Bumper Stickers 44

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

You! Off my planet!!

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

Hello, Tech Support? How do I set a laser printer to stun?

In the 60s people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday,
along came today.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes
leaves completely.

No one should live by the early bird policy
without finding out whether he classifies as
a bird or a worm.

Sometimes I think I understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do.

Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age looks tired.

Scrawled across the dorm wall were the words, "Question Everything!"
A couple of days later someone added one word... "Why?"