm so psyched to make the scrapbook with all the pictures and whatnot that i've accumulated over the school year. it's gonna rock. i found the scrapbook i want at walmart. so look out. yeehaw. so i wish i could breathe through my nose. because all i want is some chocolate, but i can't taste anything. damn the luck! heading to eckerds to pick up my pictures tomorrow, getting some nice soft kleenex (as opposed to toilet paper), maybe some medicine too. need to hit up the mall too i guess to buy some new shorts that fit. heading to florida the last weekend in april to celebrate dad's retirement (did i already tell you that?). should be fun. i tried to take a nap earlier, but my mouth kept closing, in turn suffocating me. needless to say the nap was not entirely successful. friday is the pawnshop/ryan beville tribute concert at new brookland tavern. time to put the past aside and go support old friends, eh?

4/21/03
WHAT? Conor Oberst and Winona Ryder!? AAAGGGH, stupid slut!
Was in Atlanta over the weekend, discussed with mother how we never get good thunderstorms in south carolina, neglected to knock on wood, south carolina is getting major thunderstorm currently. SWEET! regular rain is a bummer, but thunderstorms are the shiznit. Summer could not come soon enough, i'm not really bummed that this year has flown by. You can look forward to a year in review once i'm back home and done with finals/moving out. Highlights to expect: don't EVER get involved with guys in bands, don't forget to sleep (never underestimate the value of naps), and... um... seize every opportunity to take a road trip. especially if it's to follow your favorite bands.

4/29/03
Dad's retirement weekend and final flight were awesome. We went to Ft Lauderdale and had a mini reunion of sorts. Two aunts, an uncle, a brother, a grandmother, a mom and dad, and moi. In spite of the rain, we still had a great time. On dad's final flight from West Palm Beach to Atl, he spoke on the PA for a bit and i definitely got choked up a bit. right after we landed, the family went up to the cockpit to watch them spray water over the plane. we all took buttloads of pictures. it was great. i'm so proud of my daddy.
first final is tomorrow (bio) and it shouldn't be TOO bad. Butch Walker is saturday night and cory, sean, and brad are coming in from atlanta to go with me! weeee! should be a blast. and apparently atlanta got hit with an earthquake. atlanta. georgia. man, i wish i could've been there! haha i will be soon, though. last final is may 7 and i'm outta here that same day. my room is looking really depressing. lauren's taken everything down from her side already, and i've taken most of mine down. left some pictures up so as not to be totally depressed by the white cinderblock walls. i put all my movies and books in my suitcase and can barely lift it. FANtastic. oh well, i have work that needs attending to, have a GREAT day.

5/10/03
Back! Well I've been back, technically. But we all know how frequently I update. Um...Whereas before boxes were cluttering up the dining room, now I've begun to "organize" and it looks as though those boxes threw up everything i own. but i'm making progress. sort of. maybe for mother's day i'll stay up all night and finish moving the rest around and out of sight. and then maybe i'll just go to bed.

5/17/03
I have no idea what day it is anymore. The 17th. Very good. Right, so i saw the matrix last night. great fighting, great love story...where was the plot? but that's ok, I mean it's not like Keanu had many lines. he mainly had a lot of intense gazes so as not to screw up what little storyline there actually was. but now he can...fly. so now he's this stoic, flying dude in a long black coat that, personally, i think is pretty cool.
i had my first sequanota dream of the summer season. just dreamt that lake charlevoix was super clear and blah blah blah it's not very interesting. i ran this morning. i'm a lazy slob. i almost didn't make it out of bed, but i haven't run in the past two days so i felt all mushy. MUSHY. Jonathan is coming to visit tomorrow! weeeeee!!!

