Bumper Stickers 47

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

Q: How long have you been working here?
A: Since they threatened to fire me.

Boldly going nowhere.

If the meaning of my life doesn't become clear soon, I may have to ask for
an extension.

Travel is very educational. I can now say "Kaopectate"
in seven different languages.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

Don't mess around with people who do crossword puzzles in ink.

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the insturment as one goes on.

One thing about the speed of light...it gets here too early
in the morning.

Don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good. I know better.
The things I worry about don't happen!

If I go out of my mind, where am I really?

All things are possible. Except skiing through a revolving door.

Can I upgrade my hard drive to a warp drive?

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse.

Constants aren't; variables don't

Do not press any key to continue.

Life is too important to be taken seriously.

Life would be much simpler if we could just look at the source code.

LIFE:You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.

To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.

Money used to talk, then it whispered. Now it just sneaks off.

Tell your boss what you think of him
and the truth shall set you free.

I'm so far behind, I think I'm first.

Murphy's Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Your village called...They want their idiot back.

I don't get even, I get odder.

Once you begin to understand life, you don't need an excuse to be confused.

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.