Bumper Stickers 20

I know karate, kung fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

I never spit in your drink -- why do you smoke in my air?

I used to be sane, but I got better.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to
make sure.

It's not a bug -- it's an undocumented feature.

I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand.

I've had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.

Lead me not to temptation -- I can find it for myself

Let's split up -- we can do more damage that way.

Life...don't talk to me about life

Life is a sandwich -- and it's always lunchtime.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming
dragon.

Love is missing someone even when they're with you

Mathematician: a machine for converting coffee into
theorems.

Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence

Mobile non-smoking area

The moral majority is neither.

Mostly harmless

Murphy was an optimist!

Murphy's Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it

My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring.

My mind is made up, don't confuse me with facts.

Conform, go crazy, or become an artist

Don't get even -- get odd!

What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.

"He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes..."

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Harvard Law:
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Ginsberg's Theorem:
1. You can't win.
2. You can't break even.
3. You can't even quit the game....

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Every solution breeds new problems.