Bumper Stickers 40

Today's mighty oak is yesterday's nut that held its ground.

When picking out a pet, keep in mind that to a dog, you're
family; to a cat, you're staff.

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a
few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the
edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Yes, it's fast. No, you can't drive it.

Don't blame me. I'm only doing what my Rice Crispies told me to do.

My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink.

the best things in life are free plus tax

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

Ray's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Is the weather nice on your planet?

I plead contemporary insanity.

Meandering to a different drummer.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

After heat killed bad germs, where do they go? Obviously not in heaven, since they've been bad. Surely then can't go to hell, for the heat would kill them again(?)...

If knowledge is power and power corrupts, doesn't knowledge corrupt?

If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?

Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Every time I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.