War and Hate
December 22, 2002

I've been thinking about war lately, especially with everything that is happening. It has always been a dream to me, something that is not quite real. War? That was many many years ago. That doesn't happen now. I've lived my whole life in this little bubble of security. The most violence I've known came from watching police chases on TV and a couple of war movies. How sheltered I am! But why fight wars? Why do people fight wars? It seems to me that war is just some powerful people getting upset with other powerful people and sending smaller people to get killed. Now, I understand that, of course, it is much more than that. But why would anyone want to destroy the life of another? No one has that right. Hate? Does hate fuel war? I find hate a stupid emotion. Why hate anything? What is the use? There are exceptions to everything. There is no use in hating something or someone because there are always exceptions. The world is not black and white. It is all gray with dots of lighter gray and darker gray. I know that sometimes people do things that aren't right, that need to be stopped. I certainly do not support the creation of nuclear weapons, and perhaps the only way to stop that is to go to war... I don't know. But it seems like such a silly thing to go to war over! I see two children, Child A and Child B. Child A cannot find his candy cane and asks Child B if he has it. Child B answers no... with his fingers crossed behind his back. But Child A can see the candy cane sticking from behind Child B's back. And so Child A hits Child B. Pretty soon they're in a fight, and the friends of both children get involved, causing a full-fledged brawl on the playground. The same is true in this situation. Except the worst the children get are bloody noses and bruises, and there are teachers to step in and seperate the two. Sure, it was wrong for Child B to have the candy cane, but all of the children in the playground did not have to be scarred because two children have difficulty making decisions about a candy cane!

I watched some of the movie Blackhawk Down the other night. I don't want to see it again. I saw men in agony, butchered by other men. I was so disgusted. Blood, gore- these things don't disgust me. The fact that men do these things to each other disgusts me. I am somewhat relieved that I don't have to go to war, although I don't believe it's right that men go to war but women don't. I don't think that if I was a man, I could go into war. I would not and will not kill another human being. I don't think anyone should because they do not have that right. They are not God. No one can play God. Fear, courage, these do not fail me when I think about war. Bullets, pain...? No, these do not make me turn from war. However, I do wish that war caused no pain. But then if it didn't it wouldn't be war now would it? I also do not see the reason that women do not go to war. The life of men and women are both equally valuable. Besides the fact that men have more muscles and tend to cry less, (Although the fact they cry less is mostly encouraged by a society that claims men cannot be men if they cry. I laugh at soceity) I see no reason why a man's life is less valuable than a woman's to be stripped and sent to war. Anyway, I am tired, and I don't like to think about war. If I think of anything else, I'll add more onto this later.

Love,
Lemme