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| Tremor Tales page 8 |
| Off A Persian Carpet Patiently I waited, stomach growling, For my daughter to fill my plate from the Buffet. When she finally brought it to me, I groaned at the sight of the small dollops Of food that wouldn't fill a mite. Still, I Couldn't complain for she'd spared me The job of serving myself and appearing The slob as my trembling hands whipped It to the floor. And I'd have nothing but a Pyramid of cuisine to drool over, yet, isn't There class in eating off a Persian carpet? |
| Tremors Contagious He came walking up the sidewalk near where I was raking last Fall's leaves. Oh how I hoped That he would not see my head and hand tremors. But he stopped right in the middle of his passing. Why didn't he keep going? Be gone! He asked Me something in broken English. I didn't Understand. My shakes grew; he saw. Anguish. He waved an envelope in the air and my misery Diminished. "There's a mailbox down the block," I said. And he ran in the direction of My shaking pointing finger so fast He must've thought my tremors contagious. |
| Mr. Protector "Lady, you're making me dizzy with that paper You're holding." I was handing the store Employee an ad leaflet and trembling badly. Embarrassed by what he said, I explained, "I've a neurological disorder. Would you please get these items for me?" His Face flushed with shame, which kept my son From trouncing him. Later, as we were passing A throng of shoppers, a fidgety young Druggie stepped in front of me and hissed, "I got just what you need, lady, pure coke." And like a shot, my son slugged him. At that moment a policeman rushed out Of the throng and cuffed the druggie. "Wow, son," I said. "We helped catch a hood. But no more Mr. Protector, understood?" |
| Sweet Tess "What's wrong with your horse?" a ranch Hand asked as I led my Quarter horse Back to her stable. "Nothing," I replied. "I'm through riding." "Good thing, her legs sure Are wobbly." "Huh?" I mumbled, and looked back At Sweet Tess. Poor thing had caught my tremors And was a shaky mess. Tess stopped being sweet From that day forward. If I approach her with Reins she rears back and gallops off to hide Behind a haystack. Won't let me ride her, But lets me whisper in her ear, after she Makes sure I'm not carrying rein gear. |
| Tremors Sensual Doc, you want me to sign a form Giving you permission to study My brain? Well, okay, but it's kinda worn, What with all my thinking strain. You wanna find the cause of my tremor? Find the cells that cause me to shake like A hula dancer? My tremor makes me Sensual? And you say that by Studying those cells you'd learn how to Be sensual, too? Well all you have to do Is mimic my tremor and you will be. He did, still does, and he now charms More ladies than he can handle. |
| Dream's Relief Joyously enveloped in my dream, Not fettered by cares, nor oppression, I gently drift on breezes blowing, Warm and comforted, caressed and free. I'm borne along embraced by light Past wispy streams of rose-pink silks and Satins, my soul sweetly singing of the Blessings in life gifted to me. I Wake relaxed filled with thankfulness For my dream's relief from tremor stress. |
| She Hides The Sausage "No thank you," I said to the lady Holding out the paper plate with the Sample of barbeque sausage so Yummy looking, and I patted my ample Belly. My ruse worked and she Offered it to a grocery shopper Behind me. Whew! I'd gotten out of Exposing my hand tremors. But ohh, The scent of the sausage so enticed My mind I snatched one off her plate From behind. But my haste caused Such an increase in my shakes The sausage whipped from my fingers Up into the air. As it fell, I caught it With my teeth and munched away, and Onlookers clapped like crazy. She now Hides the sausage when she sees me coming. |
| Gooey Cream Cheese As I shakily clawed at the foil on The block of cream cheese, my fingers Became coated with squished out cheese. I gave up and had another dinner guest Remove the foil, while I sipped wine To steady my tremor. Alas, it did not, And further embarrassment I suffered. But later as I played the piano, Embarrassment drifted from my thoughts. And My playing so pleased all who listened, the Hostess didn't mind that I smeared all the keys With gobs and gobs of gooey cream cheese. |
| Nailed To The Plate "In this diner my hands will not shake," I muttered as I gripped the plate that Held my steak. "I will not let my tremor Spill it to the floor as I make my way To a booth to satiate my hunger. Made it!" Success felt so great, I forgot To hold steady as I cut the steak. My hand Jerked and it shot onto another's plate. He Thanked me profusely and I did state, "Enjoy each juicy bite you partake." And I ordered another nailed to my plate. |
| Origin Of Gnomes Certain it would rid me of my tremors, In the dark of night, under a full moon, I raced three times 'round my garden gnome. Instead, my shakes went on the rise. I'd run clockwise. Perhaps counterclockwise? As I ran in that direction, I stumbled and fell At the gnome's feet. And there came a snort From above. From the gnome! "Brutal," It glowered. "Run somewhere else, sport." "Taken aback, I squeaked, "I ran to get steady." "Yeah, I know, but you've made me dizzy. Plus, you're blocking the moonlight from me. I need its beams to loosen me up." "Loosen? That's it! By moonlight my shakes are worsened. I'll leave, but I'll be back when it's gone." The gnome was again rigid at dawn. As I ran 'round it, I hardened to the bone, And knew then the origin of gnomes: Running in circles will turn you to stone. |
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