Bumper Stickers 2

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears this is true.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator... never got around to it.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Out of my mind, ...be back in five minutes.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Friends: People who know you well, but like you anyway.

No problem is so big and complicated that it can't be ran away from.

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.

Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door
you're on.

Be bold in what you stand for and careful what you fall for.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

Take as much as you want, put back more than you take.

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful.

If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand we'd be so
simple we couldn't understand.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either
proven right or pleasantly surprised.

Optimistic apathy: things will work out, but if they don't who cares?