| Chapter 5: Kevin walked out of the elevator in Mercy General and headed to the nurses station. Mercy was smaller than GH and you could tell it had less money to spend then GH from the equipment and number of staff that was around. When Kevin first took Luke�s case, he looked into moving him to GH�s Drug and Alcohol Rehab ward but found out that Mercy�s was rated higher then GH�s. Kevin was surprised to find that out but when he looked into it, he found out that Mercy put more money in this program then GH did. The reason was simple. GH ranked top in training the next generation of medical staff and research. Mercy spent it�s time on the programs GH slacked in. It stopped GH from talking over the hospital completely. Kevin smiled at the young nurse at the desk as he approached. �Hi, I�m Doctor Collins. I am here to see Mr. Spencer.� Kevin said to her. The nurse looked at the papers that Kevin had handed her and smiled warmly at him. �Dr. Collins, I�m glad to meet you. Dr. Keller had Mr. Spencer moved to his room just a little while ago. He isn�t very cooperative right now but that is be expected. He is room 416.� The nurse told him as she pointed down the hall. Kevin took Luke�s file from the rack and headed to his room. Kevin read the file as he walked. Luke spent his first week here drying out. They were amazed his DT�s weren�t as bad as they were considering the amount of alcohol he consumed. The program he was set up on now was the normal meets and sessions with other alcoholics. Kevin wondered if Luke considered himself an alcoholic? He didn�t think so and figured that was the reason for the mood. Plus the fact that this was the first time in a long time Luke was without alcohol to keep him in a stupor. Kevin walked into Luke�s room and found him standing in the center of it reading the prayer on the wall. It was the Serenity Prayer and Kevin knew it was the norm in all AA treatment rooms. �Hi, how are you feeling?� Kevin asked as he placed the file on the table beside the window. �This is a crock,� Luke said pointing wall. Kevin noticed he ignored his question but didn�t take offence to it. Luke wasn�t out right indignant to him and that was a start. Kevin waited for Luke to sit down in the chair across from him before speaking. �What�s wrong with it? It has helped many people over the years.� �You don�t buy that crap? God? God don�t exist,� Luke said coldly as he lit a cigar. It was the one thing that Mac brought him when he came. Luke knew it came from Ruby and was grateful. Smoking was the only thing keeping him calm right now. �You don�t believe in God?� Kevin asked. �No, never did.� Luke said as he puffed on the cigar. Kevin noted this and looked at Luke. He was clean cut and shaved, but Kevin could tell the drinking took a toll on him. He had lost weight and it made him look ten years older. Kevin was having trouble finding the out going smart mouth that he used to know. �So, you are my shrink,� Luke said breaking the silence between them. �If that is what you want to call me.� Kevin said. �I asked when I came in. How do you feel?� �Like I have been dead for months,� Luke said coldly but Kevin noticed that underneath his brevato Luke was hurting and fighting to keep it together. �I have a message for you from someone who loves you,� Kevin said. �Who cares about me?� Luke snapped at the doctor and went to stand at the window. �Lucky,� Kevin said. �Cowboy?� Luke said in a shocked and surprised voice. He looked at Kevin for some sign it was a joke. �Yeah, Lucky. He says to tell you that he loves you,� Kevin told him. �How could he? I used him for boxing bag.� Luke said and he trusted the pictures at Kevin. Kevin looked at them and wondered where Luke got them. He didn�t know if this was going to hurt his progress in getting better or help it. Kevin placed the pictures down and asked, �So, you know. What do you feel about it?� �Like a heel and that I should be shot,� Luke snapped at Kevin. �Luke, you messed up. You got a choice now. You either face it or run from it,� Kevin said. �Not much of a choice.� Luke said. �No, but it is a choice. I know it is going to be hard. I have been in your shoes but I did it. And the Luke I used to know can do it too.� Kevin said getting up and standing by the man. �So, tell me about what happened.� �I got drunk and beat my kid,� Luke said flatly. �No there is more then that. Lucky said you were fine until he went to school. What went wrong?� Kevin asked him. Luke started to pace but he did start talking. �After Lucky left, I was alone and faced with all her memories. The past started to hit me and I couldn�t stop it. Everything that me and Laura went through ran through my head. I saw the bottle sitting there and wanted it to so much that I started drinking. I was hoping it would help kill the memories but it didn�t. The more I drank the more the memories took over,� Luke said with tears pooling in his eyes. �You loved her. It was to be excepted that you would think about her. I guess it was hard to go see and claim them alone,� Kevin said as he placed the recorder on the table. He had it on since he walked into the room; he just hadn�t showed it until now. �They had them laying on the floor with blankets over them. I found Laura first and she looked so white and pale. Her lips were all ready blue and as I bent down to see her, I noticed that her neck was broken. They said she would have lived if the impact wouldn�t have snapped it. The plane hit too hard and people didn�t get time to prepare. It dropped too fast and that is why a lot of them died.� Luke said stopping his pacing and stood there looking out the window shaking as the memories started to hit him. �Lu was next and I moved her to her mother. I placed them in each other's arms and that is how I buried them. I didn�t want my little girl to be alone. Do you know what is like to bury a three year old child?� Luke asked Kevin. He was shaking from anger, frustration, and grief. �No, I never had kids.� Kevin said. He didn�t know what to say to Luke. He saw the pain that was written on his face and wanted the right words to make it go away but only time was going to do that. �It is the hardest thing I ever had to do. I wanted to die myself but there was Lucky. Looked at what I did to him,� Luke said and he punched his fist into the wall beside the window. Kevin got up and stood by Luke. �Luke, Lucky loves you and needs you. I know this hurts and I know that words do nothing. You have to find a way to pull yourself together and be father to that boy. He lost his mother and sister. He will not be able to stand loosing his father,� Kevin said as he placed a hand on Luke's shoulder. �How? They are dead and I can�t do a damn thing about it. My angel is gone and I�m lost without her. Laura was the one that took care of things and I looked after her.� Luke said as the tears started to fall. �I�ll help. You're not alone any more. You don�t have to face things by yourself. All of us need a friend sometimes,� Kevin said as he guided Luke to the chair and sat him down again. �You ever do something to hurt someone that you love?� Luke asked him. �I kidnapped Felicia and Mac almost killed me. It took their love for me to save me. I also got myself together.� Kevin said. �She ever forgive you?� Luke asked. �In time and now we are friends. I know that after you get over this, you're relationship will be stronger then ever.� Kevin said. �She is a lot more forgiving the me,� Luke said coldly. �You don�t forgive?� Kevin asked him. �No, not to many people,� Luke said. �Why not?� Kevin asked him. �I just think there are some things that are unforgivable.� Luke said. �What about what you did to Lucky?� Kevin asked. �That is one of them. I can�t see why my kid loves me. I didn�t,� Luke said and bit his lip. Kevin saw this and looked at Luke with question marks in his eyes. �You were beaten weren�t you?� Kevin asked Luke. �Go away,� Luke, said suddenly. The wall that was coming down went up fast. Luke got up from the chair and went back to the window. No matter how much Kevin tried Luke refused to talk to him. Finally, Doctor Collins left the room. He figured he's leave things be for awhile and try later. He wondered how bad Luke�s childhood was and was surprised that this didn�t happen sooner. �Maybe Laura did more then just love Luke.� Kevin thought as he walked to his car. Chapter 6 Back to Monster Within |