When I was a teenager, I wondered how I would finally know if a guy was right for me to marry. I am an incrediby practical person, so I figured I would have to know the guy for a very long time -- maybe a year -- before I'd even consider marriage. I never thought I would only need 10 days to get my answer. And I never imagined my answer would come from an ordinary lemon.
You see, our love story began in a way before we actually met. My friend, Marianne, had moved to Iowa to begin law school in the Fall of 1999. In a phone conversation soon after she moved, she described a guy from her branch -- cute, tall, thin, dark hair (my heart fluttered). Oh, and Laura, he's getting his Ph.D. (my heart stopped).
When she finished, I jokingly told her, Marianne, you do realize I'm supposed to marry this man, don't you? Marianne, being the wonderfully forward person that she is, decided to include him in our joke by scolding him, Eric, you really need to stop dating this other girl because my best friend says you're engaged. And Eric, being the good sport that he is, went along with the joke. Anyway, we wrote a couple times -- always joking that we were already engaged.
I planned a trip to visit Marianne for ten days over Thanksgiving. I admit --I knew I would meet Eric, but I don't think I ever really thought anything would happen. (But I bought a new pair of black pants -- just in case.) When I stepped off the plane, I saw Marianne pointing me out to this person standing next to her. I laughed as I was greeted with a teddy bear, a hug, and a sigh-filled, "I've missed you!"
I was quickly disappointed. Any secret fantasy I held faded a little as I found myself stuck in the back seat of Eric's Audi. And faded a little more as Eric turned up the radio and began to banter with Marianne, leaving me to find meaning in the 80's music that reverberated from the back speakers. And vanished completely as Eric began to talk animately about a girl he'd just started seeing.
No worries, I reassured myself. Heck! I'd come to visit my friend -- not some nerdy science guy who liked some other girl. Right?
Only Marianne had to study for finals. And the thought of staring at the inside of her apartment for ten days forced me to pick up the phone and ask Eric to show me around Iowa City. Only thing -- neither of us had any idea what to do with each other. We finally decided to go to a Thai restaurant for lunch. After lunch, we bought Marianne some candy and spent almost an hour trying to find her in the law library an hour or so before we knew she'd be done.
Not a great start, but Eric continued to offer to keep my company. But did I like him at this point? I remember Marianne asked me if I was interested in him. And I remember telling her, "Marianne, he is really nice. But I just don't think I'm interested. I mean, he's kind of goofy, don't ya think?"
I have to be honest though -- even though I professed no interest, I still watched Eric. And the more I watched him, the more I liked who he was. I liked the man who sat with me in the temple and talked about what he felt. I liked the man who kept his sense of humor when we were stuck in traffic for over two hours. I liked the man who kept his patience with a waiter who scrambled every order he was given.
Eric fixed us dinner the night before I flew back home. Plum chicken. The water he brought out to us made Marianne comment, "Wow Laura! He really likes you."
"What do you mean?"
"He put lemon in the water. He never puts lemon in the water. But he knows you like lemon in your water."
"C'mon, Marianne -- how does he know I like lemon in my water?"
How did he know? It finally clicked. Because we went to a restaurant together.
So how did I know Eric was the one I wanted to marry? Well, more than anything else, I guess I knew because he looks for little things to do to put a smile in my day. And he knows what will make me smile because he notices (and loves) all those little, crazy idiosyncracies I have. Like how I, without thinking, always ask for lemon in my water at restaurants.
In one instant, our fun little game came to a screeching halt. Oh! She's pretty! was my first thought when Marianne pointed her out. And No, she's hot! was my second. Laura was wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses in her hair.
I had been psyching myself up all day to go along with the joke of our engagement, to play the role of her fiance to all the people in the airport (who probably wouldn't notice or care what we were doing). So when I saw her, I thought, How can I pretend to have feelings for this woman who I am attracted to?
Yes, that's when we first met. But when I think of the beginning of our story, I think of Christmas break last year. Within the first three days of my visit home, I had seen seven of my nieces and nephews. The crazy thing about little kids (as much as I love to play with them) is that they are really just little germ factories. And so truly, I just didn't have a chance. Nathalie, my four-year-old niece, was sick with a terrible cold. She was miserable, so I let her lie on my chest to watch TV. I tried to make her smile by saying, Uh-oh, Natalie you're going to get me sick, too. She got a mischievious smile, turned around, and coughed in my face. Now you will be sick too, Uncle Eric.
And she was right. Soon I was sick, sick, sick. And, just when I was starting to get better, the little germ factories started up again. And I got sick again -- but this time it was the stomach flu, so I couldn't keep anything down. (And if anyone knows me, they know that for me at least -- eating is my life.)
I was miserable. One evening, in the midst of my agony (and, no, I'm not exaggerating -- and, yes, I realize that men are sissies and can't handle being sick), Laura called. I just covered my head with a heavy blanket and laid on my sister April's sofa and talked to Laura. We must have talked for at least hour. And it was the most peace I'd felt during the past week.
This was maybe our second or third phone conversation. That peace has continued. It has continued through e-mail and phone conversations, through trips to Boston and trips to Utah. And even two Greyhound bus trips. Our entire relationship has been a long list of happy coincidences and great opportunities. I am learning that true love is helped by a Higher Power and then develops in time. Love isn't something that just happens. It is something that is always present, starting very small. What Laura and I have is like this -- it is true love.
