DID YOU KNOW?
If you marry a recent convert before he or she hits the one year mark, you can still get sealed in the temple at his or her one year mark. You son't have to wait a year after you get married unless he or she has been a member for more than a year... So lets say I meet a girl and she gets baptised. Six months later we marry. We can then marry five months after that, at her one year mark! Awesome, huh? Just thought I'd share that tid-bit of info with you.
I moved yesterday. It really sucked. I don;t recommend moving unless you know if you're going to be there for a very long time and if its a really nice place that you really like... its that bad. You don't want to move around a whole lot. I hope I get settled in fast. I'm going nuts and its been one day. And somebody already jacked my red pen that I keep with my scriptures so that I can mark things and such.
Wahoo! Ok. I like this look so very much better. While "surfing the internet" I ran across a site with some really cool stuff that I thought might look pretty good on mine. So I tried it. And this is what I've come up with. I've added the dashed lines surrounding each journal entry. And, to keep things looking all uniform-like, I changed the font color for the entries from white to black... much easier on the eyes. So if you haven't been with us for very long the you haven't seen what we looked like before. So just click over to April. But it won't stay that way for long. Soon it will look just like its May counter-part. Then you will have absolutely no idea as to what I'm talking about. Then I'll be able to laugh at you all the day long. Ha-ha-ha!
The other day I was invited by Evan to come over to our good friends, the Katz. Kent and Liz are great. I get the biggest kick outta them. Little did I know that when I was invited over that I would be doing manual labor. No problem for my part, but poor Evan had blood squirting all over from his toe. They might want to consider repainting their house a crimson red. Anyway... Kent has been fooling around with things that are bigger than him yet again. I think he does this to improve his manly appearance... To who? I have no clue. I doubt it really impresses his wife Liz. But who knows, that just might be one of the things that draws her toward him. Wierd.
So, I get there and Kent and his electrical-type buddy have just finished replacing his fuse box. He's got a nice big one to fit his growing "manly" ego. At this rate he's gowing to need a new one every year. He then informs me that they are also replacing the thingy that sticks out from the roof that connects to the power lines! This maniac is meddling with powers much greater than he. Lucky for him Evan and I were there to help him out. We put this insanely heavy 30' pole through a hole on the roof. Keepin mind that this thing is so heavy that it take two people to comfortably move this bad boy around. After putting it on the roof, which was the easy part, we had to stand this monstrossity straight up into the air so that it could then be jammed into this air-tight hole in the roof.
Keeping my balance on a 30 degree slope, no problem. Holding a heavy 30 foot pole straight up while jamming it into a hole, a little more effort. Doing both of them at the same time while standing 10-15 feet above ground, amazingly stupid. Yet we did it. We screwed it into its base and found that it was turned the wrong direction. Any guesses as to who brilliant idea it was to put the ladder up onto the roof (which is at 30 degrees mind you) and to stand on the top step which actually isn't a step? Yeah, it was Kent's. So Evan and I help this ladder with Mr. Brilliance up on top. Evan held from the upper side and I from the lower side. So if it fell Evan could just let go and be off without scratches, so that he could take me and Brilliance to the E.R. All in all I have a great time, and so did Evan, even though he had to nurse his squirting thumbtoe all night. But it was worth it... we got free life cereal at 10:00 p.m. and I got some great sruff for my journal entry!
I love those two though. Kent's the kinda guy who'll do just abount anything for you even if you don't return the favor even when obvious opportunities are presented to you. He'll keep helping. he might complain here or there, but he still does it. He's an all around great, semi-handiman sortta guy.
5-21-2004
Well, I did it. I am now a genious. Not only can you go from JOURNAL to MAY and see all my journal entries (why, I haven't the foggiest clue), you can now go from JOURNAL to MAY to any entry you wish. But wait there's more! Not only can you do this but you can also get back to the top of the page by clicking : : u p : : (located just under every entry), just in case I ever decide to write as much in another month as I already have this month... And there are only about 5 entries this month so far!I feel kinda bad about my short story in the last entry I made. But not entirely. Its good to vent out your anger and frustrations, I guess that's one of the purposes of keeping a journal. But I may have been outta line with some of the points I made, and the things I said. She has gone through quite a bit, and is still groing through much today. Yet, my feelings still have not changed. My last opinion was a little off color, but I was in a bad mood. I was ticked off. And just because I was then doesn't mean I'm going to go back and edit it... thats not how journals work. They stay there so that I can go back and reflect on the things I have said and done, and the way I felt.