5/19/03
holy CRAP they just played a Jump Little Children song ("cathedrals") on some WB show!! i heard the song coming from the den where my mom was watching tv and i hauled ass in there expecting to see some glorious, unannounced televised JLC special...but it was just a WB show. Everwood, to be exact. That's so cool.
Since when do all the restaurants on the Marietta Square close from 2 till 6??!?! What about those ravenous people who want to eat at 4?? I cut Jonathan's hair today. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow (by a professional).

5/24/03
funny, the things that remind you of your childhood. first it was that song "your love is lifting my higher," and now this, a jar of colored sand. you know those glass jars you fill with different colored sand for artistic purposes when you're little? Well I was clearing stuff off a shelf down here in the basement and I came across one of those things that I made a looooong time ago, and I didn't have the heart to throw it out. It's mostly blue sand with a bunch of red specks, but I'm sure there was some sort of design at one point. It's strange when nostalgia for that time in my life just pops up out of nowhere. When a jar of sand was just as good as any Monet.

5/26/03
i had coffee tonight at cafe intermezzo with cory and diane and i haven't had coffee in a long time so i'm all jittery and wired now but nobody's around even though i'm wide awake still and my pee smelled like coffee, does that happen to you when you drink coffee? and my head's spinning a little haha and i feel the need to run around in circles oh why isn't anyone around to hang out?
no one's around. poo.

5/31/03
OK, so Butch Walker was awesome in athens on thursday. so great. i wasn't as hyped up about it as i should have been because all i had in my mind was his stint at the tiny coffee shop in columbia, which was SWEET, but not very exciting. he totally rocked out this time and i CAN'T WAIT to see him here at the variety playhouse on the 7th. we were walking down the street in athens before the show and i saw this hot guy and his girlfriend walking towards us and i was like, look at that guy trying to look like butch walker....wait...oh my god...!!! haha it was Butch and cory and I had a very major freakout right there on the street, complete with squealing, hyperventilating, and jumping up and down. Of course we didn't actually talk to him. No way! haha it's like that time i saw Matt Bivins from JLC in L5P. They're my gods, idols, etc. I couldn't talk to them. Well i mean i DID talk to Butch in columbia...well yeah but ok whatever.

6/7/03
Oh my god, I love Butch Walker. Butch Walker, I love you. We waited after the show tonight and he signed my belt (i KNEW there was a reason i bought a white belt the other day!!). Mike took a picture of me with Butch. I took a picture of Mike with Butch as they flicked off the camera. I am in love. The show was awesome, if you leave out the part where two of the grossest people were making out behind cory and i the entire time. they were doing that sloppy kissing, the kind that sounds like a dog licking itself. the stage was set up all snazzy with candles and there was a two-song marvelous 3 reunion during which they played every monday and freak of the week. oh GOD. sigh.

6/15/03
such drama lately! my goodness, when it rains it pours around here. very few good things are happening to me right now, it seems.
anyway
I HAVE A BROTHER!!!! haha, happy?

6/25/03
Happy birthday Cory!!!!!! Cory turned 19 yesterday.
I started summer school yesterday. Boring as hell but i have a two bedroom dorm all to myself complete with kitchen and full bathroom!
Go here and read my Freshman Year in Review. Finally got that done.

6/28/03
Man, that's just great. After experiencing unbelievable pain in the mouth region, my mom drove up here to Demorest to get me. This morning I went to the tooth doctor's office and the only problem was that i had food stuck all in my sockets. How gross is that? So I have to stick to the jello and pudding and squirt water into my sockets with this plastic syringe the doctor gave me. PLEASANT. yeah i took a percoset yesterday, got home, puked my guts out, went to bed at 730 until my mom woke me up the next morning at 9. ok anyway, i'm up here at summer school in the middle of nowhere, but it's really not that far from atlanta, so somebody please come visit me!! I'm coming home next weekend for 4th of july, but considering the weekend after that, too, because Hot Hot Heat is playing the Cotton Club on the 11th. Anybody wanna go? jesus it's boring here. my car died on thursday, the battery had just crapped out finally. picked it up today. ummm....i'm sorta spaced out, i think i slept too much last night. so i'll go do my econ homework!

