| Chapter 19 All day Sunday, Lucky spent the day walking wondering around the house. Tony watched this and wished the boy would relax but he knew why Lucky was worried even if the kid didn't know himself. Finally it was time to leave and Lucky was wired for anything. Kevin heard about Lucky day and he tried to get Lucky to relax but nothing he said worked. Lucky just wasn't in the mood to listen to anything anyone said. His mind was on Luke and how this meeting was going to go. Lucky's first impression of the hospital was just like any other. The only thing different was that the people walked around in normal street cloths and they looked healthy. Luke wasn't in his room; Kevin found him alone shooting pool in the rec. room. "Ok," Kevin said just out side the door. He's in there now. You have choice. I either go with you or you go alone?" "I'll go alone. I'm not scared of dad," Lucky said and he opened the door and walked right in. Out side Lucky was calm and cool but inside he was shaking in his shoes. The last time he saw his father he was getting the shit beat out of him and Lucky didn't know what was going to happen now. Luke was clean sober and trying to act cool himself. He was lining up the shot trying to keep his hands from shaking too much. It wasn't until he heard Lucky close the door that Luke looked up and asked, "Hi, Cowboy. How are you doing?" "I'm fine. You look good," Lucky said as he slowly walked toward the pool table. Luke noticed that Lucky's eyes were on the pool stick and it didn't take him long to figure out what was running threw the kids mind. "You want to play a game?" Luke asked and he healed out the stick to his son. Lucky back up just a few steps but he did grab for the cue and they soon were playing a game. At first they talked about save subjects, and Luke noticed that Lucky kept a few arms reaches distance between the two of them all the time. Finally Luke forced himself to make his move. "So, Lucky. I heard about the courtroom and what in there. What do think you were doing?" Luke asked coldly. "What do you mean?" Lucky asked putting down the pool cue and looking at his father with wide blue eyes. Fear was slowly building in the kid and he was starting to think that this was all a big mistake. "You threaten Helena. That was dumb cowboy, very dumb." Luke said and he used those on propose. "Dumb? ME, Dumb," Lucky said and his voice did sound angry but not angry enough. Luke knew he had to push him just a little bit more. "Yeah, that was dumb. Helena isn't a person to take lightly. You know better then taking her own. I thought you better then that and I'm disappointed in you," Luke told him. "You can go to hell," Lucky told Luke and for the first time since he walked into the room. Lucky was mad and angry. "You mad at me? What did I do to you?" Luke asked as he placed the pool cue on the table. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" Lucky asked him. "Yeah, I think you do," Luke said. He was acting cold but inside he wanted beg for the kids forgiveness but this wasn't for him it was for Lucky. "You bastard!" Lucky said and he started to pace the room. "You beat me and you act as if nothing is wrong. Well, guess what old man, I hate your guts. How dare you say I'm dumb? I'm not dumb and I'm not worthless and I'm a Spencer. You're the one that doesn't deserve being alive," Lucky said and he swung the cue right at Luke. Luke ducked this and started back up. He didn't say anything. He let Lucky all the talking. "What's wrong? You scared? How does if feel? I can tell you, because you took a bat to me, but guess what old man. Foster isn't going to save you and if fact, I think the dog hates you just as much as I do." And took a few more swings at Luke. "I hate myself," Luke said finally and this time his voice wasn't hard and cold but full of pain. "Oh, and that is suppose to make me feel better. Well, guess what old man it doesn't," Lucky said his voice full of ice. Luke winced at this and he had to force himself to remember that he called his own son worthless and dumb because being called old man was getting really old. "So, if you hate me. Why have you been defending me all this time?" Luke asked him. "Because I'm stupid," Lucky said his voice full of hate. "No, Cowboy. You're not stupid I am," Luke told Lucky. "Don't call me that. You have no right calling me Cowboy any more," Lucky told him his voice full of hate. Luke didn't notice this but Lucky rose the cue just a little bit and on his lasts word. Lucky swung at Luke with all his might. Luke didn't have time to dodge the blow but he used his forearm to block the blow. The cue broke in two pieces and