MAN LAW
114) No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality. 115) A man purse is still a purse. 116) No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex. Even then it is frowned upon. 117) Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team. 118) If you do not sweat, its not a sport. 119) No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man. 120) No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex. 121) The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox or other gaming system. End of story. 122) Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Loading beer inside your jacket is deemed acceptable. 123) Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only. 124) A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man. 125) In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand. 126) A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone. 127) It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch. 128) If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice. 129) A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football, Baseball, or Ice Hockey. 130) The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys. 131) Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle. 132) Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female. 133) When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing. 134) When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away. 135) No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man. 136) Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions. 137) No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her. 138) Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monicristo, CAO (Cade Mayo). 139) No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined. 140) No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. 141) When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence. 142) Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
Manlaw Page 6
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