Bumper Stickers 33

Reincarnation: life sucks, then you die. Then life sucks again.

The inspirational message on the bulletin board read: Today is the
Tomorrow You Worried About Yesterday.
~
Under it, somebody had penciled in, And Now You Know Why.

Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.

Boren's Law: When in doubt, mumble.

By making things absolutely clear, people will become confused.

I'm out of my mind just now, but please leave a message.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

"Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can
spend it worrying about the future?" -Unknown

The chief difference between intelligence and stupidity is that
intelligence has its limits.

Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Nothing is lost until you begin to look for it.

Sometimes I sit and think, and sometimes I just sit.

Sometimes it is necessary to repeat yourself to make a point. Sometimes.

Two types of people: Those who finish what they start and

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Farnsdick's corollary: After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

I don't mind going nowhere as long it's an interesting path.
(Ronald Mabbitt)

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

In the beginning there was nothing... then even *that* exploded!

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Life is biology. Biology is really chemistry. Chemistry is really physics. Physics is really math, and math is really hard.

Life is like an onion: You peel off layer after layer, then you find there is nothing in it.

Life is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.

Life is tough. And then you die.

Life is what happens when you are busy elsewhere.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

If I save time, when do I get it back ?

To a cat, 'NO!' means 'Not while I'm looking'.

I have four brain cells left, and at the moment, they seem to be arguing.