6/29/03
I hate watching High Fidelity on tv, which is what I'm doing anyway because there's a definite lack of anything better to do. They leave out all the funny parts, edit out all the dirty words, and whatnot. I'm really not used to not having people around. I'm getting tired of listening to the guy who lives below me's music. but we play our music in shifts. most of mine is when i wake up and then in the early afternoon and then in the time before i go to bed some nights. his is in the time in between. somtimes i turn mine on really loud when his gets annoying, just to say "hi, i live here too and i play music too and mine's probably better so SHUT UP SOMETIMES, WOULDJA?"

7/2/03
The weirdest thing has happened. I don't know what you'd call it other than a change in attitude. I'm up here for summer school in Demorest, GA, not exactly the most hopping place in the country, and things were looking grim. Then tropical storm Bill (vicious, scary name, by the way) came through and it's been raining for days. I woke up this morning in pain from my teeth and still tired and assumed it would be another ho-hum day. But it stopped raining. And I was able to stop looking at the girl in my Econ class as a jerk who kept interrupting the teacher. I mean sure, she still rudely interrupts and says random, stupid things to draw attention to herself, but I'm not annoyed by her because it's not my problem. It's my problem in that she disrupts our small class but it's NOT my problem in that I'm not the one in therapy with ADD and a rough family life. Basically, she's her own problem. It's hard to explain and sort of comes out the wrong way. But I think what you have to realize about people is that they do things for their own reasons and you can't be expected to understand them. If someone's a jerk to you, most likely it's because of something that person is dealing with, or maybe the way they were raised, not because of something you did. That girl in my class interrupts and draws attention to herself because she thinks it's in her best interest. Maybe she realizes she's being rude, maybe she doesn't. But she's not a bad person just because she acts this way. She just doesn't know any better.
Then I went to the Winn Dixie to get OJ and bananas. As I was going through the line, the check out lady said, "Oh, isn't this the best orange juice?" I agreed even though I only bought it because they were out of the kind I normally bought. Two other grocery store ladies drifted over and we got into a conversation about "the old days" prior to genetically engineered fruits and no pulp OJ, which was what I was buying. And you know what? I liked being in on that conversation. It wouldn't have happened back home at the SUPER GIANT Kroger I go to in Marietta; nobody in that packed, rushed store cares what sort of orange juice you drink. But here, in a small supermarket in an even smaller town, not only do they care, they are willing to reminisce, to listen. I felt almost a part of something.
Good days are the ones that start by really looking at people as individuals, not by judging them because of things they do differently.

7/6/03
I think the worst way to find out something you didn't want to know is when you find it out on accident. When it really slaps you in the face. When you didn't see it coming. Or maybe you did, and you just didn't want to admit it to yourself.
Anyway.
I was home for the weekend, which was good. Went out to dinner with Jessica and Clay on the 4th, then we went to see Charlie's Angels, which I really actually liked. Then yesterday I helped Cory move some stuff into the new house. Somehow that took 8 hours. Even if you subtract an hour for dinner, an hour at Rooms to Go and that hour when Cory would play me the beginnings of songs on his guitar and make me guess what it was, I still don't know how it all adds up to 8 hours.
I am TOTALLY in my pre-Sequanota mode. Yeah. I'm dying to be up there now. I'm in definite need of a beach. I mean yes, i'm definitely looking forward to seeing everybody again, but i'm REALLY looking forward to rolling out of bed and heading straight down for a few hours of dozing on the sand. I think a viewing of Dirty Dancing might be in order tonight. Hey, who needs to study for Econ anyway?
I still haven't gotten my Butch Walker pictures developed, sorry to Cory and Mike that it's taken forever.

