Bumper Stickers 32

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

You! Off my planet!

Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap!
You choose.

"The trouble with normal is it always gets worse."

Inside every older person is a younger person ~~~~ wondering what the
hell happened.

I'm only inconsistent some of the time

An unfinished thought is like....

There's no time like the present for postponing what you don't want to do.

The problem with telephones is that they never nap when you do.

Email is packaged by intellectual weight, not volume.
Some settling of contents may have occurred during transmission.

Murphy's best friend was a computer.

I earn a seven-figure salary.
Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

Home is where you can say anything you
like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

Chinese Relativity Axiom:
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats,
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.

Nothing improves memory like trying to forget.

And if you think you can limit my one-liners to 70
characters you can j

Looking for 'true love' is like buying a book on how to read.

I'm lost
I've gone to look for myself.
If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

I think I've lost my mind�something
that small is easy to misplace.

The Law of Window Washing: It's on the other side. -- Unknown

Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

How come everything we buy, from CDs to food, is packaged as though the
manufacturers are afraid we're going to get into it?

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

An order of chaos to go and keep the change.

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human
brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250

Afternoon: That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.