Bumper Stickers 52

I hate cliches. They're not my cup of tea.

"I am normal! That's the problem!"

I'm getting so absent minded that sometimes in the middle of a
sentence I

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space,
why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?

Caution: This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.

Health insurance is just like one of those hospital gowns. You only
think you're covered.

Trying to understand you is like trying to lick the beater while the mixer's still running.

When push comes to shove, someone's gonna figure out that "push" and "shove" mean the same damn thing.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage.

Hi. I'm the tagline your mother warned you about.

Please, no deja-vu, I don't want to go through that again.

Revenge is a dish best served with a side of obsession and a nice tall glass of spite.

Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.

The Universe is a figment of its own imagination.

Wouldn't it be great if we could sell our mistakes for what they cost us?

If you believe you can tell me what to think,
I believe I can tell you where to go.

Been There - Shit Happened.

A good day is when the shit hits the fan and I have time to duck.

Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.

Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.

Please try to get the voices in your head to come to a consensus.

I did NOT escape.... they gave me a day pass.

It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them
to fly in formation.

Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.