Bumper Stickers 19

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

The American Way: Using instant coffee to dawdle away an hour.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two negatives make a positive.

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I'll ever know.

The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours
money.

Reference Manual: Object that raises the monitor to eye level.
Also used to compensate for that short table leg.

Do something unusual today.
Accomplish homework on the computer.

Time is money, money is the root of all evil, and knowledge is
power. Therefore, procrastination is the key to world peace.

People who love law and sausages should watch neither being made.

Five out of every four people have trouble with fractions!

A hush fell over the courtroom, injuring six.

Into each life some rain must fall, but some people go around seeding
clouds.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable
alternative.

Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose
is not nailed down.

Beam me sideways, Scotty, nobody knows which way is up on
this planet

Beam me up, Scotty, the elevators don't work

Built for comfort, not for speed

Bureaucrats cut red tape -- lengthwise

Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life here

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.

Please leave a tone after the message.

The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false.

Go, lemmings, go!

Half of what I know today will be obsolete in five years --
I'd just like to know which half

I am Homer of Borg, You will be assi.... Ooh, Donuts...

WARNING: I cannot be help responsible for the above, as
apparently my cats have learned how to type.

I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.

I have not lost my mind -- I know exactly where I left it.