7/11/03
Well I'm heading back down to Atlanta this weekend because....well why would I stay here? But really I'm going to see Hot Hot Heat at the Cotton Club tonight with my buddy Joe, who's driving over from SC. That should be exciting. And my awesome sweetie pie friend Charles just called me! He's from SC too and happens to be at Turner Field for the big Metallica soire. so this'll be like a big Bates House reunion at home this weekend. Well Joe lived in the towers. but let's not get technical here. I was sad to discover that Better Than Ezra is also playing tonight. They're one of my all time favorite bands to see live and I've seen them a few times. I'll just catch them the next time around. And Jump Little Children is scheduled to play the Variety Playhouse on August 23rd, which is a saturday. So plan on being there! Should be a blast. I'm so ready to be up north at the beach that I put my bathing suit on for no particular reason and sat around in the comfort of my ACed dorm. then i got cold, so i put my clothes back on. I have an Econ test monday and a big history test tuesday. blah. studying sunday will have to suffice. Did you hear Butch is married? What heartbreak. what a loss. but good for him. let's hope he can prove my theory about musicians and monogamy to be incorrect.

7/13/03
Insanity this weekend! It was great! Joe got really lost on the way to Demorest and then on the way home I accidentally got off on 285 East instead of West, but we made it to the Cotton Club just in time to see the opening band go on. When Hot Hot Heat took the stage, a dance party ensued! It was a blast. it was funny seeing SO many people in person that I'd previously only seen pictures of on makeoutclub or friendster. of course I didn't actually approach these people. but anyway. so i was standing next to this guy pretty much the whole time and after the show joe and i went to steak n shake. when i turned around at one point, who should be in the doorway but the guy and his friends?! so then last night joe and i went to see Pirates of the Caribbean (great movie, by the way) and the guy sitting next to joe leans over and says, "Were you guys at the show last night?" it was that guy again!! with his friends!! INSANITY!! I mean what a small world. They're from Lexington, KY and just happened to be staying with people in Marietta. It was too much. things like that NEVER happen to me!!

7/17/03
My life officially blows right now. I get to live in Demorest for another 5 months! Please put me out of my misery.

8/12/03
I got back from Michigan on Sunday, and what a trip it was! Quieter, of course, for the lack of people this summer, but still a blast. I got a terrible, god-awful sunburn on my second day there and was bedridden because of it the following day. i went through quite a bit of aloe. aside from being a dermatologist's worst nightmare...we didn't have many stare-at-the-stars-and-contemplate-life nights, but we did have one multiple-person spooning episode on the docks. there was the obligatory bonfire night, complete with shawn's guitar and our LOVELY voices, as well as one sunrise-watching. well, it would have been a sunrise watching had the morning not been cloudy. part of me hates returning home from sequanota -- i feel as though the memories of the fun times will get wiped out by returning to my day-to-day routine. not true, of course, but still something i fret over. we left at 4:30 sunday morning, so i didn't get to have my last glance back at the lake as we drove out on the gravel road. i've decided to work in the clubhouse next summer as a choregirl, which means i spend the entire summer cooking, washing dishes, and doing lots of bitch work for pam. i don't mind the idea except for when i think about andy and mike, who never had any spare time. and this summer wasn't even that busy. oh well, it's something i want to do, and after only getting to spend a measly 2 weeks up north this summer, i'll take any excuse to be able to stay for the entire run. granted, my side of the family DOES get the cottage in july next year so i really don't HAVE to work...but this way i get to spend one more summer not working a real job, while having one hell of a view of the lake.
Thanks for another wonderful summer, y'all. This is one southern girl who definitely feels at home Up North.

8/16/03
I went to Athens last night to help Nolan celebrate his birthday. Woo! We saw Dave Attell, who is absolutely hysterical. Wasn't a fan before, but sure am now.
As for school in Demorest...it's off to a grim start. I mean living in Columbia sucked, but living in Demorest is just depressing. So I plan to visit Athens and Atlanta quite a bit. It's a suitcase school anyway, so nobody's around on the weekend. I asked this one guy what people around here did on the weekends and he just laughed. LAUGHED.
So I think I'll hang up some posters with the sticky tack I bought at Wal Mart. OK, The Mummy is on TBS AGAIN, so i'm gonna go entertain myself with that as well.
Please call me.
Oh yes: Happy Birthday Jeb!!! Belated, I know. Sorry babe.

