Bumper Stickers 59

The shortest distance between two points is how far apart
they are.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a
thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

Some people give directions like they don't understand that you're the
one who's lost.

Ham and Eggs. A day's work for the chicken, but a lifetime
commitment for a pig.

Some things are fireproof, many things are waterproof, but no things
are foolproof.

Man overheard talking to a friend: "I'm locked in a major custody battle.
My wife doesn't want me, and my mother won't take me back."

"The Law of Motivation": Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.

I eat from the three major food groups: McDonald's, Taco Bell, and
Pizza Hut.

Welcome to Earth, a subsidiary of microsoft.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

They say love hides behind every corner...then I must be walking in circles.

The next time the universe knocks on my door, I think I'll pretend
I'm not home.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Always remember: It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never
worked in customer service.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, on a Jeep)

I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?

Reality is for those who lack imagination.

Don't never use no triple negatives.

Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen.

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

Before he falls asleep at night, a programmer places two glasses beside his bed. One is full of water, in case he gets thirsty. The other is empty, in case he doesn't get thirsty.

For those who think, life is a comedy; for those who feel, it is a tragedy.