Luke looked at his son and for the first time wondered if he pushed things to far. "Lucky, hold it far a second," Luke said as he took a few steps back. Lucky didn't say a word he just swung at Luke again, but this time Luke was ready. He pulled the cue from Lucky's hand and threw it across the room. "Come here," Luke said to his son and he pulled Lucky to him. "Get off me!" Lucky yelled and he tried to get free of Luke's hold. Kevin and Attila walked in and saw Luke holding Lucky in a bear hug. Kevin knew from the look on Luke's face that he wasn't hurting the boy but just hugging him. "Please let me go," Lucky begged and he kicked and fought his father with all of his might, but Luke didn't let go. He just stood there holding Lucky until the kid ran out of energy. Luke did watch Kevin and the nurse slowly back out of the room. He was grateful for that because this made things a lot easier when no one was around watching them. Lucky fought Luke for a little while longer then slowly the kid stopped fighting and stayed limp in Luke's arms. Luke moved Lucky to the couch and they sat there for a long time not saying a word to each other. "Lucky," Luke said finally, "You have every right to be mad at me. What I did was uncalled for and you didn't do anything to deserve it. No one does. I knew better but I still let it happen." "Why did you do it then? Why did you hurt?" Lucky asked. The kid's eyes were wide and full of pain. Luke's heart went out to the boy and he pulled him into his embrace. "I don't kiddo. I can give you hundreds of reasons and none of them will change what happened or make it better," Luke told him. "Dad, just give me a reason. One little one! I spent days, weeks and months trying to figure out what I did wrong. What I could have done to stop this or prevent it," Lucky told him. "You did nothing wrong that is the point. I was wrong. I'm the one that let you down. You didn't do anything that was wrong that you earned anything did to you. When, I got drunk, I let a monster within me take over. I knew that part of existed but after your mother's death I didn't care any more. I forgot that I had you to look after. All I felt was the pain that was caused because she was gone. I picked up a bottle and didn't stop. I can say I'm sorry until the day I die and it will not change what I did. All can do is try to show you that it will never happen again," Luke told him as he wiped the tears away from his son's face. "I hate that part of you. I even feared him and I never feared you in my life. I didn't know how to act or what to say to prevent me getting hurt. I tried. I tried being quite but that didn't work. You find me and make up something that I didn't do or that you thought you told me to do. I finally gave up trying and just lived the nightmare became and I started wishing that I went with her. I wanted to die with my mother because I hated my father or the person were then," Lucky said and he buried his head in his hands and started to cry. Luke placed his arm over Lucky's shoulder and held him tight. "Cowboy, I know how you feel. I been there and I never wanted you to feel that way. That is what hurts me the most. I promised myself that my children went going to know this kind of pain. I didn't just let you down. I let myself down. I never felt this guilty for something I did to someone that I love more the life itself. I would go through hell just to take this back but I can't. No matter what I do or what I say. You will always remember this part of me and I can't do anything about it," Luke told him. "Dad, I will forgive you, but I want thing. Don't ever do it again. I can't deal with it and I don't think I can forgive another time. You are all I have left and I don't be alone. I want the father that I once knew back," Lucky told Luke. "You got him. I didn't tell Kevin this because he would never believe me but I know a special woman that would hunt me for the rest of my life and my after life if I ever even thought about hitting you. Remember this," Luke said and he opened his hand and lying in the bottom of his palm was Laura's ring. "You put it on her hand?" Lucky said shocked that his father had it. "She gave it back to me," Luke said as he placed the ring in Lucky's hand. "It is a reminder of what she could do. I took a lot from you and this can't make up for half of what I stool but it is a start. I want you have it and I want you to find a special lady to give it to. Find your Angel Cowboy, because I all ready found mine. Laura was one of a kind and I'll never find another woman that understood me as well as she did. It is also a promise from me to you. I can't say I'm sorry