8/24/03
OK, I'm totally without internet (and have been for a week) in Demorest. WHICH SUCKS ASS. I'm updating from home. Apparently nobody up there actually cares whether or not the students are able to complete their online courses. Jerks. I saw Jump Little Children (or "Jump" as they're officially calling themselves now) at the Variety Playhouse last night, and they rocked. Played the fan favorites, the ones that would cause fans to riot if they weren't played, but also a ton of new stuff. I knew the words to some simply from going to their shows. How I love them. I need to be getting on the road back to nowhere here in a minute, so I'm not going to update you on ALL the thrilling details of my existance. But I'll say this: dudes better have the internet working soon, else i'll be kickin some mountain man behind. WHO WANTS TO COME SEE MAROON 5 WITH ME IN OCTOBER? ...So until I get the internet working, call the cell. Oh yeah: I'm gonna be an aunt soon! WOOP!

8/28/03
I'm online again!! Finally the internet is back up in this place. AND i just watched the VMAs, which means i'm back to my old loser self! ha. I made up a playlist for my radio production class, i have to remember to get a blank cd from Dr. Dale. I wrote a review of the JLC show from last weekend to submit to the paper. I should go to bed, but I know I'd just toss and turn, stupid brain. Mike and I had a three and a half hour conversation about this last night. crazy. i really need to take the trash out. REALLYreally. ever since i threw out that chicken, it's starting to smell weird... I opened up a PO Box up here and finally got a phone, so let me know if you want to call me or send me a postcard. either would be lovely. I think that beyonce song will be stuck in my head forever now. i wanted to slap justin timberlake during the awards. throwing the metal sign to introduce coldplay. tcha. do i want to pay 40 bucks to see Lewis Black? it's ALMOST worth it....how i love Lewis Black.

9/2/03
from my mass media survey book:
"Combine post-9/11 secret government investigations and record keeping with the massive amounts of commercial dataveillance already available with the ability of computers to store and instantly share information about any one of us to just about anybody with the need or desire to know. Does this make you feel more secure? Do you trust the government with secret warrants and secret searches? Does the demand, 'Let me see your papers!' conjure up images of Nazi-occupied Europe?...Do you agree with the assertion that we as a people are willing to trade a little less privacy for a little more security? Or do you think that Benjamin Franklin had it right when he said, 'They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty'?"

9/6/03

9/17/03
do NOT go see Once Upon a Time in Mexico, but DO go see Dirty Pretty Things with Audrey Tautou. It was a wonderful, emotional movie, whereas Mexico could not even be saved by hottie mchotterton johnny depp.
I went to Athens last weekend for the UGA-USC game. The game was awesome, except for the part where my wacky low blood pressure forced me to remain seated for a while! crazy body!! joe and mark drove over from usc to watch their team get pummeled, poor guys.
friday, my radio production class is taking the entire day to go to Georgia Public Radio to watch them produce a show. frankly, i could care less, i'm just glad i'll be on campus one less day. post-radio studio tour, i'm heading back home to mayretta. was planning an excellently relaxing weekend until i found out i have a major speech due for public speaking next week. so i'll be spending all weekend at the marietta public library, calling various doctors and taking notes on blood pressure. i figure since i suffer from abnormally LOW blood pressure, i could write an informative speech and blah blah blah, basically i didn't realize we had to have a topic, so i blurted that out when she called on me. this guy in my public speaking class became my friend today whether he knows it or not because he came up to me and started talking music/shows/comedians with me and i'm thinking, YESSSS, because i really don't get to talk about music/shows/comedians that often here.
i've noticed that my life seems to be getting weirder by the day.
this old man was holding the door of one of the buildings open today and i saw he was handing out bibles, so i just ignored him. when he saw me, he ran to open my door for me and offered me one. i looked at him for a milisecond before accepting and thanking him. he wasn't like all the pushy, you're-going-to-hell bible thumpers that were always on campus at usc. he was just a nice old man. so now what am i going to do with a second new testament? i only use the first one for looking up biblical references in literature as it is.
i couldn't sleep at all last night because the dvd of my life was scratched in my head and skipping violently. goddamn brain.
i want to go to sleep for a few weeks and when i wake up, it'll be sweater weather and i can wear my big soft sweaters and scarves and complain about how cold it is outside and make hot chocolate and hold mitten-clad hands. but whose hands would those be?
walking back from the GB parking lot tonight, i found myself staring at the sky as i often do in far-removed towns. i wanted to go sit in the tiny park and watch the stars, but instead i held my course to the women's prison that is my dorm. part of me would have felt goofy sitting out in the dark by myself, and the other part would have felt too incredibly lonely.