I still love her to bits, but she's changed. I've changed, or atleast my feelings for her have changed. Our friendship will never be the same. And thus is the way of life. Everything changes all the time. you just gotta be able to cope with, adjust to, or in some cases resist the change. But either way, you change. It always (for the most part) comes with the ability to have the change be positive. It all depends on you. So, I am taking all that she has given me and remembered it for all the good that was there. All the bad that I have experienced I will take, try to understand to the best of my male abilities, and strenghten and fortify myself so that when pain comes again, I will be able to see all the good that can come from it and hopefully be able to help who ever else is there.
I know its a little off topic, but I really want a Red Delicious Apple. Mmmm... they are so crisp, juicy, and wonderful. Delicious.
5-20-2004
The Two Minute Friend:We met in English 1A. She and I kinda became friends... not much of a friendship, more like an acquaintance. She dropped the class and I didn't see her again for the longest time. Then, suddenly, she (who will continually not be named, so that b.s. rumors don't go all over) walked back into my life. I really don't remember when or how, but she did. I'll tell you right now, there are few alive that I've met that has as much strength as her, and that I have loved as much as her. Anywho, months went by. She and I grew closer and closer. We saw each other almost every day. And the days we didn't see each other one of us would call the other. It would seem to any innocent bystander that we were dating. That's what some people thought. That's what I was begining to think. But that was far from what she was thinking. So, ok. She doesn't want more than a friendship. So I settled with it... or atleast tried to. Its kinda hard to when you have feelings like that for someone. So I dated other people, and being one of my two best friends, I introduced them to her. During this course of action I dated Dominique Perkins... the retard. I loved her to death, but she has some growing up to do. But then, so do most people I know, including myself. So, after Dominique and I split (ok, she dumped me), on New Years day (ARG!!), my un-named friend and I went about our regularly scheduled programming. Hanging out. Watching CSI and 24. Adjusting our schedules so that we would ditch our Tuesday night classes just to watch 24 on time. We'd hang out at my other best friends house, Evan's, or more accurately, the Haun's.
We went through some slightly major things together... Actually, she would go through something major and I would be there for her, I would go through something major and she was always there for me. We even hung out at each other house. My family loved her and her family seemed to think that I was a stable enough guy to hang out with their daughter 24/7. They even mentioned the idea of her dating me... which she didn't go for.
Then the time came. She was driving me nuts, not intentionally of course, but I was losing it. She seemed to notice. Because she started dating this guy we will call Ricky Raccoon. Ok, they weren't bf/gf, but they both had the googoo-eye thing going on. She then got up the nerve to finally ask me what's going on, even though she knew it perfectly well... she just had to hear it from me. Understandable. So I told her. We both agreed that things were fine as long as I know that she doesn't think that way, and as long as it doesn't affect our friendship its cool. But did it really go as planned? No. First she stopped hanging out with me. Then she stopped calling me and sending me text messages (we did a lot of that), which actually has saved me a grip of money. And then she stopped returning my calls completely. I took the hint. I took the hint early on and slowed things down a bit, considering that she was always with Ricky Raccoon. Then finally I stopped talking to her altogether.