because those words are meaningless. All I can do is live everyday making it up to you." Lucky took the ring and clinched his hand around it. "I believe you because I was there when you placed it on her hand and I helped close that coffin, and I take your promise. I know that you will keep your word not just to me but to her. I know from her word that she loved you and I know from your actions that you loved her. I do wish that find my Angel or at least love someone half as much as you loved each other," Lucky told his father and then they embraced. The two of them talked more about Laura then they did when she first died. Lucky really started to morn his mother and Luke his wife. It was hour before visiting hours was over with that Luke decided to tell Lucky about Bobbie and Stefan. "Cowboy, I have something to tell you that stays between us," Luke said finally. "Sure, what is it?" Lucky asked. "Your Aunt Bobbie is alive and so is Stefan. It was Helena that killed your mother and she tried to kill them. I'm going to sit this out because I don't want to risk loosing you, but afterwards. I'm going after her and I'm stopping her for good. They have to stay hidden until I get out. Now, you can't tell anyone because it would place their lives in danger. Can you sit tight until I get out," Luke asked his son. "Sure, I be good," Lucky said but his tone of voice was off but Luke didn't catch it at least not at that moment in time. "Good and when I get out of here. We take care of Helena," Luke said with a smile. "Sure, just like the old days," Lucky said. Kevin showed up about ten minutes later and after saying good bye. Lucky and him started to leave. "Dad," Lucky said before he walked out the door. "What you said back at the house. About me not being a Spencer. I think I know how to prove to that I am." And with that Lucky was gone. "You are a Spencer?" Luke said puzzled why kid said those words. Luke went to his room and stood at the window thinking on what Lucky said. It wasn't until late in the night that his mind finally put things together. "You wouldn't?" Luke said out loud. "Ok, he might!" Luke had to find out what he was thinking was true or not. She he went to the nurses station to make a call. Attila was on duty again. Luke knew the only way he was going to get anywhere with this woman was to deal with her truthfully. "Ah, I know this is against policy and I would not be asking if it wasn't important. I need to call and check to see if Lucky is at home," Luke asked her. "Why?" the nurse asked. "Because I think my kid is going to do something really stupid and it could get him killed but I have to find out. Please, let me make that call," Luke begged her. The nurse looked at him and she knew from his tone of voice that he wasn't conning her. So, she placed the phone near him and Luke made his call. "Hello," came a tired voice of Tony after several rings. "Ex-bro. In-law, I need to go see if Lucky is his room," Luke said to Tony after he answered the phone. "Luke, do you know what time it is?" Tony asked Luke as he looked at the clock. "I don't care what time it is. I need you to check to see if Lucky is in his room and that bed," Luke said to Tony starting to get really upset for not being listened to. "Ok. I'll do it just to get rid of you," Tony said and then he placed the phone down and went to check on Lucky. Luke stood by the phone and looked at the clock on the wall. The kid had to have waited for Tony to go to bed before sneaking out. So, there was still time or that is what Luke hopped. Tony came back on the line a few moments later sounding really upset. "Luke, Lucky isn't in his bed." "Damn," Luke muttered. "Tony, call Kevin and have him meet me at the Cassadine launch. I think Lucky is going after Helena." "What?" Tony said in shock. "Shouldn't we call Mac?" "NO! I'm not having Lucky arrest for assault. I'll take care of things. You just make sure that Kevin is waiting for me on the docks. I'll be there as soon as I can," Luke told him and then he hung up. He looked up into the stern eyes of the nurse. "Oh, Attila. I know you and me didn't hit it off. I haven't been the best of patients, but this is really important. You see the woman that Lucky is going after is killer and she would kill him just for fun. So, I need stop him. So, can I go?" Luke asked her. "If you leave and they find out. I will loss my job," the nurse said. "I'll be back before dawn. I swear," Luke said holding up his hand like a Boy Scout. "If you are not. You find me waiting for you with straight jacket," the nurse warned him. "I got the point," Luke said and then he was off. Chapter 20 Back to Monster Within |