9/22/03
I just bought tickets to the Phantom Planet / Ben Lee show at the Cotton Club, I'm going to see Better Than Ezra tonight, I'm going to see Maroon 5 next month, I might go see Lewis Black / Dave Attell / Mitch Hedberg, and Mike and I are going to NYC this weekend. If I just ignore everything else going on, my life is lookin pretty good.

9/25/03
I can't sleep. Don't think it's because i'm not tired -- i'm exhausted. but all these noises are keeping me up. at first i thought it was the usual -- the girl who lives above me was wrestling or moving furniture around (keep in mind that's only what it sounds like she's doing). but then it kept going and didn't let up. could it be that party on the "quad" thing tonight? no i really think that girl upstairs has lost it and is repeatedly hurling her tv against the floor.
dear sweet jesus, last night i went with crystal and deanna and deanna's friend to Boneshakers, a gay club in athens. it was the best time i've had in i don't know how long. gay men are the best! there were a few disappointed ladies once it was revealed that the four of us were indeed straight, i must say. i've never danced so much in my entire life. i'm talking 3 straight hours of dancing to 80's remixes. it was indeed 80's night, not the drag show as we had hoped (drag shows are on saturdays). i only WISH i could dance like some of those guys in there. i actually saw a guy who i went to high school with, which was interesting. i'd had my suspicions...
I'M GOING TO NEW YORK ON SATURDAY!!! that's right, folks, i'm heading to the big apple for one day and one day ONLY. mike and i had originally planned to drive the 12 or so hours, but now we're flying (it helps to have family in the airline industry). i can't wait!!! we're going to stay with emily again on saturday night, then get up early and head to the airport. this weekend will be a blur, just like weekends should be. except i'll be hundreds of miles away IN NEW YORK CITY!!! haha, suckers!!

10/4/03
Welcome to October. My mom left this really long message on my machine describing how she got whiplash while riding in bumper cars in germany. only sally.
New York kicked ass! We almost didn't make it into the show, but this super nice guy with a clipboard snuck us in. That man single-handedly restored my faith in humanity. The only downside is that, a week later, i still have gaping wounds on my heels from those new shoes. It's only a matter of time before I live in NYC. Watch out, yanks! this southern fried shawty will tear it up.
i'm staying in all weekend to study for midterms and read chapters i should've read, oh, a month ago. i started off this glorious weekend by thoroughly cleaning my room from top to bottom. i was so happy when i woke up to see that my room was all in order for once.
if anyone watched friday night stand up on comedy central last night....did you see zach galifinakis??? god he's funny. GOD. And then that fat guy who sang about a woman and her chimp? He went on to sing about James Bond as Neil Young...."James Bond, who you fooling? No one, I like farms." That really got me.
I added a few more of Edna's poems to her page because, well, I worship her.
We went to Boneshakers again this past Wednesday night, but it wasn't quite as fun as the wednesday before. probably because the wednesday before was 80's night, baby. I think we're going back tonight to see the drag show, which should be way awesome. Nothing like men in dresses, let me tell you. We're friends with the bouncer now, Woody. Woody just doesn't seem like an appropriate name for a huge black guy, in my opinion.
Our radio show on friday did NOT go well...I'm the host next friday and i'm scared to death. i hate that dumb board and i'm hoping i won't mess up.
I took my quotes page away because it was dumb and pointless, so the little coast guard icon to the left won't take you anywhere anymore.
OK, time to get back to doing boring stuff.

