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| Funny Bumper Stickers & One liners 62 |
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| Some people call me lazy. I'm not lazy. I just work so fast, I'm always finished. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through... Sometimes I think well. And sometimes I think: Oh well... If we learn from our mistakes, I should be brilliant by now. There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. I see your IQ test results were negative. A Zen master once said to me "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So I didn't. My allergy tests suggest that I may have been intended for life on some other planet. Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Money doesn't talk these days. It goes without saying. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway. Be alert - the world needs more lerts. How came they call them Tuna fish but not beef mammal or chicken bird? Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble. Be nice to me--I'm out of Valium. If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast. The internet is full, go away! If the beginning started as an explosion and the end comes in an explosion, isn't the end just a new beginning? How come by the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence? The universe is simple--it's the explanation of it that's complicated. All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow. Now that I've finally got my act together, I've forgotten what I'm supposed to do with it. Ironic isn't it, that nature gave the tortoise a drag factor of 0.03. Looking for enlightenment is like looking for a flashlight, when all you need the flashlight for is to find the flashlight. |