Bumper Stickers 50

The world is my oyster.
Now I just have to figure out how to get the damn thing open.

Sometimes we're the pigeon,
and sometimes we're the statue.

If all the world's a stage, then I want to operate the trap door.

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.

Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

BS Detector activated. When alarm sounds, please re-engage brain.

I have a very firm grasp on reality...I can reach out and strangle it any time!

Hope is the denial of reality.

I've seen normal . . . it ain't pretty.

This isn't hell. This is where you get sent when you've been bad in hell.
-source unknown, but I believe it refers to the DMV.

Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.

I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.

* Klingon prompt: Strike any user when ready.

ESTO error: Equipment Smarter Than Operator

MS-DOS: if you believe in a flat Earth, this is the OS for you.

The only things Adam would recognise, if he came back to earth, are
the jokes.

I don't have the time for a hobby. I have a computer.

PEER'S LAW:
The solution to a problem changes the problem.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

What time is it in the centre of the Earth?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Sure it's user-friendly...if you know what you're doing.

Living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

Can you out-think a doorknob?

Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.