10/9/03
So open mic night was interesting. not many people signed up to do stuff, and not too many people who did were worth paying attention to. so crystal's friend was asking who i was, said i was cute and stuff. crystal's response? "it's the nose, isn't it." thanks a lot crystal! thanks a lot. this one group or band or something played and definitely gave me a headache. too many bongos (bongoes?) and too many dreadlocks. This one guy, we called him tie-dye shirt guy, killed what was already gasping for air. he played whatever beat he felt like playing, whether or not it matched the guitar, whether or not it drowned out the singer. Patrick was amazing, such a good singer and amazing on his guitar. maybe if i WATCH enough people play, i'll learn. oh well, at least i got some coffee (yeah i'm still shaking kind of and probably won't sleep for quite some time now) and got to inform more people about rilo kiley. well one person, at least. i was thinking that maybe i should get up there and read some stuff i've written, but i really don't think i could. or i'd write it out on a big poster and let people just read it silently. to themselves. that way i wouldn't be humiliated by reading it. see, this is why i could never be a successful singer-songwriter. all in all, the night was weird, but my dad sent me money in the mail, so not a total loss. thanks dad!

10/14/03
Just got back from fall break, which kicked ass. mainly because i got a crapload of new sweaters. it just better get cold here, that's all i have to say. Saturday was Sean's going away party, and I finally got to meet all the people that I've only heard about forever. We all had a nice laugh watching people try to dance and do the worm across the basement floor. oh, silly white kids.
i got pictures back from our outing at Boneshakers and Mike and I's trip to NYC last month. wooooo!!
Yeah, so if you know me well, you'll remember a particular episode in my life early this year during which i was involved with a certain someone who was involved with another certain someone. it wasn't pretty, and it was a big mistake, and yeah i'm sorry it happened, but this person's friends apparently keep tabs on me via their aol buddylists, which, to be honest, is rather frightening...and stupid. the latest news is that they hate me because i love butch walker. i don't understand. scary psycho people!
Anyway, Crystal and I are going to see Maroon 5 tomorrow night at the Roxy!! woo! it won't be quite the same without lauren having "eye sex" with the singer during the show, but we'll have to make do. Next month is the Phantom Planet/Ben Lee show, which I'm pretty excited about. Butch (speaking of him), was supposed to play that night in athens, and i'm REALLY glad he's rescheduled that show. what a dilemma that would have been.

10/21/03
I'm always baffled when complete and total strangers talk to me, especially when those strangers are total hotties. i was on my way back to the dorm from the radio studio, minding my own business and reading the paper when i looked up and saw said hot guy. said hot guy saw me. he proceeded to run down the stairs and catch up with me, then asked if the paper was out. so i guess he's hot but not too bright. i said, "it sure is." then he asked, "what do you think of all this?" and seemed to gesture to the ground. I looked around. "The construction?" "Yeah." "Well, it's sort of in the way." "I bet it'll look great when it's done, but right now it's really annoying!" and then said hottie sort of skipped/hopped/jogged down the sidewalk to the stairs and disappeared. I was left with only two thoughts:
1. What the hell was all that about?!
2. GOD, he was hot!

In family news:
Happy birthday daddy!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!

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