Bumper Stickers 42

When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try
to remember that all men are brothers...and just give them a
noogie or an Indian burn.

Last night I was in the mood to see something silly and
idiotic on TV. So I put the cat there.

If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd
put shoes on my cat.

Somewhere, over the rainbow....that's where the airline will
find my luggage.

No problem is so large or so difficult that it
can't be blamed on somebody else.

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on
your land.

I've found a sure way to relieve office stress:
Step 1: take a deep breath
Step 2: count to 10
Step 3: set the boss's wastebasket on fire.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the
subject.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Ahhh ...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

How about never? Is never good for you?

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.

I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of bad Karma to burn
off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
ceremonial.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to
worship me.

You sound reasonable.....time to up my medication.

My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.