| Alex Ferguson At The Pearly Gates (You've got to admit it's a good start) After Alex Ferguson dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour of heaven. He shows Alex a little two-bedroom house with a faded Man United banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, Alex. Most people don't get their own houses up here," God says, "so count yourself lucky." Alex looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge three-storey mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. English flags line both sides of the long drive and a huge yellow, blue and white striped banner hangs between the marble columns, and a Leeds United scarf clearly visible in the window of one of the upstairs bedrooms in the west wing. "Thanks for the house, God. But let me ask you a question. How come I get this scutty little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Terry Venables gets a big bloody mansion with fancy Leeds banners and flags flying all over the place?" God looks at him seriously for a moment. "That's not Tel's house," God says. "That's mine." |