One time we talked for a few minutes and she said she missed me. She missed talking and hanging out with me (she wasn't implying anything though, just back to where we were before, or actually somewhat less). She seemed to be thinking that we had grown apart. I told her that I haven't gone anywhere and that she knows exactly where I am. I haven't changed directions, she did. She said that us "not talking" was a mutual thing. Bull crap. It was all her. So I told her that if she really wants to hang out that SHE needs to call me. I tried before. She stopped responding. So has she called me? Nope. Will she? Maybe, but will it go farther than the phone call or a text message? Heck no. Ever since then when we talk its always just for a couple minutes. And every time we stop talking I feel like crap. All that we had gone through, the great friendship that we had was worth nothing. Every time we "finish" talking I feel down. I feel stepped on, and scraped off. About 90% of the time she stops talking is because another one of her friends pulls her away. I don't remember the last time she actually said goodbye to me. Two minutes. We talk and catch up. She says she misses me and sometimes seems to sincerely want to hang out with me and continue on with the friendship that we had. But its all crap. I've seen it all too often. And the crappy way I feel after every time I see or hear from her just isn't worth it. Two minutes. That's all I'm worth to her. Two minutes. Two minutes. Crap. Its all crap. All I am to her is just The Two Minute Friend.
This has been yet another example of STEVE'S INSIGHTFUL WISDOM OF THE DAY, or better yet, WHY I THINK GIRLS ARE CRAP. Go for the women out there, men. Go for the women. Leave the girls for the boys. Let them mess with each others minds and don't have any part in it. Its just a hassle and a headache. Werd.
5-16-2004
Hah! I fixed it. The mighty mighty scrollbars are now again functional. Stupid-head me forgot to upload the .css file.
It has also been unanimously decided (by me) that I will not in the immediate nor near future join the ranks of the militarish peoples of the United States of America. Whether by personal revelation from God or by common sense (it'd probably be best if I gave credit to God) it has been made known to me that if I were to join the military it should be because I want to be a part of the "military Family," in which case I would work in the military full time; or if my country really needed me in the middle of some other country, in which case I would join the reserves. But neither of those are my real desires. My desire is to get an education, while getting work and setting myself up for financial stability and putting some experience under my belt for some future cause. I love the military and the freedoms that I now have because they are to protect me. I help to pay their salaries and support there war efforts. I also take the necessary time to ponder, think, and reflect upon what the military has done for me — speaking in a historical and present sense — not just on holidays, but whenever the thought enters my mind, either by the spirit whispering to me or be way of conversation or news or written article.
Today in Brother Wainwright's Gospel Doctrine class I had the chance of reading verses 2-9 of Mosiah 14. My first thought when I noticed the note to compare to Isaiah was that he is said to have a poetic style of writing, or of speech. So when as I read I felt as if he were really speaking those words to me, obviously not in Hebrew or which-ever language he would normally speak, but I could almost see the words rolling out his mouth with the utmost delicacy. I could see the words rolling out his mouth with the perfection of an artist, he painted beautifully the picture he wanted his people to see. I have no idea what it all meant, but it was beautiful. Peotry.
2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground; he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
6 All we, like sheep, have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquities of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he opened not his mouth.
8 He was taken from prison and from judgment; and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living; for the transgressions of my people was he stricken.
9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no evil, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
I stuttered here and there, but that was mainly because I was in the company of Sister Danielle Rios, the daughter of Sister Wainwright from her first marriage (if you want to get technical). Wow! I'm not sure what to say about her... at the moment I'm at a loss of words. I don't know her yet but you can tell immediately about someone by the relaxing way they present themselves. She was in the presence of her mom, so already she is in a very relaxed or casual state, sorta 'at home.' You can see into her by the way she laughs — very wholesome and loving, she's not ditsy but seems to have a feel of intelligence. That has in the past given me mixed feelings. Yet now my feelings have begun to straighten out: a smart girl is always good to have, you don't want to marry someone whose kinda lacking upstairs; smarter people have always intimidated me, especially in a marriage, I'm supposed to be the head of the household, right?; but now I realize, or rather I realized it a while ago, a marriage is not the man having dominion over his wife or being smart and that's why I make the decisions, but rather a merge of the two people, bringing in their own experiences, knowledge, and traditions. The husband/father holds the priesthood and righteously, prayerfully, and humbly, with his wife by his side (not in front behind above or below) make the decisions and guides their family down the straight and narrow path.
This may seem to be a wee bit much for someone to be thinking about when he hasn't even really talked to the girl yet, but atleast you get an interesting glimpse into the mind of Stephen.
Oh, and by the way, the address for my site at the moment is http://www.geocities.com/ldszatarra. This really means nothing to you, because you're already here, unless you clicked here from hotmail or some other retarded-ish email.
STEVE'S INSIGHTFUL WISDOM OF THE DAY: When dating expect to get your heart caressed and pampered with I love you's, then pulled out of your chest, stabbed, twisted, and utterly mutilated right before your very eyes just before she thrusts it back in with the gentle words that we've all heard before "Its not you, its me" and "We can still be friends." Lies. All of it. Don't believe a word she says. Werd.
5-10-2004
Well, well, well... Will you look at what we have here. We're on the WEB! 'Bout stinking time, I say. That's some pretty exciting news. Well, atleast for me. This is by far the most original and comprehensive web site I've ever done... I mean, yeah, its not completely all 100% original, but I put everything together on my own. I have had many inspirations and many to thank on giving me the examples and help I have needed and do continue to use.
I was playing around a little with a few ideas on Adobe Photoshop 6.0 (I know, a little outdated, slightly, but runs perfectly well and over exceeds my current needs) and I ended up putting my ideas to the side. I decided to take a look into slices, actually I was looking for something else and found the slices and got a little curious. I got totally excited when I found out what it actually does! It sets up buttons for you on images, kinda, among many other things. Then I decided to take a step further. I know of ImageReady but I knew little of its purpose. There are many similarities between it and its counterpart Photoshop. So upon investigating its differences I found that it just may be made specifically for web publications. I immediately found the rollover tool. Awesome! Not only will it set up the picture so you can click on certain areas and have them take you to other places or do other things, but you can make the "switch" look different as you place the cursor over it, possibly and probably making it possible to have the image also change if it is pressed upon, clicked. Just like any other button! Ok. I know this sounds a little odd, but its exciting news for someone who's really just getting his feet wet.
Well, there's my little tid-bit for the day. With this new "technology" you will see some drastic changes come about in the setup of this site... who ever you are. And how did you find out about this place? Are you a spy? I have told no one. If you steal any of my secrets I will hunt you down and break you.
p.s.s. there's a bit of a glitch that I've found, when I put this baby online there seems to be a problem with the scrollbar... the coolness of it goes away! I'm not sure why, yet, but I will figure it out.
5-06-2004
What does it mean to really fight for something you believe in? To fight for something you love? In my years as a convert to the church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), I often find myself in the position of defending my beliefs, my church, and my God. It can be a scary thing. People study their tushes off just to attempt to prove me wrong. Some even devote their lives to putting us down and making our lives miserable. Its sad, really, but there must be opposition in all things. With recent general conferences their have been the rudest groups of protestors I've ever seen. They paraded around with not only women's under garments, but the garments one wears after he or she has had their endowments. They are very sacred. And the protestors are very disturbing. "What can men do against such wreckless hate?" As the Second Coming draws ever so near the evil things of the world seem to be getting worse and coming out of the darkness, out into the open. The fight, or war, against this evil, whether it be from complete strangers or the closest of friends, is getting harder and harder. I find myself wondering how I would present what I know to these people... do I know enough... am I spiritually in-tune enough to speak to them so that they may be able to understand... how is my testimony... can I stand up for what I believe in, or know... am I strong? In my quest for this knowledge I find myself desiring to serve in the military.
Which branch? The army? An army of one. I've always had a love for the army, but it always seems to be the branch reserved for losers who have no direction in life. The Air Force? I have no real desire to be a pilot or really have anything to do with the pilotries. The Navy? I'd be a wee bit scared of any homos getting too friendly with me, but other than that, aye-aye cap'n, sign me up. The marines? No. I have a great deal of respect for them, but no. That is definitely not for me. I'm not big enough and mean enough for it. So I talked to my 'brother' Roy McCrory and asked for his opinion on military service. This marine said to me, "The first thing you need to know is that you can get killed out there. You can really die. We're at war." You're away from family and friends for extended periods of time, and its hard, real hard. But other than that there are a hundred of reasons of why you should.
So, with that, I am going to take Roy's advice, look into all the different branches including the coast guard and then I'll pray about it. I have the feeling that I'm going to do a lot of serious praying... yeah, I know, all prayer should be done with seriousness... but he's my Dad, and I always joke around with my Dad!